Living in real time

[Dandy Dunker]

I know that this a place where everyone can talk about their accomplishments and information,  feelings (fear, depression, excitement ) but when your off the forum do you still think about being trans when you're well into transition is that still on your mind when your living life?, or is it the same as pre t?

[Brandon]

I am pre T and don't really think about it that much because I am treated so normal, It could depend on how far you are into transitiin or how well you are treated or supported.

[wheat thins are delicious]

It's going to be something you are going to think about at times no matter what.  There will always be some situation that will make it hit you.  I can go for a long time without thinking about it in a way other than "my body is not conventionally male" but then there are things that will trigger me to think about it more in depth.  I think that the fact that our bodies are different and function so differently from cis males (even after surgeries and all that) that it's hard to completely forget it. 

[Ayden]

For me, personally, I've said that its just an aspect of my life many times. After  three years (almost) of t and too surgery it's just another facet, like the fact that i grew up in a primarily single parent household. think about it in some situations but it isn't a driving force in my life. YMMV and all that. I think it's something that everyone deals with differently. The things that make me think about it are weird though, I will say that. Like the fact that there's a popular bike brand here called "MEGATRANS".

[Kreuzfidel]

I don't think about "being trans" anywhere near the same amount as I did pre-everything.  It just rarely ever pops into my mind unless I'm confronted with seeing/feeling my lower half really - or times when the subject of kids comes up.

[perrystephens]

It's on my mind a lot but mostly because I'm still at the stage of figuring out what exactly I identify as and so I still haven't come out. So there's still thinking of what I will say if anyone finds my accounts on websites with male names, or how to bind safely without anyone knowing, and thinking about the philosophy of what gender really is and how it applies to me, and thinking about ways to come out, etc. So gender's on my mind a lot, but  once I'm older and have everything figured out and I'm out to everyone who needs to know, I don't think it will be important at all or even something I think about.

[Jeatyn]

For me personally the "turning point" of being able to live my life and barely think about being trans was when I got top surgery.

Being on T and living full time way before that did help immensely but once I was recovered from surgery that's when I really felt completely free. I could never fully relax and settle into life before.

I'm currently recovering from hysto so it's back to being on my mind again for the time being I have no doubt it'll come up from time to time in the future, but as long as nobody else brings it up in some way I can't see myself thinking about it.

[invisiblemonsters]

i think when you're pre-t or haven't had surgeries, name change, w/e, it is gonna be on your mind a lot. that is because there's things CONSTANTLY reminding you of it. wearing a binder, packing, sitting while peeing even. being constantly aware of how your body/chest looks in certain clothing. even getting your t shots can be a reminder of it where you have to think about it often. i passed before t but i still thought about it a lot because it wasn't even about passing (some of it was) but it was along the lines of "what next? when do i get to start t?" etc. being on t and about to book my top surgery appointment, i don't think about it as much. i have my worries of my chest still in certain clothing, little things like that but besides that i don't think of it nearly as much as i used to except when it comes to things where i need to use my birth name (no name change yet) because then it's like uuuugh.

[blink]

Already done name change, top surgery, ~6 months on T with a good amount of changes. This crap is still on my mind several times a day, but there's a difference between thinking about or being aware of something, even being a little bothered, and being completely miserable. I'm almost always in a good mood these days and a good mood was virtually impossible before.

The big issues for me now are bottom dysphoria, and paranoia about not being read as male (likely is just paranoia at this point, but being misread for so long has done a number on my brain) or being outed. Having to inject my T doesn't bother me.

[Brandon]

i think when you're pre-t or haven't had surgeries, name change, w/e, it is gonna be on your mind a lot. that is because there's things CONSTANTLY reminding you of it. wearing a binder, packing, sitting while peeing even. being constantly aware of how your body/chest looks in certain clothing. even getting your t shots can be a reminder of it where you have to think about it often. i passed before t but i still thought about it a lot because it wasn't even about passing (some of it was) but it was along the lines of "what next? when do i get to start t?" etc. being on t and about to book my top surgery appointment, i don't think about it as much. i have my worries of my chest still in certain clothing, little things like that but besides that i don't think of it nearly as much as i used to except when it comes to things where i need to use my birth name (no name change yet) because then it's like uuuugh.

I think it depends on how your treated in some ways to, I don't think about it as much because I am treated like every other guy and everyone at my school accepts me so I forget half of the time.

[AdamMLP]

I get reminded of it fairly often, even though I'm read as male constantly, and stealth to the majority of people that I spent my life around.  There's only a few people that I see every 6 months or so for 3 week periods that know any other, as well as my girlfriend.

As I'm pre-everything I get reminded most times that I speak, as although my voice is clearly acceptable enough not to have had people question me on it, I can hear the difference myself.  I can also feel my binder, especially towards the end of the day, or if it wrinkles up, which is a pretty sure reminder that not all is how it should be.  Then there's me having to consciously remind myself that I need to walk past the urinals and sit to pee as well, which always grates.  Looking like I'm fifteen rather than eighteen is also an issue for me, as I can't go and buy alcohol/cigarettes/or even come across new people at work without being questioned severely on my age.  Minor things like not being able to buy adult clothes that fit me is also a reminder sometimes, although I'm getting over my hang ups about that now that I've found Primark sell XSs which are actually XS, and some places which sell kids clothes that don't look childish.  Even wearing my work PPE, which only goes as small as a small is a bit of a reminder of how small I am though, and why I am that size.  Sex is becoming increasingly more of a reminder now too.

Logistics cause a headache for me too still sometimes, the logistics of still having one or two things in another name that I can't bring myself to use when calling up to change it, so it doesn't get changed.  The current one, is the logistics of only having access to a shared shower/toilet room which has no locking doors on the shower, and only a window which may as well not be frosted and a curtain to protect me from anyone seeing me naked.

You can still be treated as male as anyone, but still have reminders from your physical self.  People very rarely bring it up with me now, just my girlfriend pointing out I need to book my train tickets and get ready for my next appointment, that my favourite binder is dry, or other mundane things that have become so normal in our life that we don't really connect them with me being trans.  I'm hoping that one day when my physicality is starting to fit what it should have always been then it will be less on my mind, as it's jarring with me less.

[ChrisRokk]

I literally have done nothing but take testosterone, no name change, no surgery, nothing else... and I still forget I'm trans a lot because the world thinks I'm cis to the point that people are convinced that the name on my driver's license can also be a man's name.  The shots aren't even really a reminder because plenty of men have medical conditions that require injections.

So yeah, even if you don't do much transition-wise, I think if everyone treats you like an average man, you forget most of the time.

[devention]

For me right now, everything is about transition. I'm in a precarious position where I have paperwork for my name change completed, but I don't have the documents or my gender change letter yet (hopefully tomorrow), so my job offer tomorrow is going to be...special, since I applied in my correct gender and name, but I don't have a license to back it up. So. Yeah. Hopefully it's not a cluster.

[aleon515]

Much less now than I used to, but I still do advocacy and volunteer (mentor, do Trans 101, etc.). I also co-moderate a very large group on FB. So it keeps it on my mind I suppose.

--Jay