preface: im not on hrt yet and cant start hrt till the beginning of summer, but ive started voice practice and one-touch electrolysis on some non-facial areas. im still very much not public with my true self yet. still very much a, hide in the bedroom with the doors locked. so i have a couple bra's and foam inserts that i use with a very baggy shirt to somewhat hide them (more later on hiding them) just around the house and in my bedroom.
so, I would say from what ive been reading and heard, i am a very fortunate one. so far ive come out to my mom, step-dad, and sister who are all accepting of my "decision". and ive come out to 3 of my older online/long-distance friends, including my ex that i still talk to (weird situation as we never actually broke up, just realized we werent going to actually get to see eachother) anyways.
but my oldest and closest friend of mine of almost 9 years (im 25 1/2 right now so, over 1/3 of my life kinda old friend) who happens to also be my roommate currently, that ive been hiding myself from. i think he's partially caught me a few times. hes walked in while i had one of the forums up that i was reading a couple months ago (obvious GIANT TEXT on the screen that he caught and asked what it was. which i was partially honest, i told him it was a lgbt support website. i usually leave the bra on but take off the inserts when i have to go out of my bedroom (hes currently bumming the futon in my livingroom, so i have to walk past him on his computer to do anything) hes seen me a few times when ive forgotten to take out my inserts and i could see i get a weird look from him.
but why, though hes my oldest and most trusted friend, that i keep trying to talk to about it, i cant even like... when i decide imma tell him what is going on, i cant even get my mouth to open like. my brain just completely shuts off and wont let me say anything.
hes currently signing up to go into the navy, and gone for the day to take the ASVAB while im writing this post. and i want to tell him before he ends up moving out so badly. but dont want to lose him as a friend.
im not a particularly social person, and i tend to be the kinda person that has very few friends but very close ones. most of my friends now being online or having moved far away. so he is currently literally. my only actual friend since my other one stoped talking to me for unrelated unknown reasons. (i dont consider the people at work i am friendly with to actually be friends. though they technically would be) (i have really high requirements before someone gets to hold that title in my book)
and side note. no, he is not someone that ive ever been interested in a gay relationship with or had fantasies about. ~pukes~
anyways. how should i try to talk to him about it? i definately dont want it to end up happening that he leaves, and i drop the bomb on him like. a year into hrt when he shows up to visit.
