Might be trans, unsure of religious point of view

[darkblade]

Hi Everyone,

I'm an Arab Muslim that just started questioning my gender identity so I guess I've got a long painful (and liberating) way to go. I've been identifying as gay (hate the word lesbian) for over 5 years (I'm only 20), but I've just uncovered a much greater issue which I'd managed to shove deep inside my brain for many years. Most people would describe me as butch even though I only briefly identified as such: for example when I moved to a new high school at 14 all my classmates noted that I acted like a guy (which I find odd because I'd never spent much time at all around men when I was young). My mother tried - and still tries - very hard to get me to fit into the feminine stereotype, and I've tried myself too but I can't get myself to do anything vaguely feminine willingly. I do dress up when I have to to meet social expectations and all of that, but its definitely not me. About a month ago I had this "revelation" where I thought, oh this isn't me. And I've been thinking about who I am since. I had a pretty emotional reaction that is very unlike me, which makes me believe that whatever I'm feeling is real.

I'll could go on describing my situation but I'd rather get to the point, I'd talk about more stuff in private if anyone would care to help.


My question is: From what I've gathered so far, being trans isn't a sin if it is the result of gender dysphoria or GID (are they the same, are they not?) On the other hand, being a masculine/butch female (that also happens to be gay) is a sin, as crossdressing and acting like the other gender is forbidden. The current state of my brain is unsure of whether I'd say I have dysphoria (although I'm not a big fan of my chest) but I know I loathe anything that's feminine. If the choice is available to me to choose between male or female, I'd choose to be male. But do I have that choice if I'm not "severely" gender dysphoric?

I'm still working through my thoughts, going to therapy and all that, but I'd really appreciate some input.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi darkblade,

Firstly, may I suggest, in order for you to make sense of yourself, drop all the labels. Gay, straight, feminine, masculine, Muslim, crossdressing, lesbian, butch etc. They will only help to confuse and frustrate you. Focus on just how you feel and relate to your own feelings of who you are.

Secondly, avoid any and all religious dogma regarding what's right or wrong. Most dogma is incorrect at the best of times, and has only been conceived to satisfy someone else's inadequacies.

In answer to your questions. Gender dysphoria and GID. are the same. ->-bleeped-<- is NOT a choice. You do not have to have "severe" GID to qualify. ->-bleeped-<- is an in utero genetic defect, like any other in utero defect ( cerebral palsy, autism, spina bifada, Aspergers etc) with the correct diagnosis, a satisfactory outcome and productive lifestyle is very achievable.

Best wishes, and stay connected.

Huggs
Catherine

[darkblade]

Hi,

Thanks for your reply Catherine. I guess I wasn't clear, but mostly I want to know what to religious stance is because I think it would be the only way to come out to my parents. I know it's not a choice, and I doubt many people would choose it if it was, but since I'm sort of religious it would help me feel at ease with myself a little. The way I see it, the only way I'd practically be able to transition is if it were permissible in Islam, for various reasons including my own peace of mind and avoiding getting disowned...

You mentioned a correct diagnosis, and that is what I'm afraid of. That I won't get diagnosed because I don't exactly "hate my body."

I don't know if I'm making any sense..

[kelly_aus]

I had little or no hatred for my body.. I just knew it wasn't right. I still transitioned and I've done just fine. At no time was my being OK with my body an issue for my therapist..

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi darkblade,

You don't have to hate your body to be properly diagnosed with dysphoria. A clinical psychologist who knows about ->-bleeped-<- will provide the correct diagnosis.

As for the religious side of things, Im not knowledgable on the precepts or dogma of Islam. My only point on this matter relates to whether Islam acknowledges biological defects in humans. If it doesn't acknowledge the propensity for evolutionary abnormalities then you're going to have a problem. You'll then need to find a well supported medical platform on which to base your argument. As it will end up being an argument if Islam doesn't support it, no matter which way you view the topic.

Any ideology based on illogical concepts will never agree with established facts, no matter how hard you try.

Don't be discouraged, use this time and opportunity to strengthen your own resolve. And foremost, stay connected.

Huggs
Catherine

[darkblade]

Thank you!