Nearly came out to my mom. Couldn't go through with it

[ssneha23]

I stay in a different city away from my parents. So I had a conversation over the phone with my mom that went like this...

Me: Hi ma. How are you .. How was your day.
Mom: my day was good... (And then we spoke a little about general stuff and after a minute...)

Mom: I need you to get your estrogen level checked and I need to see the report this weekend..
Me: Why ma what makes you say that
Mom: because you look like a girl honey. I know something is up with you. Are you gay?

So here was my chance and I blew it.. [emoji21] [emoji21] . I took the opportunity presented in the question to escape. This is what I said instead...

Me: Ma.. I am not going to answer the question either way. So what of I am gay. There is nothing either of us can do about it, right? I hope you still accept me, I will always remain your child you know..

Mom: so are you saying that you are gay?
Me: I am not answering that question (that part is so true, I am still exploring my sexuality.., so I couldn't answer the question even if I wanted to)

Then my mom's response was pretty encouraging...

Mom: well I know something is up with you. And I am your mother and need to know everything about you and I am there for you no matter what. Please just be honest with me...

I burst into tears right there. I plan on telling mom when I go home in December for Christmas.., keeping my fingers crossed that I will more courage than what I did on the phone..

[FriendsCallMeChris]

That sounded like an encouraging conversation!

[Jo-is-amazing]

what about sending an email or letter?
that way you don't have the stress of bringing yourself to say it in person
Its what I did....Im a complete coward when it comes to coming out and you can get so much more information across in a way that isn't completely scrambled by how stressed and scared you are.

hugs
you'll tell her eventually

[ImagineKate]

I don't like letters because I want to be in control over what the recipient hears/sees.

I thought you told your dad? Are they apart? Mine are. I haven't come out to either of them yet.  Good luck.

[ssneha23]

I don't like letters because I want to be in control over what the recipient hears/sees.

I thought you told your dad? Are they apart? Mine are. I haven't come out to either of them yet.  Good luck.

Thank you sooo much for your replies. Hugs hugs.  No I haven't told my dad. My parents are together so I guess whenever it is the time to come out. I will tell them together. I also don't like letters or phone conversations. I want to be able to see their body language and facial reactions when I come out. It may be tough. But at least I can control the situation..

[ImagineKate]

It IS going to be tough... but the good part is that you seem to be making great progress, and you're beautiful and happy so hopefully they can see how wonderful a person you are. I also know some of the culture and values you're dealing with so I won't lie, it would be hard to accept for them. But in the end are you happy with yourself? In the end you have to live with yourself.

I had massive disagreement with my mom over my wife. Sure, my wife is Indian but she is from Guyana so my mom had a cow, and said all sorts of nasty things about her and did not attend the (very expensive, lavish, 4 day) wedding. In the end I stopped talking to her for a while, but my mom slowly came back because she realized that life is too short to make enemies with your children. So keep that in the back of your mind. They may be upset for a while but they should come around eventually. Probably sooner rather than later.

Best of luck sister. My inbox is always open.

[immortal gypsy]

So here was my chance and I blew it.. [emoji21] [emoji21] . I took the opportunity presented in the question to escape.
Then my mom's response was pretty encouraging...

I always believe when the time comes you know. Yes it looks like opportunities appear, but only you know when the time is truly right to tell someone. So don't feel bad that you didn't tell your mother over the phone and good luck over Christmas