To all late transitioning MTF, what was it like coming out?

[TSJasmine]

Okay, sooo I started transitioning when I was 14. By that I just mean dressing as a girl, using the girls bathroom, growing my hair out, wearing makeup,  etc. with the exception of not starting hormones until I was 16. I guess you can say I was an androgynous boy until hormone therapy? Although most people would call me a "she" without me asking & ma'am me almost always. So, anyways, transitioning was somewhat easy for me since I had started so young & didn't really have to deal with the struggle of living as a "man" & then telling people I'm a girl since I'd already been considered a girl for so long. So my question is, for all of you later-transitioning tgirls, what was it like? How was it getting people to call you ma'am & (quite possibly) going from a man to a woman? I can only imagine it was pretty difficult to come to terms with & others to accept. I'd love to hear all of your stories (:

& btw, late transitioner only qualifies if you're 25+ I think. Anything below is kind of young in my opinion. Although, don't limit yourself, I'd still love to hear from younger girls to! Type away, my lovelies! ((:

[Squircle]

I started transitioning at 33. I was terrified of coming out and it took a lot of mental preparation; in fact from the point of thinking 'I need to do this' to telling my family was probably around 6 months. In my head was the worst case scenario: rejection from friends and family, career suicide, end of my relationship. In truth only the last of these happened and even then she's still my best friend. So generally, my fears were unfounded.

I have found though that my oldest male friends, whilst initially supportive, have slowly distanced themselves. I think that when I was talking to them about what was going to happen they wanted to be accepting and help me through it, but once the reality kicked in I think they've found it too hard to deal with and so have just drifted away. That's only two people though, and I've made many more friends since coming out.

I was lucky in a few ways though; for a start, I'm small and slight and pass pretty well, especially since FFS. I think (and my parents have confirmed this to be true for them at least; they said if it had been my 6ft broad shouldered brother they would've been a lot more fearful) that some people would've been less supportive, or at least more likely to urge caution, if I didn't look like a woman. It's not fair but it's just how people work I suppose. Also, I work in a creative and young industry, where people are generally quite liberal and accepting. And I wasn't married and I have no children, which must make it much harder.

I think though that it's never too late!

[Jill F]

I think though that it's never too late!

Truer words have never been spoken.

[lemon_ice]

I started transitioning at 33. I was terrified of coming out and it took a lot of mental preparation; in fact from the point of thinking 'I need to do this' to telling my family was probably around 6 months. In my head was the worst case scenario: rejection from friends and family, career suicide, end of my relationship. In truth only the last of these happened and even then she's still my best friend. So generally, my fears were unfounded.

I have found though that my oldest male friends, whilst initially supportive, have slowly distanced themselves. I think that when I was talking to them about what was going to happen they wanted to be accepting and help me through it, but once the reality kicked in I think they've found it too hard to deal with and so have just drifted away. That's only two people though, and I've made many more friends since coming out.

I was lucky in a few ways though; for a start, I'm small and slight and pass pretty well, especially since FFS. I think (and my parents have confirmed this to be true for them at least; they said if it had been my 6ft broad shouldered brother they would've been a lot more fearful) that some people would've been less supportive, or at least more likely to urge caution, if I didn't look like a woman. It's not fair but it's just how people work I suppose. Also, I work in a creative and young industry, where people are generally quite liberal and accepting. And I wasn't married and I have no children, which must make it much harder.

I think though that it's never too late!

Wow you situation sounds so similar to mine! I started at 30 and have only been transitioning for four months though, although it feels like half a lifetime already... and changes have progressed rather quickly too. I'm out to everyone and had the exact same fears as you, however like you, everyone has been amazing Although I do worry about some of my male friends and whether after the initial support and acceptance phase that they might drift away, I do hope they don't... Also similar to you I think some of the support is down to my physical characteristics, I am actually 6ft (I'm not the tallest woman in the family) but I have a slender build, wide hips, narrow shoulders and my face was looking relatively pretty and passable at 3 months, I've just had FFS too which has gone really well
Sadly I do think a lot of peoples reaction is based on how you look, family included, maybe especially family...
Also I live in New Zealand and we seem to be pretty accepting of differences here, in fact rather welcoming of oddness in many places. I would say that we still have the high per capita level of hippies and alternative life-stylers of anywhere in the world lol. So I'm pretty lucky with that too

[TSJasmine]

I started transitioning at 33. I was terrified of coming out and it took a lot of mental preparation; in fact from the point of thinking 'I need to do this' to telling my family was probably around 6 months. In my head was the worst case scenario: rejection from friends and family, career suicide, end of my relationship. In truth only the last of these happened and even then she's still my best friend. So generally, my fears were unfounded.

I have found though that my oldest male friends, whilst initially supportive, have slowly distanced themselves. I think that when I was talking to them about what was going to happen they wanted to be accepting and help me through it, but once the reality kicked in I think they've found it too hard to deal with and so have just drifted away. That's only two people though, and I've made many more friends since coming out.

I was lucky in a few ways though; for a start, I'm small and slight and pass pretty well, especially since FFS. I think (and my parents have confirmed this to be true for them at least; they said if it had been my 6ft broad shouldered brother they would've been a lot more fearful) that some people would've been less supportive, or at least more likely to urge caution, if I didn't look like a woman. It's not fair but it's just how people work I suppose. Also, I work in a creative and young industry, where people are generally quite liberal and accepting. And I wasn't married and I have no children, which must make it much harder.

I think though that it's never too late!

Well congrats on getting through it It seems a lot of people have had FFS here haha How much was yours if you don't mind me asking? & who did you go to?

[Devlyn]

"late transitioner only qualifies if you're 25+"  That's late? 

[Jill F]

"late transitioner only qualifies if you're 25+"  That's late? 

So what does that make me? Overripe? Posthumous? 

[stephaniec]

So what does that make me? Overripe? Posthumous? 

so what's beyond posthumous?

[Alaena_okc]

"late transitioner only qualifies if you're 25+"  That's late? 

thats good hun, im pushing 58, now thats late... LOL

but to the subject, i came out to everyone today, i got to say it was the scariest thing i ever had to do, but i got to that point to where if i didnt, i might as well ride off into the sunset, i choosed to tell everyone, now that this twenty ton weight is now lifted off my shoulders, I can continue with my transition YEAH!

[Devlyn]

thats good hun, im pushing 58, now thats late... LOL

but to the subject, i came out to everyone today, i got to say it was the scariest thing i ever had to do, but i got to that point to where if i didnt, i might as well ride off into the sunset, i choosed to tell everyone, now that this twenty ton weight is now lifted off my shoulders, I can continue with my transition YEAH!

Congratulations! All the little steps add up!

Hugs, Devlyn

[TSJasmine]

"late transitioner only qualifies if you're 25+"  That's late? 

Late in terms of how long they must have been living as a male by that point :p Possibly not long at all to someone who started in their late 30's but from the perspective of someone as young as me, quite long lol

[TSJasmine]

but to the subject, i came out to everyone today, i got to say it was the scariest thing i ever had to do, but i got to that point to where if i didnt, i might as well ride off into the sunset, i choosed to tell everyone, now that this twenty ton weight is now lifted off my shoulders, I can continue with my transition YEAH!
[/quote]

Congratulations! I hope your transition goes smoothly <3

[stephaniec]

Late in terms of how long they must have been living as a male by that point :p Possibly not long at all to someone who started in their late 30's but from the perspective of someone as young as me, quite long lol

wow, now I feel my birthday was the same day as the big bang

[Devlyn]

I lived forty seven years as a male, now I've been kind of wibbly wobbling around in neutral territory for six years. I just told everyone "I'm a bit of a crossdresser, it turns out." Everything has been fine for me, but it's not like people give you a lot of grief when you're pushing fifty.

Hugs, Devlyn

[stephaniec]

I'm having a blast, coming out gave me a life to live.

[Kova V]

So I'm going to geek out for a second... Please forgive my nerdyness 

Maybe 'late' is an incomplete form of measure... Late means there is an early and an on-time. On time for me would have been at the time I was conceived, after all I'm a girl that should have been born a girl. As for being late, everyone that has transitioned has done so later than the time they were born, this makes the concept moot.

Now if one was to make a statement regarding time relative to their own transition then we have a new time origin where by transitioning after said persons own time of transition may be considered late or rather later.

This wouldn't necessarily take into account people that have multiple transitions and that have detransitioned between.

Sorry, I just binge watched a whole bunch of episodes from season 1 of The Big Bang Theory... I think I was channeling my inner Sheldon.

[ashley_thomas]

I started at 36 and entrenched in a rather successful career, that and transitioning with kids in tow make it really complicated.  No complete losses yet, and still with my life partner, but slower than slow pace is what made the difference.  Decoupling from a male brand that worked extremely well has been the hardest. People had no idea. The shock with some has taken months in some cases to wear off.  Medical and physical changes are going really well.  All in, a 4-6 yr transition from the time I first went to therapy to when I'm full time and done with FFS and anything else.

[mynees]

I started transitioning at 25... Does that make me a late transitioner or young transitioner? 

[stephaniec]

I started transitioning at 25... Does that make me a late transitioner or young transitioner? 

?

[Megumi]

I was 29 when I came out to my family last year and it was utter hell for me and drove me to the brink over and over with all the crud I had to deal with and that was before I started doing any RLE which oddly enough my transition outside of my family life has been really positive minus some typical events that happen to transgender folks as they first start going out authentically. I came out at work recently and about 1200 people know I'm trans, rumors have spread about me and anyone they tell along with all the people who knew me before I came out has been extremely stressful and I've been emotional eating a lot but once again my overall work experience is very positive as nobody will mess with me since upper management has my back and has stated such. I even get to use the correct bathroom and lots of people accept me for who I am and see me fully as a woman and treat me as such. People open doors and hold doors open for me which that never ever happened before I came out.

I would love the chance to tell my 13 year old self to just come out of the closet and try to transition before I made it out of high school so I could just live stealth mode and move to a whole new area where nobody knew my past but I don't think I would have survived the environment that I would have been in family wise as a young transgender teen in the south with very biblical parents.