living in fear

[Dandy Dunker]

If I had a choice I would lay in bed and not leave my house for anything because going outside is not worth being misgendered,  it is too painful and I just feel that people are mean , rude,  ignorant and whats the point of going to school and getting looked at or misgendered I rather stay inside because i'm afraid of sticking out I wish I was ho meschooled instead  there's no point to be around others it's stressful and crossing the line for me

[Orangaline]

I'm sorry, i know how you feel!

i myself am homeschooled, and due to my cr@ppy guardian im not even in school right now so i wish i could tell you its better, but honestly im not sure at this point:/

but i stray from the topic.

school does suck, its why i was taken out. not exactly for being misgendered but for bullying alone so i feel you on the whole, "i wish i was somewhere else constantly" thing.


im sorry im rather new so i dont really know you but hi, im O.

a little scatterbrained tonight, sorry.

But i really so feel for you, just hang in there, everything is gonna be okayits just another day. Every day that you keep tuckering on is a day worth rewarding. LGBTQ people tend to have it the hardest now a days becaus ewe have our own struggles on top of people not understanding us, but i think anyone who makes it through the crowds of people against them is someone very worthy of a wonderful life.


so in a sums, keep tuckering on! things get better:)

~O

[Polo]

I've definitely had those days, days where I just could not handle the possibility of being misgendered. It gets better, though. You get better at walking and talking and seeming like your preferred gender, and people will read you that way more and more.

Did you mention before that your parents knew and are supportive, or was that hypothetical? Because transitioning socially can help some people a lot (YMMV) but I second the gender therapist, they can be extremely helpful.

[Adam (birkin)]

These types of days nearly drove me to the edge. I really feel your pain! I can't say it's easy but it's worth it to keep going out, because the day will come when you DO start passing regularly - but you can't be confident in your own passing unless you put yourself out there! I believe I began to look entirely male around May-June last year, but I didn't feel 100% secure in my passing until almost a year later, because I didn't go out enough to hear people call me "sir" and say things that indicated to me I was seen as male by everyone around me.

[Jeatyn]

I'm sorry, all I can really say is I know how you feel. I didn't realise I was trans while I was in school but I was bullied for every long miserable day I was there (which was as little as possible when it was up to me).

My family members used to say stuff like "try to enjoy yourself and make some friends because you'll look back and think of school as the best years of your life when you get older!" .... I used to think, jesus christ I hope not. If this is the best it's going to be then seriously, what is the point? You're telling me I've reach the high point of my life when I'm barely into my teens and it's all downhill from here? No, I refuse to believe that. 

My point is, this is not the prime of your life. I've always been able to maintain a shred of hope even in my darkest hours that things will be better someday. As long as you can hold on to that hope and keep moving forwards it will get better. Take little steps towards doing things that will make you happy. I'm genuinely, truly happy with life now - it was a long hard road to get there but I feel like I can better appreciate what I have now. I don't have a lavish or exciting life by any means but I have a happy life as the person I always wanted to be. All those crappy years are a distant memory.

[Brandon]

Ok not to sound like an ass but your way to soft and in this world you have to have alittle hardness to you like its ok to be sensitive to certain things but honestly I am can't sympothize with you nor will I because you need to get over the fact that yes people will be rude but you needa quit caring about what eveyone thinks and be you, its gotten me all the respect in the world to tell my school yes I am am a young man, your letting others hold you back and where is that getting you, NO WHERE! everyone gets talked about in there lifetime and someone will always find something negative to say about you, but as long as you know who you are should it really matter. Yea I was like you but one day I said I am not letting anyone hold me back from my happiness and Imma do me, who cares about others oppinions, you ain't gotta please them you need only need to please the ones you love. As my friends told me through this whole process which alot of people here hate it being said but they told me to man up and grow some balls and I did just that and gained all the respect in the world, people stick up for me when there are few ignorant comments I can still get girls, I have alot of friends and they see me as 100% me male.

[JourneyFromConfusion]

Ok not to sound like an ass but your way to soft and in this world you have to have alittle hardness to you like its ok to be sensitive to certain things but honestly I am can't sympothize with you nor will I because you need to get over the fact that yes people will be rude but you needa quit caring about what eveyone thinks and be you, its gotten me all the respect in the world to tell my school yes I am am a young man, your letting others hold you back and where is that getting you, NO WHERE! everyone gets talked about in there lifetime and someone will always find something negative to say about you, but as long as you know who you are should it really matter. Yea I was like you but one day I said I am not letting anyone hold me back from my happiness and Imma do me, who cares about others oppinions, you ain't gotta please them you need only need to please the ones you love. As my friends told me through this whole process which alot of people here hate it being said but they told me to man up and grow some balls and I did just that and gained all the respect in the world, people stick up for me when there are few ignorant comments I can still get girls, I have alot of friends and they see me as 100% me male.

Aside the grammatical errors and some stuff I disagree with, this is my general sentiment. Misgendering happens regardless if you're trans or not and there are so many other battles to be fought. Maybe it's because I grew up being bullied or the fact that my parents let me know early that life wasn't going to be easy, but misgendering/teasing won't keep me in bed all day. It may bother me, it may upset me and make me shyer and quieter, but I can't stay in bed all day. It's not plausible and I know life is going to only get harder.

[Adam (birkin)]

Misgendering happens regardless if you're trans or not

I didn't have this in my original reply but I think this is a good point. Now, when I never passed, misgendering hurt really really bad. But there does come a point when it takes on something different and it doesn't bother you anymore. For example, I've been misgendered a few times on the phone at work, and my coworkers(who don't know of my past) laugh at the person who misgendered me because the thought of someone thinking I am a woman is ridiculous to them. One time recently I was misgendered in person at a restaurant (we were called "ladies") and the person I was with was like "did you...just call him a lady...?"

I know it's hard to think of it that way when you're not passing at all, but there will come a point where you're just like any other dude and while being misgendered is embarrassing, it's not a total affront to your manhood.

[stephaniec]

I'm a lot older and am transitioning in the same apartment building and small town downtown area I've lived at for 20 years . it would make my day if I didn't get miss gendered .

[Alexmakenoise]

Ok not to sound like an ass but your way to soft and in this world you have to have alittle hardness to you like its ok to be sensitive to certain things but honestly I am can't sympothize with you nor will I because you need to get over the fact that yes people will be rude but you needa quit caring about what eveyone thinks and be you, its gotten me all the respect in the world to tell my school yes I am am a young man, your letting others hold you back and where is that getting you, NO WHERE! everyone gets talked about in there lifetime and someone will always find something negative to say about you, but as long as you know who you are should it really matter. Yea I was like you but one day I said I am not letting anyone hold me back from my happiness and Imma do me, who cares about others oppinions, you ain't gotta please them you need only need to please the ones you love. As my friends told me through this whole process which alot of people here hate it being said but they told me to man up and grow some balls and I did just that and gained all the respect in the world, people stick up for me when there are few ignorant comments I can still get girls, I have alot of friends and they see me as 100% me male.

Just what I needed to hear today.  Thanks Brandon.