Someone is Suicidal: Need Advice & Help

[Amato]

I take all threats to commit suicide seriously.

On a transgender support group on facebook someone posted a stranger's FB page in an effort to bring awareness to this individual's situation. If I take the posts on this persons FB page at face value it seems that they've experienced abuse from friends, family, and officials (And mostly due to their gender identity and sexuality). Apparently the abuse is so constant that they have decided to end their life. I am currently trying to get in contact with this person to try to help them. I am looking into suicide support websites and hotlines to see if there's anyway I can get professional help with the situation.

That being said I would like any and all advice you can give me on how to handle this. Are there any websites or hotlines you know of that can help with this? I am looking at the suicide sticky thread, but any additional help is appreciated. I've sent the person an friend request and also want to write them a PM, but I'm stuck on what to say. I don't want to make the situation worse.

Has anyone dealt with something like this before? What did you do?

[Rachel]

There is a sticky on the top of this subforum with suicide support information and numbers.

If your friend request is accepted then I recommend ( I am not an expert on the helping side, only the receiving side, so take this with a grain of salt) they get out of their present situation and get to safety. Since puberty I stood on train bridges and very high buildings because life was difficult to take and when my coping was not working I was there facing death. I would plan and then execute the plan to a point. When at the event horizon after 30 minutes or so I had a reset and became calm. However, in December 2012 I had reached a breaking point and did two suicide attempts in two days. They were spontaneous as a situation presented itself and as my coping ability was overloaded and I was in so much pain I just wanted it to stop and I did a spontaneous attempt and the pain ended after the event.  Problem I was afraid that this had become my new coping mechanism. Another attempt and a tractor trailer may not be able to stop that time. So why did I attempt and what can help to cope? I attempted suicide when my coping was overwhelmed and I had extreme mental anguish. I could not find a way out. So I got help to cope, sounds simple but  has been 2 years of therapy and 1 year of group and me slowly becoming myself. In this persons case it sounds like they need to find a way to get out of where they are to an accepting safe place.

[Ms Grace]

I can't add much to what Cynthia has said, it's a shame FB doesn't have Report Suicide Threat button. If you can get them talking that is good. People who don't talk about their plans are the ones you really need to worry about. Good luck but please don't hold yourself responsible for their actions if you are unsuccessful - you've already done more than this person's so called friends.

[Amato]

Thankyou for your insight Cynthia. It's helped me understand the situation a little more. I'm going to pm the person and let them know I understand how they feel and that I am willing to listen to them if they need support. I'm gonna link them to the Trevor Project hotline. Hopefully they'll call the line and a professional can help them.

Ms Grace:
Funny you should mention that. I just found that FB does have such a thing. I reported the suicide posts. Hopefully FB can help them in some way too.

[Amato]

Just an update. A friend of this person is a member of the FB support group and alerted everyone they know and the authorities of the suicide situation. The police are at the house of the person right now. Hopefully things will turn out okay.

[ImagineKate]

Sometimes professional intervention is needed. Sorry to hear about it but hopefully the person can get help and realize they are not alone.

[adrian]

I hope they're ok (as far as that's possible in this situation) and the intervention didn't come to late.

[suzifrommd]

You may have read about the new suicide hotline for transgender people. Article was here: http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2014/11/23/us-dedicated-transgender-suicide-hotline-launched/. Wouldn't hurt for you to call and ask them for advice.

If you get in contact with this person, the best thing you can do for them is to listen. Let them know you understand what you're feeling. I used to work on a suicide hotline, and I found that with suicidal callers, if you listen and really care about what's going on with them, that alone goes a long way to helping them find another way out.

You are a caring person.

[Amato]

Thanks everyone, and especially thankyou Suzi. I'll look into that website for sure, and I definitely made it clear to the person in my pm that I was there to listen if they needed to talk.

Unfortunately the individual deleted their FB page and probably didn't read my message. A friend of this person's was on the fb transgender support groups page and told me and the other members that the person had a second page. On that one the 'About' page had a message stating that the person would commit suicide on the 20th of this month specifically. Members tried reaching this person on that page as well, but I don't think anyone got a response.

A little later the friend posted this: "Okay. The police called me. ***** opened the door and talked to an officer. He said he has an appointment Thursday with his therapist and looked the officer in the eye and promised he would not hurt himself before the appointment. He said that ***** was pleased with the contact he had with that officer, that he was treated very well."

I am somewhat relieved, but this person can't be out of the woods yet. What makes me hopeful is that this friend seems care alot, and if their messages indicate anything it's that this person has many friends who care about him. I'm keeping my eye on the fb page every now and again. Not sure I'll send another message I don't want to be invasive, but if they write another suicide note I want to catch it so I can do something.

[BreezyB]

Ok, that does sound like there was a glimmer of hope there.

Back to the facebook thoughts, I wonder if reporting a comment as slander or something. But there are a few links on FB regarding reporting:

https://www.facebook.com/help/175909845799306

Violations
https://www.facebook.com/help/263149623790594/

To seam loosely, it may be best to look at such a post as a violation of FB policies and report accordingly, of course with most appropriate detail.

Bree