Stereotypes

[Lostkitten]

The constant struggle of trying to defend yourself. This hasn't happened so often yet in real time, but plenty online.

Real women can give birth. Real men can in-pregnant a woman. Sex isn't gender and gender isn't identity, or is it? It is all so confusing x_x and honestly, fun to talk about .

As for me, I am not yet on hormones, I don't tuck anything, I rarely drink alcohol and only since a year and I never smoked/done drugs (even though it is legal here ). Even so I heard today I am sterile and probably always been. Does that makes me less of a man that I once identified myself as?

Just felt for writing this down/talk it off. I remember how my father always mentioned I was the only boy to continue our family name and that is where I felt the pressure of coming out. To figure out I never would be able to do so anyway, even if I wanted to. I never really had a child-wish because I get so.. awkward around kids. But I could imagine me wanting it more as I grow older. To now figure out I can't even if I would want to.

Just meh.

[Foxglove]

Oh, yes, stereotypes: everybody's subject to them and there's nothing we can do about it until our species evolves past the need for them.  On one forum (that has nothing to do with TGism) a woman was complaining because sometimes people are at her because she likes to read history.  History just doesn't seem to be an appropriate pursuit for a woman.  What can you do about that?

[Natalie]

Sounds like you need to see a psychologist.

[Ms Grace]

The important thing to remember is that you don't exist for the sole purpose of "carrying on the family line", you're a person who gets to live their life as they chose without the need for family expectations. Besides, if you are sterile you've got a pretty good "Get out of 'fatherhood'" card right there.

[Mark3]

I know that feeling, I'm sterile too.
I have a sister in Utah that has 3 great kids, and even though we don't talk anymore, I always feel so inadequate when I think of her life and mine. When we were younger and lived in the same city people would ask how her and the kids were, then just look at me and say "nice to see you", it just felt like crap. And its gotten worse as time goes on.

I wonder how it will feel in the next life to have none of it, no restraints, labels, judgment, and stereotypes to affect us, because it takes an enormous amount of energy dealing with these feelings every day, it will just be a relief someday not having to.

[Lostkitten]

Sounds like you need to see a psychologist.

Beside that I already speak with someone once a month, what is up with that response?

The child you may want to have in the future may not be created from sperm of your own, but that child will adopt many of your great attributes, and be molded by your presence. The child would be yours, undoubtably yours.

Thank you for that way of describing it, it felt like a huge cheer-up ^^.

[Natalie]

I am not sure how I am able to read minds...if you know how to obtain this secret ability, please let me know.

[antonia]

I can relate and perhaps offer another perspective.

A couple on months ago I was all set to start my HRT, the doctor was ready, I'd come out to everyone in my life, I'd been full time for a month and just in case I ever wanted to have kids of my own I decided to have some sperm frozen. I thought it a pretty unlikely scenario but since my girlfriend of 4 years and I had not fully made up our mind although we had talked about adoption possibly being a better option I decided it was a small cost.

So I made my appointment, went to the clinic, signed the forms, did my thing and they told me wait 20 minutes, tick tock tick tock, 45 minutes later a very grave looking doctor walked in with a very sad face and told me that they looked for swimmers but could not find any, so they used a centrifuge to concentrate and still no swimmers. Turns out I have never made any viable swimmers and this being a fertility clinic he felt very bad telling me this news.

I had already had about 15 minutes to figure something was probably wrong so my reaction was to smile, tell the doctor not to worry and told him out of all the people that seek his help if it had to happen to anyone it might as well be me because I wasn't planning on having kids or keeping my reproductive organs.

In a small way it was a relief, somehow I wasn't sacrificing anything by going on hormones and choosing to have surgery. I could have mourned the fact that my genetic material would never be passed on but given that I share 99.9% of my DNA with the human on the planet that I'm least related to I can still propagate almost all of my genes by adopting if I choose to do so. I also kept in mind that the variance between generations and children is so great that there is no guarantee that the active parts of my genome would be active in my offspring.

What I think is more important for me is passing on my thoughts, the way I look at life and the universe, that's what makes me .... me

Why mourn something you never had or could ever have done anything about, you could not have changed or influenced this in any way so accept it for what it is, be happy and change some things that you have the power to affect.

The constant struggle of trying to defend yourself. This hasn't happened so often yet in real time, but plenty online.

Real women can give birth. Real men can in-pregnant a woman. Sex isn't gender and gender isn't identity, or is it? It is all so confusing x_x and honestly, fun to talk about .

As for me, I am not yet on hormones, I don't tuck anything, I rarely drink alcohol and only since a year and I never smoked/done drugs (even though it is legal here ). Even so I heard today I am sterile and probably always been. Does that makes me less of a man that I once identified myself as?

Just felt for writing this down/talk it off. I remember how my father always mentioned I was the only boy to continue our family name and that is where I felt the pressure of coming out. To figure out I never would be able to do so anyway, even if I wanted to. I never really had a child-wish because I get so.. awkward around kids. But I could imagine me wanting it more as I grow older. To now figure out I can't even if I would want to.

Just meh.

[BreezyB]

The constant struggle of trying to defend yourself. This hasn't happened so often yet in real time, but plenty online.

Real women can give birth. Real men can in-pregnant a woman. Sex isn't gender and gender isn't identity, or is it? It is all so confusing x_x and honestly, fun to talk about .

As for me, I am not yet on hormones, I don't tuck anything, I rarely drink alcohol and only since a year and I never smoked/done drugs (even though it is legal here ). Even so I heard today I am sterile and probably always been. Does that makes me less of a man that I once identified myself as?

Just felt for writing this down/talk it off. I remember how my father always mentioned I was the only boy to continue our family name and that is where I felt the pressure of coming out. To figure out I never would be able to do so anyway, even if I wanted to. I never really had a child-wish because I get so.. awkward around kids. But I could imagine me wanting it more as I grow older. To now figure out I can't even if I would want to.

Just meh.

We don't know the meaning of life Kirey although I'm just about positive that it has something to do with finding happiness, not creating lots of little people. There are enough humans in the world that I'm sure we can be assured the human race will continue with our direct contribution.

I have lots of friends both male and female who have chosen not to have kids or are unable to have kids. They are no less male or female than You or me. It's good your talking about it though, it's the best way forward to finding that happiness we're all seeking (I think we are aren't we    )