Deleted myself out

[Newgirl Dani]

The one time I really needed people I remained alone.  That old pic of me was so hard to post.  Anyway ->-bleeped-<- this, I'm gone.  Deleted all my posts, that hurt the most it was like deleting my new life, the ones I could see through tears anyway.

[Jessica Merriman]

Huh? What's up girl? 

[Devlyn]

Big hug! I'm not sure what you're referring to either.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Pikachu]

What's wrong, sweetheart? *hugs you tight*

[mrs izzy]

  But here is a hug.

[Jessica Merriman]

Um, you got Izzy, Devlyn and Pikachu on you now. I would respond myself! 

Don't you make me let Sephirah loose! 

[Jessica Merriman]

Um sorry Dani. The account deletion is not going through until you let us know what is going on. Sorry

[Ms Grace]

Now you've gone and made me use my confused sad face...

Let us know what's up. Hugs.

[Jessica Merriman]

Anybody have any ideas where this came from? 

[Pikachu]

I'm just taking a shot in the dark here based on the few clues in your message, but if you're upset because you think you can't successfully transition and you just feel like there's no point in going through with it, I promise you that's not true, sweetie. I'm sure you can transition and be a happy and beautiful woman. Please don't get discouraged. *gently takes your hand and gives it a comforting squeeze*

[Mariah]

Dani, what is wrong? Hugs
Mariah


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[mrs izzy]

I was one who seen your pictures and as Pikachu said you can transition I feel with very little troubles socially.

Question is personally is the issue?

We are here, so hang in
Hugs

[Mark3]

I too saw your pictures earlier, I thought you were doing well.?
The pics looked good, showed before and currently you in transition.
Im sorry I didnt post support, I should have. 

[Sephirah]

Don't you make me let Sephirah loose! 

Sweetie, I know how hard it is to feel vulnerable. I have a feeling I know what this is in reference to. And I'm so sorry you felt that there was no one there when you needed them.

You're not alone, okay? Even if people don't immediately say it, there are those who care about you and want the best for you. There's a lot going on here. A lot of emotion each person is dealing with, and fighting through. That sometimes makes it hard to see when someone else is crying out for that hand to reach out and tell them it's going to be okay.

That doesn't mean no one wants to, though, And that no one cares. It really doesn't. Sometimes, there's just a delay while folks battle their own demons, or sort their own issues out. Sometimes, you just have to be patient, hon, and know that there are folks who are all fighting the same internal battle with themselves.

Please, stick around. From what I've seen, you're already living that new life, you're starting to be yourself and show your innermost feelings. That's a good thing, sweetie. Keep going.

*extra huge hug*

[stephaniec]

this is a nice  place to hang around.  please let us know  the problem

[Newgirl Dani]

OK here goes.  After spending the last hour partially tearful (I cant seem to cry yet)  although on the inside COMPLETELY messed up, I decided to come back for one last check.  Saw ALL the posts and reactivated my account.

This is what happened.  Some time ago I was so thrilled to read all the posts when someone would put up a before and semi after pic.  Well I finally got the nerve to do this myself even if it was not alot of change, the makeup etc, but it still meant the world to me.  A few days went by and no replies, another few days go by and still nothing.  After a week or so it finally slipped onto the next page.  I kind of got a little desperate, thinking well 'maybe' for whatever reason something wasnt going right so I kind of swallowed my pride and replied to my own post to bump it back to page one.  Same thing, so I deleted it.

That was awhile back but yesterday I was so excited because I took all new pics and felt really really good about them.  Now I know 3 1/2 months is just a drop in the bucket but I was kind on top of the world about what I 'thought ' I saw.  So I posted them. I got two replies 'thank you both sooooo much'  but without downgrading the remarks I was waiting for any comments about a change in looks.  Then today I check back and no change....none.  I decide to reply to my own post once more and include a pic of me that I REALLY did not want to look at because of the look in those eyes.  I have only had two pics taken of me in the last 40+ years and now they were both up for all to see along with the ones I felt so good about.    Nothing

I dont believe myself to be so fragile that my entire self view depends on others positive remarks but those two situations I guess was just too much for me and I kind of collapsed inward.  I started deleting all the topics I had started, I got more and more tearful as each one was gone as they were my record of each amazing step I've taken on the path towards my new life and to delete them almost felt like I was undoing it all.  The momentum though at that point could not be stopped.

Well there it is, but no matter what I feel, I'm back.  Dani

[suzifrommd]

Dani, you know you're beautiful (you're a woman, and merely being female carries with it indescribable beauty).

Seeking validation from other people, while it feels good (if they cooperate), often sets us up for disappointment and frustration. You're a beautiful, special, sensitive person, unique and valuable. Nothing that anyone says or does not say in response to your pictures will change that.

Can you keep that in mind?

[Sephirah]

Dani, sometimes people don't respond to picture threads because they either don't know what to say, or don't want to risk saying anything that would either make someone feel bad about themselves, or feel like they were being told what they wanted to hear. Please don't take that as a reflection of no one caring or no one wanting to say anything.

It took a lot of courage to post your pictures here. Something I don't have, I'll be honest with you. Only a couple of people have ever seen what I look like (and those were taken several years ago), so let me tell you that you're already a braver woman than I. By quite a long way.

I am so glad you decided to stay though, sweetie. And again, I am very, very sorry that you didn't get the response that you were hoping for. Please, please don't think that means people don't care. We do.

*superhug*

[Pikachu]

OK here goes.  After spending the last hour partially tearful (I cant seem to cry yet)  although on the inside COMPLETELY messed up, I decided to come back for one last check.  Saw ALL the posts and reactivated my account.

This is what happened.  Some time ago I was so thrilled to read all the posts when someone would put up a before and semi after pic.  Well I finally got the nerve to do this myself even if it was not alot of change, the makeup etc, but it still meant the world to me.  A few days went by and no replies, another few days go by and still nothing.  After a week or so it finally slipped onto the next page.  I kind of got a little desperate, thinking well 'maybe' for whatever reason something wasnt going right so I kind of swallowed my pride and replied to my own post to bump it back to page one.  Same thing, so I deleted it.

That was awhile back but yesterday I was so excited because I took all new pics and felt really really good about them.  Now I know 3 1/2 months is just a drop in the bucket but I was kind on top of the world about what I 'thought ' I saw.  So I posted them. I got two replies 'thank you both sooooo much'  but without downgrading the remarks I was waiting for any comments about a change in looks.  Then today I check back and no change....none.  I decide to reply to my own post once more and include a pic of me that I REALLY did not want to look at because of the look in those eyes.  I have only had two pics taken of me in the last 40+ years and now they were both up for all to see along with the ones I felt so good about.    Nothing

I dont believe myself to be so fragile that my entire self view depends on others positive remarks but those two situations I guess was just too much for me and I kind of collapsed inward.  I started deleting all the topics I had started, I got more and more tearful as each one was gone as they were my record of each amazing step I've taken on the path towards my new life and to delete them almost felt like I was undoing it all.  The momentum though at that point could not be stopped.

Well there it is, but no matter what I feel, I'm back.  Dani

*hugs you tightly*

Sweetie, I didn't see your pictures, or I would have commented on them. I almost never look at the picture threads. They tend to depress me, seeing how much progress everyone else is making in comparison to my own. But I'm sure you looked beautiful. Please don't think there's anything wrong because people don't reply.

I'm so, so glad you decided to stay.

[Devlyn]

Glad you're back! For what it's worth, they chased me out of a picture thread because I wasn't planning on transitioning. They're a fickle group in those threads.

Hugs, Devlyn