Ahh, I said it wrong, my pesky MTA perspective screwed it up... lol
For me E&AA's are making it easier to be open and have a more rich emotional life. So I was not writing to your situation correctly.
A little more on the friendship side, because I'll need to reference it to try and answer your question, and the barriers are real, and similar social rules apply to dealing with strangers, co-workers, and acquaintances as making new friends:
When dealing with cis-guys there is always a front until there is a decent level of friendship. It can be lowered from doing things in a group and mutual respect for each others skills and mutual love of a thing. That I think is why everyone is listing hobbies and interests. Socially share your love of things with others who like it too and build from there.
Making female friends is going to be trickier and since I am MAAB, I am not sure if I can answer that one for you. I am sure others here can. The female friends I have acquired over the years usually have been friends of friends that I met socially, I suspect the typical ways women make friends are going to work if they perceive you as a straight male. Only now that I have a wife and kids does it seem that I can get past the social barriers on that one, if I talk about my family it is clear that I have no interest in pursuing them, then I can have a real conversation with less difficulty. If you are in a relationship, having a couples night out can be a good way to meet new people.
Back to the question:
Yes. There are barriers and distance there. As a single guy, I do think it is harder.
I think people typically seek to help and interact with women, but are stand-offish with men till they figure out what they are about.
To other men you are now seen as a potential adversary or competition. An unknown and potential threat. This can be defused by showing you are not, starting a conversation based on shared interests, small talk of interests, sports, or whatever. Think wolf pack, you need to not be a lone wolf, you might need to do the human (verbal) equivalent of sniffing some butts, and provide the appropriate social cues to go from outsider to teammate/packmate.
To women you are assumed to be interested in them unless they know otherwise, and even a potential threat. Since many men will and do try all sorts of things to get attention from women, especially when it is not welcome for them to do so the barriers are *much* higher. Showing no sexual interest, making the non-verbal cues that make it clear that you are no form of threat, and being funny helps, but those defences are really high. I have usually had more luck making female friends either through other friends or couples stuff. since it sort of acts as a vetting process or otherwise removes the male-female dynamic on it. (A FTM can probably give you waaay better advice on this than I can...)
I have found since I have started HRT for my being MTA, that the natural shifts into being more feminine have helped me more easily interact with other people, not sure if it is non-verbal communication, pheromones, or just that I feel more comfortable and genuinely myself so I can put myself out there better...
In both cases having a good sense of humour helps allot. Small talk, joke, interesting story...
But yeah it is harder, and building that core network from scratch takes work, once you have one, throw parties, entertain, try and be a social hub if you can. I had to do this as a guy, and I am fairly introverted.
And with close friends you are still more expected to show strength and have your XXXX together and not be emotional. Though I am finding that to be less the case with my more LGBT/GQ friends, since they reject allot of the societally defined gender BS.
Socially it is a different skill set.
- Jaded Jade
