It is really big stuff, being trans, and it starts with accepting this. Fighting it is unhealthy, fighting it or learning and yeilding to it without a competent shrink is just plain dangerous. I needed every bit of support I could get, and I still do, I am in conversation with my trans family daily on the phone and by way of forum, and every 3-4 weeks with the shrink to talk it out.
It is the hardest thing I have ever done, the smartest thing I have ever done, and the most important thing I have ever tried to do with the exception of getting sober.
Susans is very powerful, this section is some of the best of the best IMO, and please voice your feelings here. But find a shrink, this isn't about a hormonal end game, it is about learning to live with, accept and eventually embrace ourselves, in our truths.