How HRT affects the mind

[Apple]

I was very much looking forward to the mental changes that are usually brought about by HRT, when I was about to begin. But to my surprise, even at full dose, there was absolutely no change at all. And I know my mind very well. The physical changes were very quick on the other hand, my breasts started growing rapidly after two weeks of HRT.

In retrospect, I realized that my body has never been much sensitive to testosterone. I didn't get much beard growth, no muscles, no stink, no rough skin - and no effect on my mind that could be then reversed by the estrogens and antiandrogens...

[becoming gianna]

Im nust over a month on hrt, and so far the effects have been mostly positive. My temper has died down a bit. Im able to concentrate more on whatever i have my mind set on. Im becoming more in tune with my emotions, and the emotions of others. My sense of smell has increased 3 fold, which isnt always a good thing   otoh, im smiling more, and that is a good thing

[KatrinaLynne]

I am having a super bad morning. But I am getting a little better as I wake up more. I have more questions. But the one on my mind is...
If I decide that I do not want low dose. How possible is it to stay stealth on full dose hrt?

[Tori]

It is possible for as long as it is possible.

People gender a person based on many factors including voice, hair, posture, clothing, gestures...etc. HRT does less than many think at least visually. Even cis women have to work at it.

[AnonyMs]

If I decide that I do not want low dose. How possible is it to stay stealth on full dose hrt?

I believe its quite possible just so long as your breasts don't grow too large, and they can get quite uncomfortable hiding them as they do. My face looks funny, but its easily hidden with stubble. Having said that, I've been on low dose a long time, and full dose a short time only.

You might also eventually find that you need to go further, and not doing so will cause a lot of problems. I've been very depressed until recently because of it.

[kathyk]

You could possibly stay stealth for a year, and maybe more.  The issue hinges on how many physical changes occur in your face and body.  Your skin will become softer, your strength will lessen, and your breasts will grow somewhat (different for everyone).  I hid behind a heavy beard on HRT until I couldn't stand it anymore, and I know others that did the same.  So if you start HRT to relieve anxiety you should prepare to also discover the wonders of that woman inside.  It may happen that the woman you always wanted to be will need to surface sooner than expected, and you'll need to be true from that point on - and forever.  Transitions take many different roads.  And even though we plan, we all have to adapt to what comes along. 

Hugs girl.  In one way or another we've all been where you are now, and we care about what you're doing.

Kathy

[bibilinda]

Hello Katrina

I totally relate to the shyness issue (I am extremely shy myself, never been a people person, when I see more than two people together in any place near me, I start getting paranoid).

Anyhow, about the HRT: Even low dosages will do you way more good than anything your psychiatrist/therapist prescribes, specially if it is the typical stuff (anti-anxiety and even anti-psychotic drugs). Been there, done that. My shrink has prescribed those things for me for more than three years now and they just didn't work, so I have discontinued them. Currently, after more than five years on HRT, I am on full dose of everything for the first time, in a non-stop fashion for more than three months straight  (except anti-androgens because I don't need them) and I am finally starting to feel good most of the time.

I am assuming your dysphoria is big, and you just can't take the fact of living a lie any more, and now you feel the urge, the huge need to start doing something before it is too late.

Estradiol (and maybe progesterone, the "feel good hormone" that I use instead of any other anti-anxiety drugs prescribed by my shrink, but make sure you take the non-synthetic version of it, to avoid damage to your body), as well as an anti-androgen if you don't plan to have an orchiectomy, as I did, 13 months after I started my HRT, will surely make you feel much better emotionally, because in your mind you will start thinking that now you are going to where you really need to go.

If your therapist is not a specialist in transgender people, I would advise for you to visit a specialist, because otherwise you will get the wrong advice and medication for your particular case, as it happened to me.

You say you can't function any more, and I can totally relate to that as well. As I said, even at low doses, just the fact that you are finally doing something about becoming who you really are, will put you more at ease than just taking
anti depressant, anti anxiety or sedative drugs, which will just mask the symptoms (your dysphoria) but won't do anything to actually attack the issue by its root (take the bull by its horns so to speak). If you start HRT, I will strongly advise that you see an endocrinologist for that, so they start you up on a minimal dose, monitor your reactions and then slowly increase it to avoid dangerous side effects.

I wish you all the best in your new journey!!!

Cheers

Bibi

I think I am at the point where I have to make the decision to start hrt. I could have started in the beginning of this year but my anxiety's and the thought of losing my wife have  prevented me from doing so. I am pretty sure it is at the point of hrt or death. So... I know it is different for everyone. But I would like to ask what the possibilities of low dose hrt can do to my mind. I can't function any more. I almost can not even leave the house. Being trans along with my ocd and super shyness is stopping me from living my life. I have a great therapist but the last 2 sessions have not made me feel better anymore.

So what I am asking is how might hrt change my brain. I need an explanation that I can give my wife. She won't read or research anything. So I need some examples to share with her.

Thank you in advance.