A lot bit shy and very new to myself, but I have been reading posts here for days now and really felt like I wanted to break out of my shell and participate.
I recently realized I have been a woman my entire life, when I did it was like pieces slipped into place in a huge puzzle that had stumped me for as long as I can remember. The relief I felt was immense and only got better when I found this site and started reading that so many women and men have had very similar experiences to my own.
Some of my earliest memories are of watching the movie The Witches and imagining that I had also been turned into a mouse, and that when I was turned back to normal I was a girl; I got goose bumps just thinking that. Silly enough, on a Saturday morning I remember watching the Xmen cartoon with my brother because there was a super hero named morph who could change shape and I thought that would be the greatest power ever.
Many nights I would go to bed thinking that if I prayed for it and closed my eyes tight and stayed still enough that when I fell asleep I would wake up a girl. Pretty powerful thoughts for a grade schooler, I think now, and my confusion and detachment really kept me from talking to anyone through youth.
I also came out to my wife, and it went about as badly as could be. D word has already been thrown out there as well as accusations and slurs. I guess finding out you didn't really know someone who is fragile means you had best do your best to punish them for it. Sigh.
I realize after some reflection that I was really just desperate for female closeness and affection. I never really had any strong sexual desires in my life and am close to thinking Im sexually disinterested as well as a trans woman.
I will stop rambling now >.< I went from saying I'm shy to giving my life story.
Really, I am eager more than anything.. I am 31 now and feel like I have a lost life to make up for.
Hi, I'm Liz. Nice to meet you.
