My family don't want anything to do with me and its killing me

[Damara]

Hugs and much love to you, Kira!

[Shantel]

OMG OMG OMG!!!

It's like I myself wrote all the stuff you wrote, I am living almost exactly the very same thing!!!


To make matters worse, the shrink i see (or used to see that is) has just shunned me as well, when I asked him to only address me as a woman and ask his secretary to do the same as well... he is not a gender therapist, just a general practitioner chosen by my mother, and I've been seeing the guy for more than three years now, what a waste of time and money...

OK, I just wanted to tell you you are not alone hun, it seems our experiences with our families are very similar so if you need a friend please feel free to PM me when you feel down, specially if you feel lonely or down during Christmas time OK?

Lots of love

Bibi

Geeze Bibi you have to get out of that toxic environment sweetie!

[Mitchell the Deathbell]

I wish you all the strength, heart, and courage to make it through this tough time in your life. I too may be going through this soon as I've just recently came out to the rest of my family. My mom is in denial and refuses to acknowledge me as her son... soon my family on my dad's side will get the news through the grape vine.
We can do this, Kira.

[JulieBlair]

We can choose our family if we want to or need to.  I choose to have affirming people in my life and to allow the rest to find their own place in the sunshine.  Sometimes it hurts, often it is hard, but I have been forced to let people I desperately love to make the choice to not love me.  Of three siblings, one understands. Of a dozen cousins, half are friendly, none get it.  My wife would like to see me dead.

They are not my family.

My family includes a shaman, a singer of songs, lovers, people of the earth.  They all will celebrate with me, some in cyberspace, some in real space.  I try to bring the former into the latter whenever I can.  Sometimes when relationships blow up in my face my family is all that keeps me anything like sane.  Sometimes, I help them by loving them without preconditions.

My family is Tessa, and Jess, and Patty, and SJ, and Suzy, and a dozen more scattered around the globe.  My family is JR, and Eric, and Regina, Shan, and a dozen more here within arms reach.  My family is composed of people (and a few dogs) who have chosen love over biology, authenticity over artifice, acceptance over dogma.

My family is without limits and without bounds.  When my limitations and fears overwhelm me, they are here - always!  I love them and would give all I have to bring them joy.  They love me and share their strength and hope.  It makes me humble and grateful.

Kira, Bibi, you are welcome to join.

Julie

[Susan]

Kira you have to make a tough choice, live your life for them or live it for your self. Let them know if they want you in their lives they have no choice but to accept you, and be ready to carry it out if they say no. You will hate yourself if you don't.

[StevieAK]

Love yourself....be with ppl that want to be with you....forgive them because they just may not understand. Be happy as it will make ppl want to be with you. I lost my parents , sister and brother and all that knew old me but....Ive better friends now who are closer than they ever were.

[viktor_tokyo]

Kira, many hugs to you. That sucks so much. I wonder if your family even understands how much their actions are affecting you. And your sister, what the hell? Made me sort of angry to read how selfish she is... I haven't been cut off like you, but I got so tired of the guilt trips and unsupportive-ness of my family I had to distance myself to give myself strength to move on. Anyway I hope you grow a new support base. My gf's family is super supportive and is like a second family to me.

[katiej]

Kira, I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

Everyone here has given such great advice, I'll only add one thing.  It sounds like you want to stay in contact with them, so be sure that they know that.  Perhaps you could reach out to each one individually...even if just in a small way.  They may not come around anytime soon, but at least you'll know that you've done all you can do.  And perhaps they'll realize their mistake when they're together for the holidays but missing an important part of the family.

If you were in Seattle you'd be welcome to spend Christmas with me and my family. 

[PinkCloud]

I am all alone as well. I found out, working with the elderly, that sooner or later everyone will be alone. Even them. So time will catch up to them as well. It's best to get used to it sooner than later, because you can get used to it and live a happy life regardless.

[Alexis2107]

Hi,

Don't know if I can handle it day in and day out so I not told my parents, yet, about their new daughter.  Probably selfish of me but I will be states away when I tell them so I don't have to worry if I have to move or what not, will be taken care of and I wont have the emotional stress or lectures.  I am living for myself and my fiance', nobody else.  They can embrace me or lose me, either way, don't want to sound harsh, my feels wont be hurt.  I am 31 years old and since 18 made it this far, made it on my own, and can do it again if need be.  Only live with them so I can save save save but also because I had tragic medical issues this year that nearly left me dead twice.  I already told them next spring I am out and of course always getting the "awwwwwww you need to stay and live with your mom and dad because you've been sick" bs talk, um thanks but no thanks, already getting on my nerves... and those of you who moved out and then back in years later know what I am talking about lol.

Like I said, I don't mean to sound harsh about how I feel if they accept me or not, but like Susan said, it's your life.. not theirs.