I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how to acclimate to dealing with cis-het men as someone who is now perceived as woman?
I'm completely happy with how the physical aspects of my transition have gone, but dealing with men has been frustrating. I like men, and find it personally very gender affirming to date men even though I like women too. But I've had problems with everything from harassment to sexual assault with them since I've transitioned. It's like I have a blind spot that I feel like my cis-gal sisters don't.
Like last week, I met a guy who seemed like a really good nice guy. Good with boundaries. Knew I had trauma issues and was fine being really accommodating of those. But, even though he still seems like a genuinely nice guy, he lied to me to try to impress me to get me into bed with him. It worked. He confessed later, and now I feel devastated. I don't consider consent that is obtained through deceit actual consent, so it's just reopened a bunch of old wounds for me.
It's like, I had problems with the men I dated back when my gender expression was more masculine, but not like this. Not like every guy I date is a predator that just wants to ->-bleeped-<- me and not give a damn about my emotions. I've been really struggling for the past week or so with trying to figure out how I can date who I want to date without getting, or at least feeling victimized over and over again.
Anyone have any thoughts?
