Passing

[mythy]

I have finally gotten to a point where I pass as male (even if I may feel a little bit more on the non-binary spectrum) and there are a lot of ways that people treat me different now. I have a lot of co-workers who never would have known that I am trans if they didn't accidentally see my old name on my payroll sheet etc. One thing that I noticed (I work in customer service) I will say basically the same things to customers and treat them the same way as I did before transition, however now when I am nice to people I am seen as being fantastically, overwhelmingly nice. Has anyone else experienced this? it's like because they see me as a dude, it surprises them that I am nice to them.

I blame sexism.

Anyone else experienced people treating you differently (even though it may be subtle) because of passing? Thoughts?

[Ianianian]

I don't pass much but one time at redneck Home Depot (a home depot near my mom's house in the north georgia mountains) my mom asked a salesperson a question and he read me as male and he started completely ignoring my mother and only talking to me even though 1) she was the one who asked the question and 2) I was looking through my phone and not paying any sort of attention at all.

So yeah you do start getting to know what it's like to have male privilege/a male role in society, one example being that guy discounting my mother because of her gender and assuming I could understand him in a way she couldn't (which was very much not the case). You just gotta make sure to like redirect that stuff wherever possible.

[Brandon]

Yes I get treated like every other guy, like another guy said once you get that male privalege things change, from my experience being in highschool and getting that male privalege is funny and awkward, we talk about sex alot,girls like little immature boys I guess you could say, we always have the convos where girls are excluded because they wouldn't get it or what not its interesting.

[Deinewelt]

I think that there are a lot of issues that come up with regards to your typical day to day situations.  For one thing, as MTF, I find that when I'm interacting with other males in day to day life while presenting as a male, I am way too nice to everybody.  It could be that you are just used to being nicer to people due to the types of interactions that you are used to before transitioning?  I also often use words that describe my feelings or how I feel about something, which I have had co-workers poke fun at.  So yes this isn't about me passing as FTM and seeing the world in a new way, it is just that I am different and have always had issues with this.  In your case it is just a new thing, so hang in there and get used to having male privileged in the same way that I'll have to get used to losing it.  

[Kreuzfidel]

I find it interesting that when I'm standing with a female co-worker, even if it's my manager - customers will approach us and always direct their questions to me, only making eye contact with me and often completely ignoring my female co-worker. 

Guys at my work think I'm odd because I only ever hang out with females - they generally think either I'm "playing" all the women.

I don't really have much to compare to because I didn't start working until after I transitioned.  I don't really have the female perspective from working as someone who was taken for female. 

But, yes - social things I definitely notice from people and the way they treat/react to me and things that I say and do.

[EvanAidan]

I am a manager at speedway and when I first started I was perceived as female. Once my customers(a lot are regulars) were told I was truly a male and I was in the process of transitioning I see the same things.

If there was a problem that needed my attention a lot of the guys would get super irritated that a female was trying to fix their problem. Now that I am perceived as a male, my customers are generally more happy with my answers to their problems. I find it pretty funny because I am the co manager and my store manager is female, that customers will actively seek me out, even when she is on the floor.

[KamTheMan]

Girls think it's flippin adorable/awesome now when I act like a d!ck. It's obnoxious but w/e.

[Brandon]

Girls think it's flippin adorable/awesome now when I act like a d!ck. It's obnoxious but w/e.

Lmao, thats how girls are around me.

[Blue Senpai]

Girls think it's flippin adorable/awesome now when I act like a d!ck. It's obnoxious but w/e.

Really? Girls go nuts for that?

[Brandon]

Really? Girls go nuts for that?

Alot do haha in my experience Idk about kams though.

[KamTheMan]

Really? Girls go nuts for that?

Alot do haha in my experience Idk about kams though.

haha actually yea. i've noticed my patience has all but disappeared since starting T, so sometimes I say things without thinking, but all the girls i'm around just giggle about it. i would have loved this in high school.

[Bimmer Guy]

haha actually yea. i've noticed my patience has all but disappeared since starting T, so sometimes I say things without thinking, but all the girls i'm around just giggle about it. i would have loved this in high school.

I actually find this to be sad more than anything else.  Our society sets up women to accept "dick like" behavior from men.  In fact, as your experience shows, we encourage women to find it endearing. 

No offense, guys, I just don't find this is something to encourage in women or something to find pleasure in.

[Ayden]

I actually find this to be sad more than anything else.  Our society sets up women to accept "dick like" behavior from men.  In fact, as your experience shows, we encourage women to find it endearing. 

No offense, guys, I just don't find this is something to encourage in women or something to find pleasure in.

This. Using the "I'm a guy/on T/whatever" to justify acting like a jerk isn't kosher in the slightest. I'm not that far out of school and I've seen first hand how much women "enjoy" it.

[KamTheMan]

Definitely not justifying anything. My personality has always been very dry and sarcastic. I haven't changed since starting T. Aspects of my personality have just become stronger. I find it interesting that the way I am is more favored/accepted now that I live full time as male. Do I think it's a good thing? For me, yea. For society, of course not. But I've spent my whole life wanting natural attention from girls. And there's no way I'm going to let someone try to make me feel bad about girls paying attention to me for being me.

[KamTheMan]

And PS, I'm the guy that does anything and everything to make every woman around them feel like they deserve absolutely everything in life. But I'm naturally a sarcastic douche, it's just the way it is.