A few things about Vesper

[Vesper]

I was born a female and I have spent all my life socially acting, dressing, etc as a a female. I have spent most if not all my life feeling very uncomfortable in my own skin and it only got worse, the older I have gotten. Sad to say, I am 6 days away from my 30th birthday and I still don't know who I really am. I have been doing a lot of soul searching as of late and thinking on a lot of things from the time I was young to now. After looking at a LOT of things on the internet I am thinking that there is a very STRONG possibility that I may be FTM. But, I really don't have a support system, friends, family I can really talk to about it. So, thought I would take a chance when I found this site and see if I could talk to some other people, get some information, etc while I figure out what to do about it.

[Ms Grace]

Hey Vesper!

Welcome to Susan's Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Hopefully we can help provide some of that support you are missing or point you in the right direction.

Please check out the following links for general site info...

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Cheers

Grace

[adrian]

Hey there, Vesper! Well, looks like you started figuring things out a good 8 years sooner than me .Welcome - and take your time!

[Vesper]

Thanks!

Adrian:

Yeah, guess it's never too late. But, got to start somewhere, right?

[adrian]

But, got to start somewhere, right?

Ha, yes

[Anna-Maria]

Hey Vesper and welcome 

I was at the age of 30 too as I found out that I can´t live like this anymore I used to live the previous, don´t know 20 years, since the first time I wished deep in my heart I would have better been born as a girl (at that time I didn´t know exactly that I was born as girl but with the opposite primary sexual characterstics, anyway). I just couldn´t handle it anymore to live up with male stereotypes and being treated as a male and I was sick and tired of this deep sadness painting my life grey in grey. The feeling that it was never me acting but a shadow of myself... At this point in my life where I saw no exit and I was seriously considering doing harm on myself, I met subsequently two of the most wonderful people I´ve ever met in my life. The first one put the key in the keyhole, so to speak. The second one turned it for opening that door. Behind that door, there was my inner truth, my self, my female self.

Maybe one needs some outside impetus to come to terms with oneself.

I hope this Forum will help you to figure out, who you really are... You deserve to be happy with your life 

xoxo

[Devlyn]

Hi Vesper, welcome to Susan's Place! You say you're coming up on your 30th birthday and have no idea who you really are, but it sounds to me like you do. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

[Vesper]

Hi Vesper, welcome to Susan's Place! You say you're coming up on your 30th birthday and have no idea who you really are, but it sounds to me like you do. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

Yeah, maybe you are right.

Hey Vesper and welcome 

I was at the age of 30 too as I found out that I can´t live like this anymore I used to live the previous, don´t know 20 years, since the first time I wished deep in my heart I would have better been born as a girl (at that time I didn´t know exactly that I was born as girl but with the opposite primary sexual characterstics, anyway). I just couldn´t handle it anymore to live up with male stereotypes and being treated as a male and I was sick and tired of this deep sadness painting my life grey in grey. The feeling that it was never me acting but a shadow of myself... At this point in my life where I saw no exit and I was seriously considering doing harm on myself, I met subsequently two of the most wonderful people I´ve ever met in my life. The first one put the key in the keyhole, so to speak. The second one turned it for opening that door. Behind that door, there was my inner truth, my self, my female self.

Maybe one needs some outside impetus to come to terms with oneself.

I hope this Forum will help you to figure out, who you really are... You deserve to be happy with your life 

xoxo

What you have said, is pretty much the way things have gone down with me. I've always had more masculine characteristics, feelings, thoughts. I mean, I have never really associated myself as being a girl. I've always been in to things that girls usually don't like. Felt weird doing girly things. etc. I constantly get comments that I don't act my gender. Well, Maybe that's because I actually am. I just don't look the part.

[cynthiaverdejo]

Welcome to the club at starting things late. I'm 33 and have been trying to figure out what's been going on for the last few months.

It's hard and confusing, feel free to reach out to me.

[Vesper]

Welcome to the club at starting things late. I'm 33 and have been trying to figure out what's been going on for the last few months.

It's hard and confusing, feel free to reach out to me.

Thanks, ditto.