qjeston for my mom... telling other people

[Mai]

so ive come out to my sis, mom, and stepdad all of whom are accepting.  but my mom has alot of friends, and runs her own business where she is quite friendly with her clientel.  and for a long time she has talked about me and how wonderfull of a "son" i am.  im 25 now nd should be starting hormones around my 26th birthday. and in about a year or so will be moving back in with my parents for a short time.  anyways.  she still refrs to me as her son, as my sister still refrs to me as her brother to other people they know so i guess the question is how should they go about telling other people that they know... about me?

itd be kinda awkward after transitioning and having one of my moms friEnds come over and see me, wondering who i am.

ive asked this elsewhere as well but thE main/only replies are other people with the same question.

[adrian]

Hello there

I think as so often, much depends on your individual situation/context. First of all I think it's wonderful your family is accepting - this is so important!

Of course, it would be great if your family would start using correct pronouns and simply explain the situation to friends if they ask about it. If they don't feel comfortable with this yet, maybe they could begin using un-gendered terms when referring to you, e.g. "child" instead of son/daughter, or sibling instead of brother/sister. Personally, I'd find this much more complicated, but maybe it is less so to them. This will not work in all languages though, unfortunately.

[Mark3]

Yes, what Adrian said above....

If there's a positive aspect, its that being seen by moms friends might be more positive than you think.? Plus having mom there might offer some support for you.. And maybe some won't mind at all, and you can have some positive conversations.?
It sounds better than a room full of strangers.?

[Julia-Madrid]

Truly, this isn't a problem.  You have a family which has accepted you, and THAT'S a major plus point.

If you're still presenting as male, it's really hard for people to use female pronouns for you.  Hell, it's really hard for family members to gender you correctly, even when you look totally a girl.  But they do get used to it, and you should gently remind them that you're now a "she". 

As far as your parents' friends go, again, this is no problem.  I find that my parents frequently misgender me in private, but never do so in public.  And if your parents have accepted you, chances are that your mother has spoken of you with some of her more intimate clients.

Ask your family about how they are going to try regender you in their minds, and also how they're going to deal with telling other people about you.  If they're proud of you as a boy, they'll be proud of you as a girl.  My mother is very clear about introducing me as her daughter.

A final point:  being transgender can be awkward at times.  With family, friends and strangers.  You'll have a really positive time of your transition if you smile and use humor to overcome any awkwardness.  Some people don't know what to say, and it's up to you to help them feel comfortable.  They're mostly curious, so be ready to tell your story - a very short one for strangers and a longer one for people who deserve more time.

Hope this helps.

Hugs
Julia