do you have a safe back up plan in case you can't meet your required results

[stephaniec]

I know some have rigid views of " PASSING ", personally I consider myself "PASSING ' as long no one throws stuff at me while walking down the street because I have a medical condition that needs healing. just curious for those with more rigid views if you have a safe back up plan if you find you can't meet your own perception of ' PASSING '

[Brenda E]

No safe backup plan.  Kind of scary to think about really.

[mrs izzy]

I think way to much talk about passing.

It is subjective and can be self destructive.


I feel do your best and move forward and tell everyone to go......

Everyone is there own and should with pride accept it.

Passing is what one does on a highway.

Just me and my life experience.

[Jill F]

My required result was not being miserable anymore.  That happened pretty much right away after going on HRT.  Everything else was just gravy.

Mmmm, graaaavy... *drool*

[antonia]

I guess my backup plan is to present as non binary, you can still be funny, attractive, interesting and intelligent without presenting as one of the binary genders. I used to fear this possibility but I now see it as my second best option

[immortal gypsy]

I would let the world see me as they wish to see me. If most see me as female that's great, if some see me as male that will be ok. Internally I know who I am I will not be judged by others standards. As long as I can walk outside talk to someone and hold my head up high and be happy, I've passed. We are only around here for a short time and we spend a long time grinning at that lid. I plan on living every single day happy as me

[stephaniec]

I would let the world see me as they wish to see me. If most see me as female that's great, if some see me as male that will be ok. Internally I know who I am I will not be judged by others standards. As long as I can walk outside talk to someone and hold my head up high and be happy, I've passed. We are only around here for a short time and we spend a long time grinning at that lid. I plan on living every single day happy as me

ditto

[Erica_Y]

Nope, other than keep moving forward. Failure is not an option for this girl!

[evecrook]

my back up plan would be to continue down the path of HRT and to feminize as far as genetics takes me, because I have no money for anything else.  I wouldn't even worry about clothing. All I need is for my face to feminize as much as possible. the estrogen in and of it self is my freedom. I'd like to have as many benefits from estrogen , but I'm just grateful to be finely on it.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

my back up plan would be to continue down the path of HRT and to feminize as far as genetics takes me, because I have no money for anything else.  I wouldn't even worry about clothing.

I had an orchi. But I more or less felt the same way. I tend to dress really plain.

[Lady_Oracle]

My required result was not being miserable anymore.  That happened pretty much right away after going on HRT.  Everything else was just gravy.

Mmmm, graaaavy... *drool*

My thoughts exactly..now I want buttered biscuits and gravy *mega drool 

[LizMarie]

I didn't fret about failure. I just moved forward constantly reminded by my girl friends that I was going to be fine. And they were right.

[Ms Grace]

Invent a lifelike humanoid female bio-synthetic robot or clone into which I can upload my consciousness. You didn't say it had to be realistic, did you?

[JoanneB]

I know some have rigid views of " PASSING ", personally I consider myself "PASSING ' as long no one throws stuff at me while walking down the street because I have a medical condition that needs healing. just curious for those with more rigid views if you have a safe back up plan if you find you can't meet your own perception of ' PASSING '

After having spent the first dozen or so years of my life being laughed at and worse for a half dozen or so reasons having nothing to do with being trans, my Plan A has always been no rock throwing. Twice in my early twenties when I experimented with transition being hypersensitive and hyperaware of any to all ridicule derailed those attempts.

Perhaps my Plan B was to wait, to grow, to unlearn bad thinking, learn better, healthier ways to think. Today when I walk the streets and I catch a somewhat too long of a stare I can easily, and sometimes do, jump right to "I've been clocked". Then reality sets in when I remind myself I am tall, slim, dressed nicely (usually in a skirt) in a land of 5'5" way overweight, women and even teens, that only wear jeans and a tee shirt. So tell me again why that woman or that guy may be looking at me?

So far I've been lucky, no verbal insults. No slights at all when out in public. If/When it occurs, part of this Plan B is just try to ignore them and move on. I achieved my lifelong dream of being seen as and accepted as a woman. Perhaps having had as a good friend a woman who was more manly then many males, including height, as well as from other female friends how often gg's even get told they are guys helps.

[suzifrommd]

If I lose my passability (or it ends up far short of what I think it is), I'll be myself regardless. That would make me unhappy, but I would hold my head high and show people that the face of transgender is intelligent and PROUD.

[Ev]

I have learned that since I let go of expectations, things have become a lot less stressful.  After doing that, there is no "backup plan" for me anymore.  "Be like water!" sensei once told me hahahaha.  This principle goes far beyond punching and kicking...it also can be applied to attitude or perspective, which weighs (or not) on our expectations.

Now, I'm not saying have "no plan".  What I mean to say is that we can't control the universe completely, so to worry about "passing" or even getting the bottom surgery or not for me is to possibly set myself up for a world of hurt.  I don't expect any of these things...but I am human and do like it best when things go my way.

[Alex Eli]

i dont really get the responses in this thread. and if almost every transgender woman think like this.

so you all are just gonna pretend that part of your life never happened once you are done? 

for me it's just becoming myself and live the life i want. not what others want me to be. if i can see myself as my true gender thats enough. but i know im always trans and its something to be proud of that you got through a transition.

i hope i can get through it. im only in the beginning and already hit a bump in the road because i moved too fast xD

[antonia]

It's not about being proud or not, I'm proud of who I am and where I came from but I would like to have the option to decide who I tell about my past, walking down a street in public and blending in is something that I desire.

I don't let the fact that I am transgender define me, it's a major part of my life but there are many other aspects to me that I feel are just as important and just like I don't need for everyone I walk past to know about those parts of me they don't need to know I'm transgender unless I choose to share that with them.

i dont really get the responses in this thread. and if almost every transgender woman think like this.

so you all are just gonna pretend that part of your life never happened once you are done? 

for me it's just becoming myself and live the life i want. not what others want me to be. if i can see myself as my true gender thats enough. but i know im always trans and its something to be proud of that you got through a transition.

i hope i can get through it. im only in the beginning and already hit a bump in the road because i moved too fast xD

[JoanneB]

i dont really get the responses in this thread. and if almost every transgender woman think like this.

so you all are just gonna pretend that part of your life never happened once you are done? 

for me it's just becoming myself and live the life i want. not what others want me to be. if i can see myself as my true gender thats enough. but i know im always trans and its something to be proud of that you got through a transition.

i hope i can get through it. im only in the beginning and already hit a bump in the road because i moved too fast xD

I am always trans and always will be
I am 6ft tall and always will be
I am big boned and always will be
I am balding and only will be more so
I am a loving person and always will be
I am a brilliant engineer and always will be
I am eager to help others, to solve problems and always will be.

There are lots of things I am. Some I like, some I don't. Just the way life is. Plenty of things I like about my life, some I don't. A good 80% of what defines me as me will not change. To deny my past is just another way of denying myself. Just in a different way then denying I am Woman.

I think what most of us are saying is we learned that if you are not at peace with yourself and who you are there will be unwanted anxiety in your life. Especially if you let the negative aspects of your life define you, not the positive ones.

I am a life long transperson having lived with the shame and guilt I allowed to define me for decades. Only after working hard to bring together these two great aspects of myself have I become one whole healthy and happier person.

[DelKay]

Idk. Who prepares for failure. Sounds like a bad practice one.
As long as I look femme to myself and don't sound like a man, ill be happy.