I have had some time to reflect on my first therapy session which was last week. I have been closeted for all of my life and to actually hear myself say "I identify as female and my name is Julie" to an actual person and to have an open and honest discussion about being transgender is such a huge step forward for me. Like others have said, this first session felt like a feeling out session. Mostly her getting to know me and my history.
I learned that this is real life for me, not some phase or period of questioning and uncertainty. She asked me about suicide, and although I'm not suicidal, I have considered it in the past and we talked about it. Again, the first time I had ever talked to anybody about this.
I'm only 1 session in, but I realize this is not going away and will be with me for the rest of my life. Just being able to talk about being transgender and reflecting on my life this past week has made me realize this.
She said can eventually refer me for HRT and I plan to address that process along with getting help on coming out at our next session. I feel in my soul that transition is what I need to do, and I know it's a long road that is not easy.
At the end of the session I asked how to deal with dysphoria on a day to day basis until our next meeting She said it was cliché, but to honestly just take it day by day. Transition is a process and it helps focusing on each day rather than getting overwhelmed by looking at how much work needs to be done and how far you have to go. That advice has helped, but it is still tough day to day.
For anyone considering therapy my advice is to go ahead and do it. Do it sooner rather than later. If you're questioning if you need it like I was, you already know the answer.
