I'll never understand my wife :)

[dee jay]

If you have read my recent introduction post, you will know that my wife has become a recent and very sudden convert to my crossdressing. After many years of it repulsing her, she now quite likes it, and when she gets in the mood she REALLY enjoys it

Anyhoo... Last night.... My son went off to bed and fell asleep almpost immediately, rare for this 7 year old.
My wife went and had a shower and I changed from jeans and T-shirt into a short Faux leather skirt and a brand new satin like blouse that my wife bought me earlier that day.
I already had on black fisnets tights, pink undies and matching bra that I had been wearing all day (with her knowledge. She picked the undies)

To finish off my ensemble, I added a touch of red lipstick and a pair of 3 inch heeled shoes. Yes I know I'm a fat bloke in slim girls clothing, but I thought that I looked pretty good considering.

I poured my wife a large glass of red, and me a vodka. I sat in the living room and awaited her fresh and dressed from the shower.

When she arrived, I asked her what she thought.
The response was very negative... Not the skirt, or blouse, or tights... Oh no, that was fine... Lipstick and shoes.....
Apparently she cant stand me in lipstick or ladies shoes... She says I look weird..... I look weird?
I'm in a skirt too short and sexy for a man my age and weight to be wearing, fishnet tights over freshly shaven legs, a stunning shiny blue blouse with a matching belt done up in a pretty bow on the back and I look weird because I'm wearing lipstick and shoes???

Now I'm baffled. How can she not like lipstick and shoes but be happy with me in anything else?
I'll never understand her.

I've tried to explain that the shoes finish off the look and that shoes are an important part of every day life and it's always a good idea to have shoes on, especially when our living room is full of Lego. Lego into unprotected feet hurts!
She advised  me to put my trainers on!!!! There I am, looking like a million dollars (well in my head at least) and she wants me to put trainers on.... Not very girly at all !!!

Can anyone shed any light on the thought patterns of the modern woman? She will dress me in a very rude PVC dress, but won't let me wear shoes or lipstick as that makes me look weird???
The mind boggles
I'm not complaining though. A few ago weeks all my dressing was done in strict privacy. So I can't really complain.

Any thoughts?

DJ

[barbie]

DJ,

It makes me think that you have better hang on PVC.

Many women seem to be shy about their secret sexual taste.

Barbie~~

[Skye]

Obviously she has no issue with you wearing certain things, perhaps it is because she didn't pick them out?   Maybe what is getting her off is her feminization of you, not you doing it yourself.    Did you ask her if she would pick out some shoes for you?   Have you asked her if she wanted you to wear makeup, or do it for you so that it would look the way she would like?    Just a thought, I have a girlfriend who is into it, and she encourages me to dress up, but after a few times, I realized I can please her as well as myself.

Find out what her likes/dislikes are, I am sure you will find a middle ground, but at the same time, be VERY flexible.   My girlfriend dressed me in something I didn't think was very flattering or feminine, but it drove her nuts.

Remember, if she is just opening up to it, she is exploring it herself.   Patience, and understanding go a VERY long way with this.

Prepare yourself also for the fact that she may not want you to wear makeup, as that may be too much for her right now.   Again, ask her what she would like.   

You never know, you might end up in a pair of thigh-high's with her chasing you down to smear eyeshadow on you.

[dee jay]

You never know, you might end up in a pair of thigh-high's with her chasing you down to smear eyeshadow on you.

Oh I wish!

It's not the fact that she is feminising me, far from it. I think, and she says that it's the effect my dressing has on me.
But the effect has always been the same, though the effect variies on mood etc. Sometimes I dress for sexual excitment, other times it's for to relax, othertimes it's just because it feels right.

The sexual side of it is great now that my wife joins in... It was hell being all dressed up with no place to go

We talked about this last night. I've told her that I'd like to experiment with make up and that one day I'd love her to give me a full make over.
She hasn't said that it won't happen, it just won't happen yet.

My wife sees make up as two things.
1) It's all too much "drag Queen"
2) It's too far down the road to becoming a woman, even though I keep reassuring her that this never has been nor ever will be an option. I'm very happy being a man, just one who likes to wear womens' clothing and attempt to emulate them occasionally.

Shoes... That's a different matter. She sees shoes as accessories. I see them as essential to the outfit. You are not dressed until you have shoes on.
She doesn't want me to have earings (clip on of course), necklaces etc etc etc.
I think that given time she will open up to the various ideas. A few weeks ago I could only dream of her being so welcoming to my "hobby", so life is a lot better than it was back then.
I'll take it easy, not push, and let her make all the in-roads. I would hate to push her too far and for her to suddenly switch back to the way she was. The switch was very sudden, and It's all too worrying that she'll switch back just as quick.

What's great now is that I can talk openly about my hopes, wants and desires. What type of clothes I'd like to buy, what my fantasy outfits are (Cheerleader, maid, nurse etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc ). We spent a while discussing tights (panty hose to you lot across the pond), what types we prefer and why.

One thing that my wife is a little p****d about is the fact that over the last month we have spent a lot more money on my new clothes than we have hers.... I tried to explain that she already had wardrobes full of womens' clothing but that fell on deaf ears

A lot of good is coming out of this. We are talking, sometimes very deep conversations until the early hours. She has told me her fears, and her fears for the future when our son is older and isn't going to bed at 8PM. Will we tell him? What will we tell him? when do we tell him? What if he finds out? Personally I'd like to tell him now so he grows up knowing that his dad is still his dad and will never be another mum. The trouble with this is what happens in school should he mention it one day? 

I hate having secrets from my son. I'd love to be open and honest. I'd love to be able to wear a dress in front of him and for him to think that it's a perfectly natural thing to do. I'd like him to grow up beleiving that it's just as OK for a man to wear a skirt as it is for a woman to wear jeans. Hopefully one day.

Anyway, that's enough rambling. Thanks for listening.

DJ

[gennee]

My wife doesn't understand why I enjoy wearing womens' clothing but she lets me. She knows that I wear panties and bras. She knows that I hang out with other CDs. She's partially accepting saying it's me. Anything is better than nothing.

Gennee

[billy678]

I am sure if you take it slowly, she'll warm up to the idea of you wearing shoes and earrings

[saraswatidevi]

One thing that my wife is a little p****d about is the fact that over the last month we have spent a lot more money on my new clothes than we have hers....

My daughter and I were discussing this very issue. Not in your family; just in general. Since I started hanging out here I often start a conversation with her about TS/TG stuff. We both think that the allocation of resources must be a big part of the problem for many spouses. It would be for us. I never see this element discussed in this forum. That is, that one partner is spending lots of family resources on a new wardrobe and/or various surgeries and the other partner doesn't. The other partner could be expected to feel resentful. Not because she needs a new wardrobe but because she needs to have an equal allocation of family resources.

Maybe you could raise this issue with your spouse. Find out how she would feel about deciding each month how much disposable income the family has and then splitting it. You could buy clothes and she could have whatever else she needs to feel good. Just finding out what it would take for her to feel good in this area could help a lot.

And, by the way, don't be judgmental about whatever she says she needs to feel good. Don't suggest that your need for another wardrobe is more important than her need for whatever.

[Louise]

Sharing resources is a frequent source of conflict between some spouses.  I have always had to live on a relatively modest income.  When our kids were young meeting their needs was the number one priority for my wife and I.  We would get ourselves necessities but few luxuries.  One reason I didn't start shopping for my own feminine clothing until later in life is that I always considered it an unnecessary luxury.  It is important to not let the desire to get pretty things for oneself get out of control.  When I feel the need for a new outfit I try to find something for my wife as well.  She accepts my crossdressing and we will sometimes go shopping together.  Since I have very good taste in women's clothing, my wife is always willing to let me help pick out her clothes.  She will also tell me whether she thinks an outfit would look good on me as well.

[KitKatKathy]

I guess I'm one of the 'lucky' ones, 'cause my wife has accepted the woman side of me.

Although she won't admit it, I think she secretly desires to make love to another woman, 'cause we have done so while I've been 'dressed', (at her request!)

Maybe you just need to give her time, as she's still adjusting.

I also think maybe it's because you wear things she doesn't, like short skirts, fishnets, etc..., I don't know, I'm still new to this, just laying few ideas.