I feel like my dsyphoria controls my life

[kittylover]

It controls what I wear
It makes me come out to people faster
It makes a dinner with my family seem like a nightmare because they're all going to misgender me over and over......,,
I'm tired of being controlled
does anyone else feel this way?
people who've done hormones and/or surgery -has this feeling gotten less for you?

[suzifrommd]

people who've done hormones and/or surgery -has this feeling gotten less for you?

Transitioning to live as a woman helped.

I was happy with the results of hormones and surgery, but I didn't do them to address dysphoria.

[Jessica Merriman]

It controls what I wear
It makes me come out to people faster
It makes a dinner with my family seem like a nightmare because they're all going to misgender me over and over......,,
I'm tired of being controlled
does anyone else feel this way?

All the time before transition sweetie. ALL the time! 

people who've done hormones and/or surgery -has this feeling gotten less for you?

It lets me deal with it so much easier. Instead of getting fighting mad I now have the patience to treat it like a mild irritation. Dysphoria never goes away and only gets worse as the years go by. I get satisfaction by understanding I am now truly happy, healthy and loving who I am now. I am a MUCH better person all the way around and get up with a smile every day knowing I will learn something, experience something or just comprehend something new and exciting. 

[Illuminess]

It sort of controls mine at the moment. My friend Albert has begged me to go with him to the Renaissance Festival this year, but as much as I'd love to go I know that I would have to endure hours of being misgendered. That would take the fun out of everything. We might have some fun, humorous moments, but then someone will "sir" me and I'll just immediately want to leave. I just don't have the clothing, the makeup, the voice or anything right now to feel comfortable going out to a huge social environment like that. My day gets dragged down just by going into Starbucks in the morning and hearing, "Good morning, sir. What can I get for you?"

I told him that I promise I will go next year, because I'll be in a better place by then. I'll have had almost a year of HRT, lots of new clothes, and plenty of time to have feminised my face and my voice. I even skipped an amazing costume ball last month. People just need to let me do what I need to do, and stop trying to drag me into things. I appreciate that they want my company, especially since that's generally a rare thing that happens to me, but once you realise and accept that you are trans the dysphoria just skyrockets. Plus, I'm a perfectionist. I don't want to "half-ass" anything.

[PucksWaywardSon]

It controls what I wear
It makes me come out to people faster

in 6 months I've gone from "I can be from bed to out the door in 3 minutes" (because I just didn't really care) to taking an hour just to feel presentable to the world. And I've come out as at least questioning to so many people in the last 2 weeks I've lost count. I'm like a stuck record with one topic of conversation to all those people... and barely talk at all to the ones who don't know.

I'm getting the impression this is pretty well par for the course, but some days are better than others. On the bad days it seems impossible and almost laughable to hear "take it one day at a time" but... I guess, when you do get those better days when you can breathe for a while, take time for you and make that time well spent.  I obviously can't say if it gets better or not, but I can cetainly empathise with dysphoria skyrocketing just by the simple act of recognising it for what it is.