Changes in your sexuality? (NSFW)

[Cailan Jerika]

I was wondering, what kind of changes others have had regarding their sexuality?

I consciously repressed my bisexuality until I admitted to myself I am transgender, and now embrace both.

I've never been dysphoric about the parts I have, and still am not. My dysphoria has always been about the parts I feel are *missing*.

I have always been about PIV sex - everything else was foreplay. Since I started T, I still have the craving for PIV sex, but it no longer does the job. PIV still feels "good" but it's no longer a gateway to orgasm. I'm rather devastated that vaginal intercourse is no longer working for me, but my parts behave so differently, and my growing penis isn't stimulated the way my clit was, and I ceased having vaginal orgasms entirely. I was one of those rare folks who had an orgasm (or multiples) every single time I had sex, and I miss it. I now find myself craving anal sex (both giving and recieving) and oral sex. I used to *hate* oral sex and anal sex was *scary*.

I don't know how much of this is due to physical changes because of T, and how much is mental, accepting that my inner guy is real, and is taking over my body. It's a little bit alarming, because I *loved* sex as a woman, and it worries me that sex might not be as good in the future.

[Rebo]

I'm going to start my 4th month soon. I've never minded PIV either as my bottom dysphoria isn't bad at all. That said I have noticed changes in my sexuality. I used to consider myself bi then pan. Lately I'm wondering if I'm just gay. I'm a little worried about it. My hubs has been great about my transition but we used to like to have ladies join us sometimes. We took a haitus while things settle. I'm not sure how I feel at the moment. I don't want to hold him back but we have established rules lol. I'm still mulling it over. I may be too early in my transition for the physical sensation changes. -shrugs- I will say sex had been much better. I actually climax now.


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[Averyel]

I'm only just starting to accept myself, and over the last couple of weeks have been working on the courage to buzz away my fur - which is more accurate that calling it 'hair'. That plus acquiring toys for the first time in my life has resulted in finally starting to approach my sexuality as something that exists for my enjoyment, rather than as something dangerous, shameful, and mainly for the benefit of my partner.

I'm also becoming increasingly certain that I'm pretty much done with seeking out relationships. My body is mine, now.

[Ryuichi13]

Excellent line of questioning!

PIV sex used to be what I always craved pre-T for me as well, but since being on T for nearly 9 months, I only very occasionally feel the need for it. 

Since growing a dick, I find that I can get myself off better than I could before, and still have multiple orgasms.  PIV as the receiver, at least for now, I consider something not needed much anymore.  However, I now find that I now have the urge to be the penetrator.

I have to admit, I'd love to hear how men that have had UL that still have their vaginal openings feel about receiving PIV sex.  Has the feelings changed in any way?  Do you still have the need to have PIV sex, and if so, do you ever have the urge to be the penetrator as well as/instead of being penetrated?

Ryuichi


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[Kylo]

I have experienced no drastic changes to sexuality. I hated piv sex unless my interest in the other person was strong enough to override any thoughts about it completely which was rare in general. I know how to make it work well but brain still won't accept the v. I don't think it ever will.

[TransAm]

I'm a lot more open than I ever was before. Don't get me wrong, I was never a 'prude', but there aren't many things I'd be completely closed off to trying these days.

My ability to have multiples died, though, and I have a refractory period these days.

[FTMax]

I thought I was a lesbian for a really long time. Tried with varying levels of success to have relationships with women but never really enjoyed sex. Found a lot of comfort in the stone butch label at the time (for the unfamiliar - I touch you, you don't touch me).

After I came out and started transitioning, I was more open minded about sex but still never got much out of it. It felt more like a chore than something I actively wanted to do. Never got that surge in sex drive that a lot of people talk about. I thought I might find guys attractive, so tried dating another FTM. Wasn't into it at all.

I figured sex might be a different thing post-op after I'm completely comfortable with where I'm at physically. Now that I'm post-op, I can say that it's not and I identify as asexual. So no, no drastic shift here. Just clarity about what was always there.

[myraey]

This is also interesting to me as I relate to this . I hope you don't mind me posting in here. I have had some gender dysphoria thoughts since I was maybe 4 or 5. That does not mean I would be automatically transgender , want to transition or get surgeries. I am still not sure about that. For me gender is entirely separate from sex . But sex is definitely related to gender in away.

When I close my eyes my idea of sex has always been me being penetrated. Top Bottom whatever it does not change. And also I could do other things with the penis of someone else. I identified as heterosexual earlier on. I still primarily liked the look and feel of women. There is a contradiction there. It was very difficult for me. It caused me some dysphoria . But I have moved past that. I even like Piv with a female. I even like the penetrating much more than before. You use what you have got right? I have moved past this and this causes no issues for me. I have always wanted to have sex as a woman. That caused so much shame and guilt. I think I would be open to both guys and girls. Who knows who I would prefer. I don't know.

Later on I have appreciated males more. My idea of sex always included a heterosexual couple. Two males was not my thing. I then moved to think I might be bi or pan or whatever. This was much more difficult. I also considered if I am bi or pan or whatever and not transgender. But there still is the gender stuff. It would be much more difficult as I never identified as gay. Being gay or bi would be much easier than any of this transgender business. I had no problems liking women , while at the same time being dysphoric about sex with them. Now if I really saw some good looking guy I might be open to that. Even if it misses the female in that equatíon. I have no experience with men. If you come to this point it is not that big of a deal.

[Contravene]

I never was comfortable with PIV sex when I was pre-t. I guess being on T has made me more comfortable with my body though. I still have bottom dysphoria but it's not as strong as the dysphoria I have with my chest. I can't bring myself to schedule a (second) doctor's appointment for down there. See, I can hardly even write about it  but with my fiancée it's a completely different story. She's allowed to have all of me including that part of my body during sex and I always enjoy it. It's sort of like that's hers and hers alone otherwise it's not acknowledged. That's really the only way my sexuality has changed.

I think when people transition and experience a shift in desire it's not so much a change in sexuality as it is a change in how they perceive their body and a change in how comfortable they are with their body.

I also didn't know it was so rare to orgasm every single time you have sex. Man that must suck not to.

[November Fox]

Back when I hadn´t realized why I felt so weird, I used to think I was straight. So I dated guys exclusively. I never really got why people were so positive about sex, as most of the time I felt uninterested, it just felt weird.

I had a few moments were I was attracted to women but I ignored it. I did not feel like a "lesbian" (brackets added because I did not feel like a girl). So getting involved with women was off the table.

When I started T, my interest in girls sparked and has been steadily growing, to the point that I would now rather court a woman than a man. Men still interest me from time to time, which I guess would make me "bi".

[James80]

I haven't experienced changes in orientation on T, but I think more about it.

I've always prefered the company of men, even when I was too young to know about sex. Essentially, these are the people who are like me and the only people I can form a close, meaningful attachment with.

I wouldn't object to having sex with a woman, because I'm on T and the drive is killing me sometimes, but to actually develop feelings for her would be so impossible for me that I can't even describe it. Just not going to happen.

So...since I'd rather be a nice guy/decent human being and not use women and throw them away (they generally deserve better), I just don't even consider having sex with them. I'm too old to be that guy anyway.

[Cailan Jerika]

So...since I'd rather be a nice guy/decent human being and not use women and throw them away (they generally deserve better), I just don't even consider having sex with them. I'm too old to be that guy anyway.

Keep in mind some ladies WANT a sexual fling with no attachments!

[Corax]

I have never engaged in sexual activity and I am unable to do that until I've completed my physical transition because I lack the right parts. I am incredibly dysphoric about that stuff in my pants and what isn't there.  The sex I could have with those parts that this body currently has is like a nightmare scenario for me and the thought of using those parts especially in that way disgusts me beyond believe. I would never show anyone that awful thing in my pants that I am stuck with since birth because it would be just humiliating.
Additionally, I can only see and fantasise myself as a top, as the active part and at this point I still lack the equipment for that.

That said I still noticed a change going on T.
It was like I have never gone through puberty before because when the wrong oestrogen puberty kicked in the only things it caused were severe depression and aggression and making my life miserable. I didn't have a libido though and I didn't look at men in a sexual way. I could say if someone looked handsome - aesthetic much like an artwork or something - in my eyes but that was that. Would I have liked a romantic relationship with a man if he had seen me as a guy – yes, would I have thought about having sex with him – no.
And since I have gone on T the way I view this and I have become much more sexual overall. Testosterone not only ridded me off the depression and aggression, it also caused my libido to sky-rocket. Now I do find that I look at some other guys in a different, more sexual way and think about sex more often in general.
Unfortunately, I still lack a functioning dick and dealing with that has become a lot more difficult with the libido kicking in and me starting to become a sexual person for the first time just like some teenager than with no libido whatsoever.

[WolfNightV4X1]

Going to agree wirh Nov-fox. I wasnt all that interested in women until transition, I just wasn't a lesbian at all...I would not have been comfortable in a relation that way. I used to be solidly heterosexual, with appreciation of a woman's aesthetic appeal with no desire for intimate contact, now I'm bisexual and I find Im really attracted to women more these days as a guy. Now I'm bisexual, still leaning towards guys more but the balance has shifted.

[Rowena_Ellenweorc]

I don't know that mine has really changed to be honest.  My heart was never in it with PIV... didn't really feel good/right to me.  I always chalked it up to the sexual trauma I suffered in foster care or my not so great health.  But I think its really more than that.

I've only been with one person really sexually. (Obviously not counting the aforementioned trauma) But I know my sexuality has never been one hundred percent straight.  Never could get off with PIV with my husband. The whole 'foreplay' bit is really what its about for me... And some other 'adventurous' stuff my husband will not do.  Before admitting to myself, I always wished I had a female partner who understood the workings of a vagina... and how to play with it. And I always did imagine myself using toys on her and kind of penetrating her.  Or I'd imagine myself with male anatomy and with a guy partner... I guess this is really where I also see my non-binary gender and queer sexuality come through.

Hard to explain. Long story short, PIV has never been a great experience for me.  Straight vanilla sex is just not what gets me off.

[meatwagon]

pre-everything, so maybe i'm not qualified to join in this topic, but i'll throw my two cents' worth of experience in anyway:

i was raised to be a heterosexual female and not question it, so for a while i thought that was the case.  i started noticing girls in middle and high school, but tried to ignore it; it was a while before i started to consider myself bi or pan. 
some years ago, i had a huge weight problem due to some issues with medication.  i had just gotten off of birth control, which had nearly killed my sex drive, and was having problems with another medication i was on around the same time.  this put my hormones out of whack, and i had some very mild masculinization as a result (increased sex drive, loss of period, slight change of fat distribution, increased body hair, etc... i even gained a single little beard hair that now annoys the crap outta me lol).  after that, i really started "noticing" things in terms of what i was attracted to.  having a boosted sex drive for the first time since puberty and being away from my family, i was a little more free to explore what i liked--though i was in a monogamous relationship at the time, so i didn't explore too freely then, either.  but some part of me had to acknowledge that if i were single, women would definitely not be off the table.
since then the relationship has ended, the weight problem has been resolved by changing medications, and the hormones are back to normal female levels, with the sex drive back to being very minimal.  but i have had time to really look and think about what i find attractive without feeling the need to repress myself, and i've come to the conclusion that the only thing i know for sure that i'm attracted to is women.  i'm not sure if i was ever really into men at all, or if it was just "then done thing".  i can admire a good-looking man, but it doesn't really feel the same to me as when i see a pretty gal. 
i'm hoping that when i do get to start T, i'll have a better grip on exactly how i feel about certain things.  right now, it's hard to tell because i don't want anyone else to be into me as i am now, and i don't want to imagine myself or be put into a female role.  but long story short, i think i've gone from being "straight" one way to being "straight" the other way.  i don't know if that was always true and i just refused to acknowledge it for so long or if anything has actually changed for one reason or another over time.

[Averyel]

I recently started HRT, and oddly enough I've already noticed a drop in libido, and also I don't seem to hold any interest in men any longer. I'm just a lesbian, looks like.

[FTMKyle]

Before I transitioned I had only ever had sex with one girl and no guys. I really can't explain why, but I suppressed my attraction to men and called myself a lesbian. But when I started to consider transitioning, I started to think that I might be more open to dating/sleeping with men. I got into a relationship with a cis guy shortly after starting T, and I pretty much am only attracted to guys with the occasional "hey that girl looks hot" thought. Now that the relationship is over, I hope that I can have another chance with a different guy one day. I also seem to be strangely attracted to gay men.

As for sex itself, I guess I am a little more open to the different types, but like I said, I'm still not very experienced. 

[SeptagonScars]

I started out in life as bisexual (got my first girl crush and my first boy crush at the same age, and was open about being bi from my mid teens. However I always had much more leaning for men than women. When I started taking testo it became even more so, and gradually I continued to lose interest in women, although it still hapens very rarely. So I consider myself gay now, or homoflexible if I'm gonna be more precise, but usually I'm not and it's easier to just say gay.

I have always been dysphoric about my downstairs, but it used to be to a much milder degree until around midway through my transition. For just about 1 year after I first started having sex I did enjoy piv and could also get multiple orgasms that way, but I think that also had a lot to do with my mental connection with my boyfriend at that time, and I was still in my denial (of being trans) -period back then.

Over time after having come out and started taking testo (and been single for a while but still finding random sex partners once in a while), my bottom dysphoria increased, but I became more okay with other parts of my body due to physical changes from T. Piv sex started messing with my mind, that I thought it didn't feel right for me. So I started experimenting with anal instead and I noticed that I felt much more comfortable with that, both physically and mentally. (I've only ever received penetration, might try giving at some point, but only time will tell. I'm comfortable as a bottom). Now for a few years I haven't been able to enjoy piv sex at all and I don't even want to try it again anymore. It can stay in my past. Btw I can still get multiple orgasms (not piv then) but it's very rare and depends on how well I connect with my partner.

I cannot say how much or which ones of my mental changes have been due to me taking testo, and what's just been me growing older and developing as I live my life. Cause it seems I'm leaning more and more steretypically masculine the more time passes, but I know that's far from how it is for everyone. Either way though, I'm just going along with my random mental changes as well as I can.

[Kreuzfidel]

I never had nor craved PIV.  Nothing changed in my sexuality really after starting T other than the frequency of being in the mood. 

Nowadays, I don't really have much of a sex drive at all. 

I think it's different for everyone.  I believe that sex and sexuality is often an evolving concept in our lives - not only as
individuals whose bodies are undergoing hormonal and physical changes, but as individuals who, regardless of age, continue to change both physically and mentally.