Ok so far I've been taking baby steps with the occasional leap, I live in tops and jeans and present andro at the moment. Right now I'm comfortable when
strangers call me sir or ma'am, (yet my heart jumps when I get called mam
for obvious reasons). When I need to replace objects in my life I'm going for the female equivalent (watches, glasses, sunnies ect). I've had some fantastic passes recently in person and over the phone, and I swear one of the girls where I have my hair done for the past few years a girl the past few times either to me or about me.
Today a friend and I where looking for an outfit for my sister's wedding, started in a expensive department store found something that shouldn't scream "you're wearing girls clothes" still looks good. Went in to the change room, talked to friend, modeled outfit for her then past other women as I left. Like I did this everyday NOT my first time. (I order online).Then went elsewhere and bought a great jacket, and while wasn't called ma'am there was not called sir.
So one would think transitioning is going well for me, ahh
WRONGWhen I got home today and put everything together I looked at myself and didn't recognize myself from last year. By the Elder Gods I was having trouble recognizing myself from August this year. This outfit while awesome and makes me wish for a 9-5 job, also screamed at me in the mirror that he is dying and while I knew he was never real. Others in my family believed the masquerade and I do have to tell them, and the excuse that they are 1400km north is starting to wear a little thin.
Now when I first told my mother this time around her response was
"You can't tell my family until I've dealt with this"
"What about {baby brother}"
"So what about your sister she has told everyone her brother is attending and your going to wear a dress"
"I will support you, but others won't" (I believe we have a nomination for backhanded comment of the year)
Well mother of mine. Pants and a jacket do not a dress make.
I haven't reached male fale yet but after the pass two months I'm getting very close. So that's two points for me
Now family: It is easy to say just talk to them but nobody in my family talks. Yells argues snarls yes, talks no. A brother, sister and father(d.) are not invited to the wedding, this shows how fun my family is
After mum's reaction and I calmed down a little, I thought I was going to be ok waiting until next year and telling people come hell or high water. (Yes I mentioned I was going to tell an aunt at a brother's wedding, but she couldn't come down). Now just looking at how I look its like, this would be ten times harder and easier if only my family would actually talk.
"What we have here is a failure to communicate, some men you just can't reach"
Will the stars be aligned and R'lyeh rise once again.
Cthulhu please take me now madness and all.
