Am I the only one who does this or is this something we all (or most/some) do?

[Shana-chan]

When I'm at home, I use my male voice, I don't typically use my female voice, same with when I'm around those that I know but when out in town or making calls to those who don't know me, I use my female voice. So, my question is, Am I the only one who does this or is this something we all (or most/some) do?

[Alice Rogers]

I used to do that, but my voice therapist told me off, she said my speech muscles will never adjust to a full time female voice properly until I speak in that range all the time. Also I needed it to become habit to be in female range all the time so I don't slip any time.

I suppose if your female voice come naturally you wouldn't have my problem though.

Alice
xx

[Ms Grace]

Yeah, I'm a bit naughty too. But I live solo so sits not like I do much talking at home anyway (except for, y'know, where I'm talking to myself!). I know I should make the effort, but I use my voice so much at work it's sometimes a relief to just drop it for the evening. It's a bit of an interesting psychology at work as I don't feel any less female when I use that voice at home, even though I'd never pass if I used it in public.

[AdamMLP]

I know it's quite a bit different for us guys as we don't normally have speech therapy, but as a guy who's pre-HRT so still has a naturally higher voice I find that I speak differently at home and about.  My girlfriend has commented on it a few times, and I can hear it myself, although I'm not aware of making any conscious change as I'm doing it.  At work and around people I'm not comfortable with (basically everyone except my girlfriend and a good friend who's helped me through my transition thus far) I speak in a more masculine manner, but with my partner and friend I seem to relax and my voice can slip higher and less monotone.

Perhaps we know we're seen as ourselves around the people we trust and know, and aren't trying to ensure that we're seen as us so much, even if it's on a subconscious level.

[Amy The Bookworm]

*sigh* I wish I could use my female voice at home. But for the most part I only use it in therapy or in the evening after my daughter has gone to bed while playing Massive multiplayer online games, because I haven't told my daughter yet (That's next month's project).

I'm not ready to use it in public either, because I only just started HRT (which reminds me... been on it for about a week now. Hasn't done much physically that I've noticed yet ... but I feel very calm!).

[Mariah]

I get in the habit of using the mail voice at home and I shouldn't. When I think about it I make sure I use the female voice at home, but as soon as I stop concentrating on it I slip up. Something I need to put a stop to, but I know it will happen when the time is right.
Mariah

[suzifrommd]

When I first found it, I loved my female voice so much I used it every chance I've got. Now that I'm fulltime, I use it exclusively, but I test out my male voice once a week or so to make sure I still have it if I need it.

[Releca]

I keep practicing my female voice in private and use my male voice in most situations but since I work in a call center where most of the time people forget who I am after 30 seconds it gives me plenty of chances to practice.  It's also one of my guilty pleasures.

When I'm at home, I use my male voice, I don't typically use my female voice, same with when I'm around those that I know but when out in town or making calls to those who don't know me, I use my female voice. So, my question is, Am I the only one who does this or is this something we all (or most/some) do?

At your point in vocal training if you are going full time then your voice should as well. Just my belief but I think you should change voices as much as you change genders. Then again I haven't started to transition yet and I sound female 50% of the time.

[Jenna Marie]

The one major compromise my wife requested of me in my entire transition was that I keep my old voice at home for her, and as it didn't bother me (and I owed her *so* much for otherwise going along with everything I needed), I did so.

I've noticed that somewhere in the last year or so even that home voice has mostly lost the male resonance and inflections, and I just can't do it anymore, but I do still relax back into my natural lower pitch. Part of it is, admittedly, that I'm lucky enough to have a naturally higher pitched voice anyway; still light tenor, but it's not as dramatic for my vocal chords as going back to bass would be, I imagine.

I never had a problem switching back and forth, and around other people I even scream/yelp/sneeze in my female voice, so it hasn't caused any issues for me. I look at it now more or less the way lxnder does, that when I'm alone or with my wife I can relax a lot more. (My wife also doesn't put as much effort into sounding "animated" and therefore feminine at home as she does in public, either; we're both introverts who like to stop performing at home, what can I say.)

[Shana-chan]

Interesting. I did not expect these to be people's responses. So, this is normal for us then? When I'm using my male voice, more so at home I typically don't hear a male voice (Though it is) so it doesn't bother me at all though sometimes I hear the male voice and from there it's a 50/50 for it does and doesn't bother me.

Does using your old voice bother you and are you able to hear the gender voice it is usually?

The way I feel regarding my voice is that, when I'm around those I know I shouldn't have to use my female voice as they should accept me as I am even with my male voice, thus for that and other reasons which I listed below, I don't like using my female voice usually around those people. Also, when I'm out in public, using my male voice always bothers me but not my female voice and around those I know neither bother me but using the female voice is a pain for me and, I don't know, hard to explain really.

[Delsorou]

Yeah, not just you, I do this as well.  Not really intentionally - I'll just catch myself doing it sometimes.

Where it gets really bad is when I go over to my mom's house.  I slip out all the time around her.  It's really kind of aggravating.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Nah. I never do that. Screw that. Once I got my tonsils out, I got to work on getting my voice sorted out. I used it all the time and I didn't care about what anyone's reaction was to it. A few family members whined about it. But I told them to go screw themselves and I'm going to do what I damn well please. I never saw the sense of switching back and forth between voices once you got the other one down.

[Tessa James]

My voice is a source of internal conflict for me.  I have had some speech therapy but find I am not working the program or remembering to use the techniques to maintain a more feminine voice.  Part of my thinking has to do with my age and life experience.  Living previously as a male for over 50 years is part of that.  I want to feel and be as true and authentically myself as possible.  I am non binary and voice may be part of that as my goals are less certain and my destination unknown.  I am honestly happy to be known as transgender as it is the only way to make sense of my life.  And then I have had the experience of seeing myself in videos where my voice does not match my presentation and it feels a bit discordant even to me.  I have met gorgeous MtF folks who had a voice that is the least passable part of their presentation.  We have plenty of threads dedicated to voice here at Susan's because it is a big deal.  Voice is more than the sounds our vocal cords and larynx create.  It can also be part of our identity and projection of power and emotion.

I guess we reach that place where and when we make choices about what is important to work on in our transition and passable is not as important for me as being true to my self.  I felt like a fake guy for way too long and really wish to avoid feeling like a fake girl now.  I will probably continue to make some effort to speak in those higher ranges but the internal debate goes on.  I appreciate the conversation but can you tell if I am whispering?

[Jill F]

I haven't even attempted to use a male voice in well over a year.  I have a female voice now.  Unfortunately it sounds like Bea Arthur.  Oh well, better than James Earl Jones...

[Gothic Dandy]

I'm in the opposite direction. I've been using voice exercises to try and deepen my voice a little bit naturally, and I try to use my "guy voice" at home and when alone and anytime I can possibly practice. I don't necessarily want to use it all the time in public, but I'm really anxious to find my chest voice at all, since my voice is pretty high to begin with. I've been told I sound like an anime character. Even before I knew I was trans, I hated it, because I want to sound like an adult, dammit.

[Ali girl]

I on the other hand have had issues finding a female voice.  I have softened my tone so as to be not as gruff or forthcoming.  But can't seem to find the range.  That is ok to me though...  Voice isn't my most major issue. 

I sneeze like a girl...  But coughing and laughing...  I have no chance.  Lol

[makipu]

I do this. I speak in a softer voice with my family and the people who knew me (pre-T) and speak normally (not trying to be lower than usual but still low naturally from taking T) when talking to strangers for the first time. I also talk in a high pitched voice (like a baby talk) but my voice cracks more often. I am stuck in the middle anyways since stopping hormones so it might as well be fun and funny to test all sort of possibilities.

[Taka]

i relax more at home, something which often makes my voice drop into a deeper range...
outside, i can get really high pitched if i forget myself or talk too must to women.

but i never try to be anything in particular at all. just observing how weird my default voices are.

[Sandy74]

I can't even imagine having a female voice or how I would go about working on it so I would have one. Perhaps someday I will but I think that I will always have my voice, yet its cool that some of you can do that and I look up to you for it.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

I sneeze like a girl...  But coughing and laughing...  I have no chance.  Lol

Sure ya do.

It can be done. It's something that will happen naturally once you get the voice down. That's been my experience anyway.