I think I might be Trans and don't want to be

[Christine9]

Hi all, I am new here.  I am a 21 year old male.  I have been crossdressing and trying on women's clothing since I was 13.  I've always had it in the back of my mind that I would like to be a female.  I still crossdress from time to time, but I hate myself after.  I love it while I am dressed but hate it and myself after.  I really wish I had no want to dress at any time.  I really want to just be a regular guy which I am 90% of the time, it's just the other 10% where I want to be dressed up and feel pretty.  I don't know what to do. 

[Bombadil]

Hi and Welcome to Susans. A mod will be along to post some information about the forums.

You'll get a lot of good advice here. One thing a lot of people are going to recommend is you find yourself a gender therapist. A gender therapist can help you figure out if you are trans* and help you deal with your feelings about crossdressing.

I think many of us have wished to be regular. It sure would be easier! You might find that you are more normal than you realize. Human beings are so diverse and there's so much people don't talk about a lot of the time. Yes, most people aren't trans but an amazing amount of people don't fit the 'regular guy" mold either in truth.

You don't have to rush and figure everything out and don't jump to conclusions. Read here and ask questions. Find yourself a gender therapist if possible and take things one step at a time.

[V M]

Hi Christine 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Yes, a therapist who specializes in gender issues is your best bet to help you decide for yourself where you fit along the transgender spectrum 

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Hugs

V M

[Jaded Jade]

Definitely get a good gender therapist.

If you find that the idea of full transition is not something that you are comfortable with, make sure to also check out the non-binary section here too.

There are allot of people there that find that they have some masculine and some feminine traits, even if that is not your situation, if you are feeling in the middle now, you might find some clarity there.


- Jaded Jade

[Arch]

Welcome, Christine.

I'm trans and don't want to be . . . and I transitioned years ago. My buddy is a femme FTM, and he embraces his transness. I have another friend who is genderqueer and male identified (last time I talked to him) and who may never transition. We're all over the spectrum.

I agree with what Jaded says; a GOOD therapist can help you to sort out some things, and the nonbinary section might be a good place for you to explore your feelings.

[Jo-is-amazing]

honey no one wants to be trans*
I honestly struggle with myself sometimes I hate that I couldn't be happy with what nature gave me. But to be happy I know that I need to transition. Too many of us hate our own souls, we need to realise that this is not our fault and that transitioning isn't bad, but an unbelievably positive step to become happy, healthy people

[helen2010]

Hi all, I am new here.  I am a 21 year old male.  I have been crossdressing and trying on women's clothing since I was 13.  I've always had it in the back of my mind that I would like to be a female.  I still crossdress from time to time, but I hate myself after.  I love it while I am dressed but hate it and myself after.  I really wish I had no want to dress at any time.  I really want to just be a regular guy which I am 90% of the time, it's just the other 10% where I want to be dressed up and feel pretty.  I don't know what to do.

Christine

As Christopher says a good gender therapist will help you make sense of this.  While I was once in a similar space,  experiences and solutions can end up being so very different.  For me being told I was trans was a huge relief.  At last I had a reason for the dysphoria.  Working with my therapist I was introduced to an endo who started me on low dose hrt.  Suddenly no dysphoria.  No need to transition.  Huge relief ... until I understood myself as non binary and determined that I wished to present as more androgynous, which is another story. 

For some the path is relatively short and comfortable, for others it is neither short nor linear.  There can be many twists and turns.  Provided that you author the journey and the outcome helps you to a more authentic place then all is good.

Safe travels

Aisla

[Devlyn]

Hi Christine, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. If you want to cast aside the male and be pretty for awhile, go for it! Ill go along with everyone else that a therapist can help you sort out your thoughts,  but a therapist is not necessary to live a happy, healthy life. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

honey no one wants to be trans*
I honestly struggle with myself sometimes I hate that I couldn't be happy with what nature gave me. But to be happy I know that I need to transition. Too many of us hate our own souls, we need to realise that this is not our fault and that transitioning isn't bad, but an unbelievably positive step to become happy, healthy people

No one, everyone, all, none, these are terms that generally shouldn't be used here.  I know I am happy to be transgender, and so are others here.

[Julia-Madrid]

Hi Christina

Jo's comment below, which I have liberally edited is spot on.

"Too many of us hate our own souls, we need to realise that this is not our fault..."

The fundamental thing is to KNOW yourself.  It's not a comfortable process to stare yourself in the face with the guidance of a therapist, but you really do get massive insight into who you are.

And knowing who you are does not condemn you to any type of life or any type of decision.  It does, however, allow you to understand the reasons for why you are how you are.

Hugs
Julia

[gennee]

Hi Christine and welcome to Susan's.

[Ms Grace]

Welcome to Susan's, Christine! Please don't hate yourself for how you feel. You are hurting no one by dressing how in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. Good advice above, joining the forum is a good start but please talk it over with a counsellor and discuss what lies behind the "urge" to cross dress and desires to be a woman.

[stephaniec]

I might be a little weird , but I like being trans.

[Christine9]

Thank you all for the warm welcome.  I think talking to a counsler would really help. Do any of you know of someone I can talk with here? I just graduated from college this spring so I don't really have the means too pay for a psycologist. Thanks again.

[Jo-is-amazing]

Sorry I hope i didn't offend anyone, I certainly didn't mean to
I was just a bit down on.myself yesterday and I think it leaked into my post just a little bit   
...
And I'm sorry Christine I don't know about any psychologist 's on here but feel free to pm me anytime

[Devlyn]

I hope you're feeling better. I'm certainly not offended, I was just pointing out that we are a very diverse group, here for very diverse reasons. That's what makes this such a strong community.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Lyric]

What you are experiencing is something many people here have gone through and this is a good place for advice. When we are young we all want to be "regular" and just fit in, however you are who you are. I'm sure there are plenty of people who say they are 5'3" and don't want to be. Most people never start becoming happy until they stop trying to be what they think others want them to be and start being the unique person they are. It's kind of like the girl in "Frozen". "Regular" people are often just inwardly unhappy people who haven't discovered they're own uniqueness yet. It sounds to me like you're discovering yours.

~ Lyric ~