I therapist's main job is to prod you for your own self discovery and answers from yourself. If they gave you the answers you needed, why go through the therapy? Just let them tell you everything you need to do. I'm not really a good therapy patient because I tend to answer questions with questions and tend to prod a therapist as much as they prod me. A therapist is supposed to be a totally neutral party, non judging and so on. I would say there is not a therapist out there that deals with gender issues that don't know the terminology. Yes there are good therapist and bad therapist.
If anyone at all is worried about whether or not their therapists are knowledgeable or not, just ask to see their notes that they write. Those notes are your property and you have the right to read them.
They want you to answer, even your own questions. They may ask what does that mean and what does this mean. It doesn't mean they don't know themselves, it just means they want you to understand and when we say something aloud we tend to think about what we say more so than if we just think about it.
I would say, before or after a session if they have no client tight then and there, talk to them like a normal person. It will provide tremendous insight not so much to the "therapist" but to the actual person. I've had a therapist that did not talk before or after a session, Just come on back and let's get to it and after walk to the receptionist desk with me, ask when I wanted another appointment and write the check. No small talk whatsoever. The person seemed cold and really distant. I was a client, not a person. My therapist now makes time between appointments to talk to clients as people. I found I could open up way more and felt so much more comfortable letting them into my little world of thoughts. The cold one gave up on me. Said they couldn't help me anymore. That is a kick in the gut and kind of careless and dangerous in my opinion. But I couldn't feel I could let my guard down. This one now, I am totally at ease with and they never gave up even when I couldn't open up. And when we go through little things like what you went through with yours Stephanie, I get the same little run around, but... After the sessions since this one makes time between appointments for the person, well that sometimes is better than the therapy session itself. Or for people like me anyway. I'm way more comfortable in the waiting room sitting and talking without the therapist taking notes.
To me, that is the difference between a good therapist and a bad therapist. A good therapist that has a client that has some problem they have not run across before will do their homework after the session to learn about it. There is a plethora of information out there. This sight is one of them.
