Hello all. An introduction to me

[trapped_and_tortured]

little things mean a lot..
Is like this. when i was 14 or so i used to wear my mothers or sisters clothes (in secret) i did so until i could buy my own. I lead a very sheltered life apart from this.  I always liked the look and feel of them, and not being very big in the downstairs dept they were comfortable.. we (the family) moved to a country area from a suburban one and in order to make new friends i started looking at the hyper masculine side of life.. motorcycles drinking fighting and I suppose for the next 20 or so years i over compensated for the things inside me.. after all i was "the man" to beat when it came to bikes, cars or fighting.. but i never really settled down into a manly sex life.. but the things i felt were not acceptable in the company i kept.. and i knew nothing of the world.  any way some time later (15 years) i discovered the real world, but i was married and had a child? what could i do! i kept my other self hidden in the closet. My son has left home and my ex wife is long gone and now is the time to be the real me! At 50+ with a very masculine body shape ( my endo says I am the most manly man he see's) I am trying to discover who i really am.. I am realistic enough to realize i would be a rather ugly gurl but i don't feel like a man either, I have girly legs and arms but the rest of me arghhh!!!!!  . As a result of the secrets I have kept hidden from the world for so long I really don,t know who or what i am. I have discussed this with my shrink and my endo. and both agree that I am as my handle describes

to this end they have decided after much persuasion to let me change..

I have been on meds for only a week..

Finasteride    
progynova    
aldactone    
325mg asprin
all split doses.

in this first week i have been watching closly for any hint of change . and you know i am happier now than i have been for years.

day 1 am: the meds make me feel sick 15 mins after consumption

day 4 : while walking through town i realised i really like the world and i feel good.

Day 6 : in spite of encouragement from a friend. I cannot form an erection, totally flaccid    ( this happened so suddenly yesterday it worked)

Day 7 : no erection at all today and my scrotum which normally hangs quite low has lost a load of colour is now pale pink not a browny pink and is tightening up it is about 1/2 as low as it usually hangs..

I join this site!

I welcome any comment and value your opinions. I hope changes continue at this rate for a while but ..

Two questions :-

roughly how long before there are emotional changes??
roughly how long before there are changes in the way i think about sex??

sorry if my first post breaks any rules..

Love XX


Mod Edit:Dosage

[Maybebaby56]

Hi, and welcome! 

Well, you are not supposed to post any dosages on this site, so you should fix that. The mods will do that for you, actually, as soon as they notice you are here.

As far as your questions, the standard answer is everyone is different.  In my case, my dysphoria and my libido were greatly diminished after a week or two. Since you are already experiencing a loss of sexual performance and seem to be pretty happy about it, I'd say you have already changed the way you think about sex.

Becoming female is a process.  You have had a lifetime of acting like a male, and those habits are hard to break, even if you don't want them.  You have missed out on a lifetime of growing up as a girl. It is a much different reality. The social cost of transition, and letting go of your male self is also very difficult to deal with. Just have patience. It is a long, difficult journey, but it may deliver you to a wonderful place.

Blessings to you, and once again, welcome!

Terri

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Starting the transition is a major step to finding peace in your life. I did it many years ago but I still can remember what it was like and I have never regretted my decision. Because I transitioned so long ago, blocking T was something that wasn't done so I have had little experience with it. From what I has see of the writing of others, somewhere around 2 weeks is where your sex drive and transgender feeling may be reduced. It varies from person to person and sometimes there may need to be a dosage adjustment to get the blockers at the correct level. If there is anything I can help you with, let me know.

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