how do I stop the negative thoughts

[kittylover]

I keep thinking things like
I'm not really trans because....(fill in the blank with pretty much anything)
I'm an attention whore
I don't deserve how nice everyone at college is being to me
I'll never be happy
*misgenders myself on purpose*
how can you expect other people not to misgender you if you keep misgendering yourself
you say you're a man so why don't you act like one?
-etc.etc. etc. how do I make it stop?
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[suzifrommd]

I get those same feelings (and I'm a year into happily living full time and happily 3 months post-op) because my narrative doesn't fit the typical transwoman's story.

I remind myself of the euphoria I felt when I first shaved my legs and when I saw myself having a female body with my breast forms in place, and how I was willing to jeopardize my job and lose my family to transition.

Cis people don't do that. They just don't.

Are there things you can remind yourself of?

[chibiStephy]

whenever I felt like that, What I do is trying to remember why i chose this, why is so important to me, what will happen if I go back how is going to be my life living in a Lie just because I wasn't strong enough, that that gives me strength again to keep going forward

keep chasing your dreams no matter what

[cisdad]

I keep thinking things like
I'm not really trans because....(fill in the blank with pretty much anything)
I'm an attention whore
....
-etc.etc. etc. how do I make it stop?
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What has worked for me (not trans* but that's not the only route to having negative self-talk) is to take your list of negative comments (just the list here -- you have to limit the time you spend looking at these negative statements, so start with this bunch that are top of your mind) AND THEN ...

Think about 'counters'.  Statements that you will feel the truth of, that run opposite your negative self-talk.

For instance, reply to 'I'm an attention whore' with something like "Am not!  Remember how fast I bolted when someone suggested I talk to a group about kumquats?"

Ok, details will have to be changed.  But surely there are times when you have actively avoided attention.  The real attention whores (I've known a couple, both cis as far as I know) don't do that.

Time will help.  Something like this might help the time pass faster.

[amd]

It helps me to remember that I grew up with a lot of really negative messages and images about transpeople, almost like marinating in toxic ideas. So of course some of them soaked in. But it helps when I have them to call them out in my head as thoughts I inherited, not ones I came up with or want to believe.

So, as often as I can, when I notice myself having one of those thoughts, I go "wow, look at that transphobic garbage kicking around my head." I still have the feelings, but I spin in them less when I challenge those beliefs.

Also, I remind myself, just because you have a certain thought, it doesn't mean it's true.

Plus, just know that you're not alone in doubting yourself. If I had a nickel for every trans person I know who struggled with not being "(fill in the blank) enough," I would seriously be rich. It's crap, and it's toxic. Don't believe it. Keep fighting it. Find people who celebrate you and support you (like in these forums). Hang in there!

[Neptune]

I feel like that a lot of the time, too.  I hope it gets better.  For me, I think it's about taking whatever steps feel okay each day and trying to keep in mind that I'm important.  YOU are important and it is so much more important for you to be comfortable with yourself than anyone else because you're the one who has to walk around in your body and with your mind all day.  No body else has to do that 24/7.  That's what I keep telling myself anyways.  You're not alone.

[janetcgtv]

Everyone gets negative thoughts. Therefore you are not alone on this. Just ask for help on how to get through them. They don't stop until you overcome them.

[Jess42]

By replacing them with positive thoughts or at least a balance between the negative and positive thoughts. A therapist can help you with that and there are thousands of self help books and probably millions of google hits on the subject. Positive Image Reinforcement is one way and it's not really that hard to do but does take time to condition your mind though. OK so you have these negative thoughts and the way you got them is basically about the same way to give yourself more positive thinking.