Ever since i was a teenager i have had feelings and thoughts of becoming a woman.
Even being sexually active at a young age with same sex, i just thought it was because i was young and discovering myself. By the time i was 18 i even said to myself, when i am 40 if i have not changed how i felt then i will actually do something about it and become a woman.
By the time i was 30 i was wearing womans underwear and just thought i was weird or bisexual. But now i dress as a woman when the family are not home. i wear womans underwear when i am work. I have told a couple of friends that i want to become a woman, and they was surprised at first, but now they are cool with it.
I know when i tell my mother that she will no longer want anything to do with me. My sister and i do not talk to, so there is no problem there. Just leaves my wife and 2 children. We have been fighting alot for the last few years. I no onger am attracted her, and i have been keeping my thoughts to myself, because of my children. My wife is a bit off balance, and i know when i tell her she will go crazy and make my life a living hell both at home and work. she would most proberbly move back to her home country and take the kids from me.
But, what makes this worst isthe fact i do not know where to start and who to contact for help and advice about coming out, and start transitioning. All i know is, i cant stand living as a man no more. To wake up and look in the mirror and finally see a woman not a man, and finally be the person i have always wanted to be, is something i want so badly.
This life i have at the moment is killing me, i have no lust to wake up in the morning, or come home from work.
I dont want to ruin my childrens childhood, with the dad becoming a woman, but i know i cant keep my mouth shut anymore and i will be coming out soon. I just dread the day when i do, and what i am going to do when i do, as i have no where else to go after i come out.
