Confused

[Mara]

Hello everyone,


So I don't know what is going on exactly. I am male assigned at birth, and I am either a feminine man, a third gender person, or a repressed/in-denial trans-woman. There is also the possibility that I am just crazy and a confused fetishist or something. Anyway, I experience social dysphoria and to a small extent body dysphoria. I have experienced moderate to severe depression since age 11 or so (I'm 24 now), and I've also had to deal with a great degree of social phobia. I will probably make a thread where I try to explain.

At this point, I am trying to figure out how I can accept myself and be happy since I don't accept myself and am miserable/anxious most of the time.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you all and hear your stories.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Hi Mara,

Welcome to our little family. Over 14339 members. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

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But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member.

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Janet  )O(

[Devlyn]

Hi Mara, nice to meet you! I'm near Boston. Labels are nice, but at the end of the day, you're just you, and that's fine. The short answer is that self acceptance is the first step. Until you accept yourself, you're not going to move forward. Once you do, the road is a lot smoother.  See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

[gennee]

Hi Mara and welcome to Susan's. Just find where you feel the most comfortable then go with it.
The label isn't important.

[helen2010]

Hi Mara

I think that many of us have felt like you do earlier in our journeys.  Understanding who you are takes time and some work.  Finding a great gender therapist, reading and joining online or local support groups will also help a lot.  Once I had been diagnosed as trans the relief was immense.  Just to learn that I wasn't broken, some sort of deviant, or fetishist was an enormous relief.  To find that my dysphoria could be addressed by hrt was a revelation. Getting to this point and then moving forward is your journey.  The only narrative that matters is yours.  It really is an exciting journey where you can set the direction and the pace.  You can pause, retrace your steps and change direction.  You have the controls and you can find and authentically express yourself.

Finally labels are a little like boxes.  Even if they are not blue or pink, they are still a box.  You are so much more than this.  Finding and expressing yourself is a transformative experience.  If you need a label, invent one.

I wish you well.

Safe travels

Aisla

[mrs izzy]

Welcome Mera to Susan's family.

Setting up a good support network of therapy and some one on one support is a great start.

There is one one size fits all, your life, your path.

Hugs