Hello. :)

[Rebecca(cloudy)]

Hello, my name is Rebecca. I'm technically considered a MtF transsexual, but prefer to introduce myself as my own gender - female. I'm twenty-years-old and I am currently attending college. I have been on hormones for about ten months now, and I am finally starting to feel comfortable in my own body.

I found this website about two years ago and read a few of the posts, but I didn't want to accept help from anyone about being transgender until now. I felt like I needed to overcome these issues myself to see myself as unconditionally female, but now I know that it's okay to accept help and that I'm a woman no matter what happens in my life.

I'm glad to join this community, and I hope we get along well.

[Ms Grace]

Hey Rebecca

Welcome to Susan's    Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

It can take a while before we are ready to accept help, I'm glad to hear that things seem to be moving well for you!

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Cheers

Grace

[Rebecca(cloudy)]

Thank you for welcoming me. I honestly feel a little anxious by posting in a forum meant for transgender individuals, possibly because this is my first time sharing the transgender aspect of myself to a community. I hope my anxiety goes away as I post more often, though.

[Ms Grace]

It's common to feel a bit nervous - but we're all going through (or have been through) similar experiences. You can make yourself as anonymous as you like if you're worried about posting to a public forum

[helen2010]

Rebecca

Welcome to Susans.  Its great to have you come join our community.  Plenty of great information, plenty of support and very friendly folk willing to share their experiences, perspective and a friendly ear.

Safe travels

Aisla

[Jera]

Welcome to Susan's, Rebecca.

I feel much the same way about finding help from others. It's been so long since I've even tried, and I wish I had done it sooner.

The anxiety definitely fades. People here really are amazing!

I really hope I get to learn more about you, in the coming days. Please, feel free to share whatever you feel like sharing.

[Julia-Madrid]

Hi there cloudy Rebecca

Welcome!  You've actually taken a really big step by deciding to interact with a community as Rebecca, so congratulations.  It does take considerable time, and courage, to move from a private image of onesself as a transgender person to having a public persona.  Hell, it took me 20 years!

Susan's is a wonderfully caring community, and you'll find an interesting and meaningful cross-section of people here to chat with and exchange ideas.  Everyone starts here as a newbie, so don't let that stop you.  Just be yourself, your true self.

Hugs
Julia

[Rebecca(cloudy)]

Thank you for your warm welcomes. I feel a lot better and I feel lucky to receive so much support when I just joined Susan's today. Encouragement really makes me smile; I've only recently realized how much praise can really affect someone.

In fact, this past Tuesday, a boy who looked about twenty years of age asked for my cell phone number and asked if I needed a ride to my college after we had talked for a few minutes. I could tell he knew I'm female, and he took an interest in me! I felt so happy because this is the first time anyone has ever been interested in me.

@Jera, I like playing the piano, writing creatively, (although I don't write very often), and rainy weather. I'm planning to become an elementary school teacher, and I love giving people a chance to try their best. However, I also have a lot of trouble with accepting myself consistently, especially when I act differently than usual.

Also, it is difficult to see myself as 'myself' in public. Even though I accept that I finally pass as female, I still feel uneasy in public, especially when I see young girls who I haven't met before. Thank you for telling me to be myself, Julia. I'll try my best.

[Jera]

@Jera, I like playing the piano, writing creatively, (although I don't write very often), and rainy weather. I'm planning to become an elementary school teacher, and I love giving people a chance to try their best. However, I also have a lot of trouble with accepting myself consistently, especially when I act differently than usual.

Wow, it really sounds like we have a lot in common! I love music, and though I play many instruments, the piano has always been one of my most cherished. Do you have a favorite composer you enjoy playing from most? Bach is one of mine, though I do not have the technical skill to actually play a lot of his works. Haydn is another of my favorites.

Writing can also be a fantastic outlet, for all things you're not totally willing to express to people directly. I managed somehow to even turn it into my primary career, about five years ago. Do you have a particular style or genre that you favor when writing?

Being a teacher is very demanding, though I am told also a rewarding experience. I very much admire teachers, and hope you find the means to pursue that choice, if you wish to, someday.

[Julia-Madrid]

Also, it is difficult to see myself as 'myself' in public. Even though I accept that I finally pass as female, I still feel uneasy in public, especially when I see young girls who I haven't met before. Thank you for telling me to be myself, Julia. I'll try my best.

Rebecca, the discomfort in public will pass. 

As I often explain to people, it is one thing to want to be a woman; it is totally different to act like a woman, and this needs to be learned.  When I compare the uncertain boy-girl I was 5 months ago with the mostly confident woman I am now, I surprise myself.  People don't realise a thing, even when they are just across the table from me at work meetings.  Guys offer to buy me drinks; taxi drivers chat me up  and tell me I have a sensual voice, even though I thoroughly dislike my voice. 

I'm in my 40s and I never expected this.  You're in your 20s and you're turning into a fantastic woman.  Enjoy it!!   

[jennifer356]

Hi Rebecca and welcome aboard - It is not a particularly exclusive club you have joined - Most of us have taken quite a while to get to know and accept ourselves before jumping into the forum - Now that you are here you can kick back, relax and enjoy the ride

be well
jennifer

[Rebecca(cloudy)]

Do you have a favorite composer you enjoy playing from most? Bach is one of mine, though I do not have the technical skill to actually play a lot of his works. Haydn is another of my favorites.

I actually don't know that many classical pieces on the piano. I mostly play video game music, anime music, and pop songs from the 90s. They sound really beautiful, especially when I express my feelings into into one.

Writing can also be a fantastic outlet, for all things you're not totally willing to express to people directly. I managed somehow to even turn it into my primary career, about five years ago. Do you have a particular style or genre that you favor when writing?

Wow, that's really neat! I used to write short stories for a class in 12th Grade about three years ago, and it was one of the most rewarding classes I have ever taken. I tend to write about real-life situations that evoke a lot of emotion. I have written about the comfort of home, the bittersweet feeling when seeing a psychologist whose personality doesn't appeal to you, and even a scenario in a video game centered on a minor character and her personality.

Being a teacher is very demanding, though I am told also a rewarding experience. I very much admire teachers, and hope you find the means to pursue that choice, if you wish to, someday.

Thank you very much. I love teaching, and I want to give young children the chance to really love school and want to participate. I was never interested much in science and history in elementary school and middle school, partly because the teachers didn't seem passionate about them and didn't give us a chance to relate to the subjects. I want to change this attitude in students and give them the ability to volunteer even if they don't know the answer and work with them until they know a lot about each subject and are interested in learning.