Im noticing that the way men and women interact with me is not what I want...

[Shawn Sunshine]

So now that it has been 2 1/2 months fully on hrt, the way i perceive  situations or the way i feel I am being percieved is not what I was expecting and not what I wanted. For instance, being called BRO, by someone on the bus, or being asked to do a fist bump. Men interacting with me in a more aggressive way than women usually do, and finding it awkward. Part of me wants to tell them, "sorry I'm not really a bro, but I appreciate the welcoming gesture."

OR in the case of women. You see a group of girls on a bus, talking about things you would love to join in on. They stare at you nervoulsy, not sure what to think, because to them your a stranger and of course a GUY. So you interact with them because you just like to meet people. They laugh and say a few nice things, but return to the chatter that you so much wanted to be part of. But in some form or another your not allowed, or they just don't include you because they don't think you'd understand.



But its different on who you meet too, especially if they are LGBT or not. However I have already been shunned by a lesbian who did not think I was a woman so, there you go.


Your thoughts?? 

[kelly_aus]

I found it took 6 months to a year for people to start perceiving me the way I wanted.. I didn't quite look right and I still wasn't entirely comfortable and was lacking in confidence.. As my comfort level and confidence increased, I found I was more often accepted as who I was.. 

[ImagineKate]

Well, I work in NYC so there are all types there. I worked with a few gay guys, lesbians and I think one trans. We yuk it up anyway.

Live and let live?

I never got into "BRO!" ness with guys, except my local friends at the shooting range. Outside of that I'm extremely shy. But since coming out to myself I've started striking up conversations with people and I found that a little confidence goes a long way. I talk about girl stuff and kid stuff with women all the time. Celebrity gossip, fashion etc.

[kaye]

I remember the time you describe. I hated it. Absolutely hated it. Give it time, it will pass.

[Abby Claire]

People say things like, "You wouldn't understand cause you're a guy", but I just laugh at the comment in my head. I'm not presenting as female yet since I would never pass, so I mostly keep to myself and just smile at the thought, "If they only knew." I really don't have any interest in what other people want to talk about anyway, so I mostly keep to myself unless getting to know people more personally.

[stephaniec]

I had a nice conversation at Target today with a woman in her 80's. she had seen the dress I bought and asked if I had trouble with finding good fit. we also talked about Target. I've been on HRT a year.

[Juliett]

Changing these interactions is one of the many benefits of transition, which you are pursuing. I guess I don't really see your point, we all hate being called bro.

[PinkCloud]

If you're honest, what did you expect at 2 months?

Took well over a year and a half before the clocking went down to once a week, whereas 6 months being clocked 3 times a week, and when I just started I was being clocked daily. For me, the hormones started to show visible results between 3-6 months. 5 years later, I get barely clocked, or people are more nice, not sure. The only ones that blatantly clocked me are children. 

[Ms Grace]

You're still presenting as male, yes? Unfortunately cis gendered society expects you present as female to be treated as/accepted as female. That may change at some point in the future but at the moment you will need to either wait for the HRT to do its thing or make some obvious changes to your presentation (clothes, shoes, hair, body/facial hair etc). Even people who knew I was trans continued to treat me as male before I started presenting full time as female.

[Shawn Sunshine]

No you guys missed my point I think, what I was saying is that before I started HRT, this for some reason didnt bother me, but all of the sudden now, I feel like i want different interactions with people, while still getting the same usual reactions. But This is San Francisco, and I have actually found people like me who are two spirit and also transgender. So its good, just ...theres a part of me really looking forward to the day when women and I see more eye to eye. But then of course that tradeoff comes with maybe not such a pleasant interaction with some men.