Came out to my sister - When did you tell your family?

[Emily1996]

More than coming out to her, she saw some picture of me, ans she got really mad at me for wearing some of her clothes (I didn't really much because she's a little bit bigger than me in sizes) still, she threatened to tell my mom and she does that every time. Plus, she loves to make my mom notice how my nails might be too long, or my hair. How I talk and walk, etc... Any tips on making things better?

I made a video about my coming out to my sister and other stuff on my youtube channel.



How was your coming out?

[Foxglove]

Hi, Emily!

I came out to my brother and sister a couple of months after I went full time, and they were perfectly cool with it.  Of course, I'm not nearly as young as you, so it wasn't nearly the worry for me that it was for you.  Still, it's nice to have the support of your siblings.

I also confessed to my sister that way back when, I'd "borrowed" some of her clothing from time to time, and she just laughed it off.  She also told me--and I found this hard to believe--that she'd never noticed any funny business going on.  That was lucky for me, because if she'd started asking questions, I'd have been in big trouble with our parents.

[antonia]

I think there might be a category missing, "As soon as I decided to transition", I knew I was trance since 13 and that I wanted to be a girl since 5 but I did not decide to transition until 34 and that's when I told them

[Megumi]

I knew at 4 years old, had a bad moment at 5 years old that made me fear my being different and to hide that from everyone, I came out when I was 29 3/4 years old. I had told my parents a month before I told my sister & her husband which was a month before I started HRT on my 30th birthday. Things did not go well at first with my sister and her husband as he is very "religious" but now things are pretty well between all of us even though it's been a very difficult journey.

My sister didn't accept me until after I started living full time nearly 3 months ago. She always said that when X happens she'll believe "this" is real and every time I met that X requirement a new one was put in it's place. It was almost like she was pushing me on to be me but really she was hoping that I'd fail to meet the new goal that she'd set. It got to the point where she would not say my name even though I had legally changed it until people at work started calling me by my name. After my work friends started posting on facebook using my real name she had at "admit" defeat and start dealing with our real reality. She's actually mad that I look good, I'm slim and tall even though I still don't feel that I look good she feels threatened by me trying to steal her female thunder when all I'm doing is being me and trying to be happy about who I am for once in my life.

[stephaniec]

by the time I  started to transition my parents had passed and had stopped talking to siblings  for other reasons, but everyone knew I might be heading this way.

[Emily1996]

Hi, Emily!

I came out to my brother and sister a couple of months after I went full time, and they were perfectly cool with it.  Of course, I'm not nearly as young as you, so it wasn't nearly the worry for me that it was for you.  Still, it's nice to have the support of your siblings.

I also confessed to my sister that way back when, I'd "borrowed" some of her clothing from time to time, and she just laughed it off.  She also told me--and I found this hard to believe--that she'd never noticed any funny business going on.  That was lucky for me, because if she'd started asking questions, I'd have been in big trouble with our parents.

You're really lucky today my sister found out i'm ordering hormones online, and she confiscated the stuff with my mom (who I lied to telling her it was something else), but I'm probably not getting them back. I don't know what to do anymore. This situations is incredibly stressing me, and it puts me into a lot of depression. I lost my sister now, and she hates me, and she will do anything to make me suffer, etc...

[Foxglove]

You're really lucky today my sister found out i'm ordering hormones online, and she confiscated the stuff with my mom (who I lied to telling her it was something else), but I'm probably not getting them back. I don't know what to do anymore. This situations is incredibly stressing me, and it puts me into a lot of depression. I lost my sister now, and she hates me, and she will do anything to make me suffer, etc...

My heart goes out to you.  That's pretty awful stuff.  But this is why I didn't come out when I was young.  Things would have been at least that bad.  It's hard to know what to do when you're facing that sort of opposition.  One can only hope that your mom and sis will wise up.

[ElDudette]

Came out to my lil'sis the day after I figured it out since she's pansexual and I figured she's be supportive. I came out to my older sister a few days after that, after my lil'sis suggested she'd be more supportive than I was thinking she'd be.  Still haven't told my mum or dad yet. Probably won't tell my parents until after I get to the point of HRT.. My dad will likely be confused but accepting.. my mum however.. I don't know. I'm scared to be around her after some remarks she made 2 weeks back about thinking that my aunt (a bible thumping nut part of the Copeland cult) had the right idea to control every aspect of her kids' lives...  My mum was one of my best friends, I'd go over there and cook a few times a week, we'd hang out, hit the movies, go shopping...  I'm in my 30's, I own my own house, have my own life.. I shouldn't be afraid of my own mum.. but here I am afraid of how far off the deep end she's going to go..  Maybe she'll surprise me and not go nutters.. though if she doesn't I'm playing the lotto that day before my luck runs out.


Sorry for being a Debbie downer, it's just been hanging on my mind like a noose for the last 2 weeks...

[Anna-Maria]

Honestly,  I´m also pre-HRT (starting with HRT by end of this year) but I already came out to everyone it has to concern. To my gif, family and close friends. For myself, I guess it´s fair towards people who are close to you and love you letting them know what´s up with you and what are you planning to go through. So, at the time I first came out to my gif and my grandma I knew that I would come out to the rest of the family and friends a good time before starting physically transitioning. It´s a matter of time, I guess. They need time to get used to the thought of you as a girl, you and them will need time to talk about what it means to be Transsexual and transitioning, so to prepare them mentally for the tremendous changes (physically at first) which will occur. I think this will forestall some overreaction or irrational acts by them. I learned, the key to get support is talking, talking and talking. It´s tough to tell the same story over and over again but it´s worth it. At least for me it worked out.

I know, it costs some willpower but you´ll be strong enough to stand it. Believe me

xoxo

Anna-Maria

[Emily1996]

Sorry for being a Debbie downer, it's just been hanging on my mind like a noose for the last 2 weeks...

Good luck with your situation and coming out with your mom. I wish I had my own house and i was more independent too. It's ok not everyone has happy comings out

[madirocks]

I came out to my brother a couple of years ago. He's been very supportive, but he's still quite against surgery. Irony is that I found out after I began HRT that I'm intersex and that I'll eventually need surgery "down there" anyways. He's still quite against it though.

I've mentioned it of sorts to the rest of my family and my best friend and his family. Strangely my best friend and his mom aren't that supportive, but his dad is very much so. I'm quite successful, and they believe I have a lot of friends (I really don't) that think if I transition I'll lose it all! I'm still quite conflicted about how to come out to everybody else. But I know that I need to do what I feel is right. Depression is lame... 

[Emily1996]

I think there might be a category missing, "As soon as I decided to transition", I knew I was trance since 13 and that I wanted to be a girl since 5 but I did not decide to transition until 34 and that's when I told them

ADDED! XD

[Lady_Oracle]

Was 2 years part time when I came out to my parents.

[Eevee]

I told my parents as soon as I started seeking out doctors for treatment. I'd already made up my mind by that point, so I didn't care what they had to say. I just wanted to make sure they knew what I was doing in my life, even if they hated hearing it.

I told my brother long before that, because I still respect him. He and I talk about everything, so I wanted to hear what he thought about it before I ultimately made up my mind.

[Cheska]

I decided to transition on my 25th birthday and came out to my mum, younger brother and sister the following week and my dad a week after that. I still have my older siblings to tell, I don't know when I will though.