On good days I'm glad I'm trans for the clarity and peace HRT has brought me. Testosterone was really messing me up, depression, anxiety.
On bad days, when the situation is weighing heavily on Sweety, I sit on the fence. What it's doing to my marriage is a curse, but the relative calm I can approach those days with is a blessing. Testosterone on my poor, beleaguered female brain led me to often make promises that were impossible to keep.
About 10 years back I realized I was poly and that made life really difficult for a while. I realized that a poly person CAN live monogamously and I've done so with enough motivation. When I realized I was trans I first looked back to that experience and soon realized that trans was a whole 'nother kettle of fish. This is not something you can ignore or put on a back burner and survive for very long.
