My Stand up routine

[Monika the diva]

I am performing amateur stand up. I began doing open mics as a hobby when i have down time from school. Anyways, the focal point of my stand up is talking about my discrimination stories. I have a few but i have to try and find the funny in most of these situations. Anyway, I believe that right now to come out as a transgender comic could be a good thing.

I want people to people to know that we exist and we do get discriminated against and i want people out there to hear my stories and laugh with me as i mock people for it.

What do you think? I believe a lot people on here have stories as i do but i rather share them on stage and make people laugh.

I would appreciate anyone's two cents on the topic. I want to know what you guys think out of pure curiosity.

[suzifrommd]

The world will hear our stories in only two ways:

1. We tell 'em right.
2. Some one else tells 'em wrong.

Sing it, sister!

[Anna++]

I think sharing stories would be a good thing, as long as you anonymize other people's stories (and maybe ask their permission first?)  .  I'd love to hear a bit of your routine!

[Jill F]

Knock 'em dead, sister!

I think that having a wicked sense of humor is something that should be shared with the world.  We definitely all need more laughter in our lives.   If you can make the world more sympathetic to transgender people while you do it, then all the better.

I have been told by dozens of people that I should do stand up, but my sense of humor doesn't work well when it's scripted.   You just have to be there when I happen to say funny sh*t.

[Monika the diva]

I'll share two of my bits right here so you can get an idea of what i'm working with:

I was going to do a vocal recording but my voice sucks today since i did a lot of talking...so i'll write down the clean version of my material.

1. Dunkin Donuts Story

I'm walking into a Dunkin Donuts to buy a hot latte. Behind the counter is a 40 something Indian guy who takes my order. I told him i wanted an extra large hot latte with Soy Milk and a splash of coconut flavor. With a thick accent he tells me: That will be $4.27.

I pay the man that amount and he hands me my coffee. Then he looks at me and says "Thank you Sir!" My mouth dropped and I leaned in and said "Excuse me! Do i look like a sir to you?" I kind of wish my breast grew more so i could've shown him the goods and say "Do these belong on a sir?" But i didn't have the luxury to do that. So he looked at me like a deer in headlights. I took my cup and walked out as i was opening the door he yells "Thank you come again" I was so mad when i was making my way back to my car. I said to myself "Forget that guy! He can go screw! Infact, he can suck my left nut while i still have it!"

2. Dating

I feel comfortable enough to start dating again. So i started a profile on a dating site. I put it all out there on my profile i wrote that i am transgendered that i am a male that is going to become female by having surgery. If your okay with this then message me.

I have some pictures up there that are very attractive. I get a lot of "Hey Sexy" or "Beautiful", "Hotness"
Although flattered i didn't respond because I didn't feel those were enough to get a response out of me. So one of these guys finally messages me "Good Morning, how's the weather in downstate New York" I say to myself okay finally someone who can write a complete sentence. I message him back "Good Morning to you! I can assume that you read my profile?"

He writes back "Yes, I glanced at it."
I write him "Well, if you glanced at it then you probably read the part that i am transgendered. That i am still male. So I can assume that you're okay with that."
He writes back "What"
I wrote him back "I'm guessing you don't understand. I am a chick with a dick. So let me know if you are okay with this because if you're not let's cut our losses and stop here."
He writes back "Don't ever message me again."
I wrote him back "How dare you! You're the jackass who came barking up the wrong tree."
He never wrote me back, i think he blocked me.