This thread's title makes me imagine a cartoon where a family is running out of their house with their arms in the air screaming "Oh, no!. Our child is 'non-binary'-- whatever the heck that means!"
Dilemmas such as yours fascinate me. It very much reflects the level of social conservatism of yourself and those around you. I did grow up in a fairly conservative family, but formed a liberal attitude toward lifestyle early on and I can't imagine most of the families I've spent time with in much of my life having any crisis over this sort of thing.
You are non-binary, but have a "female mode"? OK. I'm guessing you've got a lot of ironing out to do over the next few years. I sense you have a lack of certainty about yourself and that pretty much always leads to problems when trying gain the acceptance of others. When you suddenly start looking very different-- such as presenting as a different gender-- it's obviously going to be a bit disconcerting to people. A gradual transition into who you feel you are would probably have worked better, though that's not easy if you have a conservative either/or mentality. It's not easy to go through mixing traits of two genders, but if that's who you are, in the end I think it's easier for people to accept than if you seem be pretending to be someone else-- either way.
