do you have a safe back up plan in case you can't meet your required results

[androgynouspainter26]

Eh.  It's complex; my circumstances aren't much worse than anyone elses, at least I don't think-but my personal life is not going so well, and I have a penchent for strong language.  PM me if you wish, but it's nothing interesting I assure you.

[Miranda Catherine]

Painter, I know avatars can be very deceiving, but you don't look andro to me you look female, feminine and pretty. Just sayin'.....Hugs, Kiddo! Happiness IS out there! Mira

[antonia]

In my case there were two things which changed my perspective on non binary presentation.

First of all I went full time before starting HRT knowing that I would not present fully female, seeing how the world reacted to me as I became less self concious about myself and happier I realized that everyone still treated me with respect and in fact people started being much kinder to me and I became so much more social as people felt more comfortable around me and somehow even strangers started striking up conversations.

The second thing that really helped me was getting to know people in the local trans community, seeing their strength, courage and positive attitudes showed me that life can be beautiful, fun and fulfilling regardless of how others perceive ones gender. I think we can all learn something from the people in our community that choose non-binary, I for one have had some very insightful and inspiring conversations with people that I can now call my friends that fall in the non-binary spectrum.

[tuuliu]

I feel oh oh so mixed about this topic.

In a way I admire so much people who are thick skinned enough not to care about other people's perception of them, and be themselves and just put themselves out there. I personally I feel so trapped and alone sometimes in my struggle that's hard. But I suffer from obvious self-esteeem issues that have been plaguing me since I am about 14.

I so so so want want want want social inclusion and to feel like I belong.

I have the same, or at least similar experience. And knowing that only by letting go of the expectations I know I'll be happy... It's tough. It's the other people who ultimately gender me, right or wrong, through their perceptions. I can only take my pills and focus on my voice, makeup, mannerisms etc.

I have these dark moments of thinking about what you might call a plan B when I just feel like crawling under the blanket and staying there. What if it doesn't work out? It hits me when I think about some old social circles, like I never use Skype but today I checked my contacts. I felt SO... like an outsider, like a freak. Even though I have many accepting friends. What if I'm doing something completely irrational and stupid that's not good for me anyway? How can I ever go back? So yeah I think I'm still in a way sticking to my "plan B" of just not coming out of the closet to most of my old social groups. Here's to me hoping I won't have to follow that forever.

I can identify with someone being on HRT for years and still having to follow that plan B. It. Feels. Painful. I guess if that happens it's time to scrape together a plan C where I can find a way to just f'em. I have no idea if I could pull it off, so I steer my thoughts away from it. I think I'm practicing doing this by just being myself already whenever I can, but I don't know if I could do it if I could see no hope for being gendered correctly. I know I wasn't able to before because of crippling social anxiety, but I don't know how things will be in the future.

[Hikari]

I seem to pass so I guess it is academic but, I certainly didn't go into this with any backup plan aside from suicide.... In my view back then it was "I need to be a woman to be happy, and I don't want to live a life where I am unhappy" I wouldn't recommend that point of view, but it isn't like I choose it either.

I did however, consider that even if hormones weren't very effective I would be able to rationalize any risk to be able to be viewed as a woman. Taking control of my doseages and being willing to risk surgery are small risks when faced with unwavering certainty that the only way to be happy was to transition. It all sounds a little mental to me now, but I am sure if I were forced to live as make again I would feel the exact same way.

[Skeptoid]

I'll consider myself passing when people call me ma'am instead of sir. I'll consider myself passing when people stop saying "would you gentlemen" when I'm out with a friend. When I'm hassled by staff for using the men's room and told to go to the women's room. When I go to a clothing store without getting funny looks from the other girls.