Hair in the awkward stage: cut it or not?

[Emily1996]

Don't cut them you will regret it. It takes years to grow out. It's just a lot of work. I don't know where u live but it's october the heat will eventually end lol.

[BreezyB]

I'm growing mine out at the moment and yes, it's in a bit of an awkward stage, but I looked for some short femme styles and just style it that way. It's a must to have a good hair care regime.

• Dont wet it everyday
• Wash it twice a week
• Use good shampoo and conditioner, I use morrocan oil
• Blowdry it
• If it's curly, straighten using a straightening iron. GHD mini is great for short hair

If I don't do this, my hair is a nightmare to tame. But I fnd it quite manageable during these difficult months. Takes a bit of effort but well worth it. I have wavy hair and I can get it perfectly straight without any product and stays straight all day.
Good luck, I know it's hard but I wouldn't cut it, I think you might regret it.

Also for curly hair, check out http://www.naturallycurly.com

[LordKAT]

Blow drying and the iron is very bad for hair.

[Jess42]

Blow drying and the iron is very bad for hair.

Most definitely. If it is curly the humidity will mess with it really bad. Mine looks pretty good when I let it do what it wants to do. If I blowdry it or straighten it with an iron, it just gets way to dry. Besides talk about work. And if one drop of rain hits it or it turns real humid, then you will have a mixed matched mess. Curly hair looks and feels a lot better when you let it dry naturally. Use antifrizz products, a little gel and then when that dries smooth it out and soften it up with you hands. It's actually less work than straight hair. You don't have to brush it even on windy days, just fix it roughly with your fingers.

[BreezyB]

Blow drying and the iron is very bad for hair.

Better than chemical straightening at least. Unless there's another straightening technique I'm missing. I use a morrocan oil creme that helps to protect the hair from heat damage and my hair is healthy as.

[Lady_Oracle]

Yep as long as you use a heat protector for your hair and don't flat iron everyday, your hair will be fine.

[Jessica Merriman]

Thanks for the "stick it out" advice.  I was just about to get it snipped off this afternoon, and remembering how miserable I was the last time it was cut and the haircutter cut too much off, I'm sure I'd have regretted it afterwards.

Steady as she goes.  Good advice for everything related to transition.

WHEW! Girl you scared me earlier. I thought this may require an intervention. Glad you kept it! 

[Allyda]

Hi Brenda.

The last time my hair was short was in 1991 before my accident. I hated it short too believe me. I have a small face and head and I look ridiculously unproportioned without my hair, lol. However since then I have had it cut sometimes to shoulder length. This is my hair's first awkward stage. It has several in between there and where it is now as is reflected in my Avatar. Even as long as it is now, it gets in my mouth, get's caught in my armpits, bra straps, and sometimes even my booby cleavage, lol!

Almost every time I sit down to eat I gotta pull a strand or two out of my mouth. When changing it get's caught in my bra, and booby's, bra band strap in the back, etc., etc., etc. You'd think with all this trouble I'd get it cut. But even with all of the difficulty, I wouldn't trade one inch of it, and plan to let it grow longer. You'll get used to the difficulties believe me. And once you find the correct hair care products for your hair type you'll have less trouble styling it too.

To be truthful, every time my hair gets caught in my bra, my boobys, and even when it gets in my mouth I get a wonderful warm feeling of femininity that is hard to put into words. It's so long now I gotta braid it when I take my boat out to avoid tangles. When I take the braid out I get that slight tight killer wave look for about 12 hours. There's a lot you can do with longer hair. And just having it long is a boost to our femininity.

So as others have said; put those scissors down hun, don't wash it every day, only about 2 or 3 times a week, and experiment with hair care products until you find those that work best for you, or ask a stylist which would be best for your hair type, and let her grow hun. You won't regret it!

(tip: a good leave in conditioner works wonders for even the most difficult hair types. I recommend Aussie's Hair Insurance leave in conditioner.).

Ally

[carrie359]

I cut my hair back in April in a meltdown when I decided to be a dude.. three days later back on Estrogen......have not cut since.. I am in that awkward time too..
My hair is actually in front over my eyes now.. and way over my ears.. I just dry it straight.. I have curly hair too... then pull over my ears...which makes me look fem for some reason.
I know you dont plan on cutting it.. now.. maybe you could get it styled a bit..
I am going in next week for highlights but no length taken.. I have what would be called dark blond.. so I want light blond highlights.. my wife did it for me a couple months ago and it looks ok.. but I want it done by a professional this time..
Anyway.. glad u did not cut it.... I know what your are going through....
Carrie

[Eva Marie]

I'm also in that awkward stage where its long enough to be a pain but not long enough to do anything with. When I went to my hairdresser for my very last boy haircut she refused to cut it (she knows i'm trans) and she fiddled with it and eventually settled on a "greaser" look with it slicked back that I sported until I came out. Now it's wig time until I get enough to go without a wig.

My advice - don't cut it, stick it out until it gets longer.

A hairband is a must have at this stage or your hair is always in your face.

[Brenda E]

Ok, so a follow-up question...

Job Interviews: How to Hide Out-of-Control Hair?

Any thoughts on this?  A sensible trim to tidy up the scruffy bits?  Leave it as is and hope for the best?  Revert to a male style in order to give myself the best chance possible of employment?

[BreezyB]

Ok, so a follow-up question...

Job Interviews: How to Hide Out-of-Control Hair?

Any thoughts on this?  A sensible trim to tidy up the scruffy bits?  Leave it as is and hope for the best?  Revert to a male style in order to give myself the best chance possible of employment?

Personally I would get a hydrating treatment at a salon or just use a hydrating treatment at home. Some thing like the hydrating mask from Morrocan Oil is good for curly out of control hair.  http://www.moroccanoil.com/australia/h_au_en/intense-hydrating-mask

I would put a styling creme through whilst wet then Blowdry whilst pulling the hair taught using a small radial brush. It's hard on short hair but if the radial brush is small enough it's possible. The creme will protect the hair and the heat will tame it a little. I would then use a straightening iron.

http://www.moroccanoil.com/australia/h_au_en/hydrating-styling-cream

The result will be hair that is straight and able to be styled in a number of ways. Such as;

http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/img/5519/Alicia/974m.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.zimbio.com/New%2BShort%2BHairstyles/articles/5/New%2BShort%2BHairstyles%2BAndrogyny%2BAgyness%2BDeyn&h=231&w=191&tbnid=pImqeMb7DzzGNM:&zoom=1&docid=zedtWCKLUxzQKM&ei=SM0_VK_vIIa48gXewIGABg&tbm=isch&ved=0CDAQMygTMBM

http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://hairstylespopular.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/short-hairstyles-for-women.jpg&imgrefurl=http://hairstylespopular.com/short-hairstyles-for-women/&h=675&w=500&tbnid=NheCQA3CmIkgHM:&zoom=1&docid=WjSxxIb_SJYkmM&ei=SM0_VK_vIIa48gXewIGABg&tbm=isch&ved=0CCwQMygPMA8

http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://lh4.ggpht.com/_hI4LSw6_poU/S2XQKbyl3zI/AAAAAAAABuc/AOEFTzNB1fc/Short-Funky-Hairstyles%252520(1).jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.fashioncraz.com/page/2/?s%3Dshort%2Bhair%2Bstyles&h=393&w=334&tbnid=mjnudzfr2IWaIM:&zoom=1&docid=E_xvMPaE9B1_VM&ei=SM0_VK_vIIa48gXewIGABg&tbm=isch&ved=0CCYQMygJMAk


As someone pointed out before though, key to heat styling is make sure you protect the hair. Also look after it!

[Brenda E]

I do like those styles, BreezyB.  That's about how long my hair is now, give or take.  Except very curly.  And graying.  And a bit bald at the front.  Like this picture of Jude Law: http://www.moviecricket.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/gallery_main-jude-law-bald-head-06.jpg.  Except uglier too.  And broke.  And fatter.

Now I hate myself again.

[Jess42]

I do like those styles, BreezyB.  That's about how long my hair is now, give or take.  Except very curly.  And graying.  And a bit bald at the front.  Like this picture of Jude Law: http://www.moviecricket.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/gallery_main-jude-law-bald-head-06.jpg.  Except uglier too.  And broke.  And fatter.

Now I hate myself again.

Well Hollywood magic makes some people look better than the everyday janes and joes. Curly, do like the Beatles said and let it be. I have tried everything and love the sleek look but I can't pull it off. I even tried chemical. I have tried straight irons, I have tried blow drying it and none has worked. Curly looks the bets and healthiest for my hair type. Not to mention the compliments I get from cis women, and even question of how I get it like it is. When I tell them it is natural, it kind of blows their mind.

Not more than two hours ago I had a twenty minute conversation with a ciswoman about my hair. But the old saying that girls with straight hair want curly hair and the girls with curly hair want straight hair is true. I don't want straight hair. I love my curly hair. Not to mention the femininity it adds naturally. Don't try bangs unless you want to look straight from the eighties but just let it grow. To have bangs you will have to straighten them to make them look somewhat close to being right and the rest curly?

Go talk to your doctor about the front and possible thinning. There are also herbal treatments that will make hair healthy. Saw palmetto, cold area fish oils and such or anything that may boost keratin. This is not self medication but adding different herbs as dietary supplements is not a bad idea. Never take more than the label says especially if it is a condensed type of supplement. There is a reason why some of these herbs have been used by indigenous people throughout history. Willow bark is one of the biggest. I remember something not too long ago about feces being in some of the herbal supplements but the FDA allows a certain amount to, let's just say roach parts and mouse feces into chocolate coming from the Hershey's plant in Pa.

Don't hate yourself Brenda. Do you know how many women have alopecia? I don't really know but it is on youtube and quite a bit so women do have pattern baldness or alopecia, high foreheads (Virginia Madson for one and she is a beauty), the "M" hairline pattern and so on. So stop all the hating on yourself, talk to your GP and it does seem like bald women are a thing on youtube and they have to either wear wigs or if brave enough go around proudly as being bald. Hair don't make the woman. The Psyche does.

[Julia-Madrid]

Hey Brenda

If it's at a silly length, you've got a few options, but DON'T CUT IT....!!

For interviews, work and whatever in boy mode,  gel it and brush it back.  If there's enough for a tiny pony-tail, do that too.  I'm not saying that it's a fantastic look, but it works.

This exact same approach also works well if you wear a wig.  I was not going to wait 2 years to transition.  I did it after just 4 months, so that pretty hair you currently see in my avatar is fake.  It will do for the 2 years that mine needs to grow, and also will allow me to hide the hair transplant until there's enough to show.  Gelling your hair back really makes wiggy life easier.

xxx
J

[♥︎ SarahD ♥︎]

My advice as a girl who's had many different hair lengths over the years (even as a guy):

A) Go to a proper hair stylist.  Someone who knows what they're doing.  I.e. not one of the "cheap shops".  With hairstyles, it's my experiance that you get what you pay for

B) Tell them that you intend to grow it long, and even mention that you want to look more feminine (you don't have to tell them you're trans*, just tell them you prefer a more feminine look).  If you can find a pic of the hair style you're ultimately aiming for, it will help explain

C) After explaining what your aim is, ask them to trim it.  It will take a little off of course, but tell them to keep it as long as possible.  The aim is to get rid of split ends etc while not setting yourself back too much.  By explaining you goal in the previous step, thy will (if they're worth their salt as a stylist) give it some shape to help it grow out the way you want it.

D) Let it grow out more, and book another "tidy up" appointment with the same stylist (same place, preferably same person if you can) around about the time it starts noticeably fraying at the ends again.

Hope that helps babe   Obviously doing this will take a little longer than if you just let it grow wild, but it will keep it looking reasonable as you go along

♥︎*Hugs*♥︎

[Michelle G]

The last time I cut my hair was December 2011, I earned the length it is now

Just hang in there! the awkward stage is just that and sometimes unbearable, but it will get better...trust me.

Awkward!!!


Much Better, taken last week,

[Jess42]

My advice as a girl who's had many different hair lengths over the years (even as a guy):

A) Go to a proper hair stylist.  Someone who knows what they're doing.  I.e. not one of the "cheap shops".  With hairstyles, it's my experiance that you get what you pay for

[

If I can add one thing, and I will say I had a cis girl tell me this a log time ago. Find a gay guy that is a hairstylist. I should have listened to her. That is all I am going to say. It may be different now but I have never tempted fate again. My hair guy is gay and we go back and forth but he always does me really with my hair.

But yeah, stay away from the "Cheap cuts". They are learning still and you would be better off going to a cosmetology school, at least they are trying to get a good grade.

[Michelle G]

Yep, you can bet when I DO get my hair trimmed or cut next I am going to spend what ever it takes to get it perfect

[BreezyB]

I do like those styles, BreezyB.  That's about how long my hair is now, give or take.  Except very curly.  And graying.  And a bit bald at the front.  Like this picture of Jude Law: http://www.moviecricket.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/gallery_main-jude-law-bald-head-06.jpg.  Except uglier too.  And broke.  And fatter.

Now I hate myself again.

Don't hate yourslf Brenda, it's amazing what you can do. Start with some colour to cover the grey. Then a really good home treatment for hair is olive oil. Put it through your hair, just a little, same as if you were using a hair treatment oil. Stick to the middle and ends of the hair, avoid the roots so it doesn't get too oily. Also look into why hair is curly and it helps a lot in knowing how to tame it. So all the methods such as chemical and heat work to break the proteins down in the hair. There are some new treatments available from the salon which don't exactly straighten hair, but more relax hair. It lasts 3-4 months and helps a lot. Now with the front, I would look to grow the fringe if you can. It does take some time, I haven't cut my hair in like four months but it's still short so it dos take a while, just be patient. But DONT CUT IT PLEASE! 

My advice as a girl who's had many different hair lengths over the years (even as a guy):

A) Go to a proper hair stylist.  Someone who knows what they're doing.  I.e. not one of the "cheap shops".  With hairstyles, it's my experiance that you get what you pay for

B) Tell them that you intend to grow it long, and even mention that you want to look more feminine (you don't have to tell them you're trans*, just tell them you prefer a more feminine look).  If you can find a pic of the hair style you're ultimately aiming for, it will help explain

C) After explaining what your aim is, ask them to trim it.  It will take a little off of course, but tell them to keep it as long as possible.  The aim is to get rid of split ends etc while not setting yourself back too much.  By explaining you goal in the previous step, thy will (if they're worth their salt as a stylist) give it some shape to help it grow out the way you want it.

D) Let it grow out more, and book another "tidy up" appointment with the same stylist (same place, preferably same person if you can) around about the time it starts noticeably fraying at the ends again.

Hope that helps babe   Obviously doing this will take a little longer than if you just let it grow wild, but it will keep it looking reasonable as you go along

♥︎*Hugs*♥︎

Excellent advice Kira. I did just this. Told my hair dresser I wanted to grow it out, showed her a pic of an androgynous hair cut on a girl and without saying anymore to her she got that I'm growing it long and in a femme style. Along the way though, I have short androgynous styles I'm able to do. The back is getting a little bit of a pain but apart from that it's very manageable. Mind you I spend a little time on it each morning