Dealing with awkward situations?(it's mostly a happy story)

[Luna Star]

Hey there all,

Many probably don't know me yet here but in any case, here is what happened Yesterday

I recently came out to my cousin (female) and while she was shocked. She was also really nice and supportive about everything .
After some more talking and practical issues, clothes for example which are hard for me to get by.
She offered to drive us (in spring when she is free) two to a shopping centre and get me some nice clothes, using her as an excuse (so I don't get eyed the whole time) and while this is just blowing my mind. And I literally cried tears of joy. There is one thing that keeps bothering me and she knows it too...

It will be extremely awkward, she is supportive and all that but. she will still see me in those clothes and all that. So ya, any advice to prepare me and perhaps also her for something like this?

[Ms Grace]

It might be a bit "weird"/awkward initially but you should find they'll adapt pretty quickly - that's been my experience when people saw me as Grace for the first time. Some were bemused, some amazed, some unsure what to say, many others never even batted an eyelid. In all cases it was over with pretty darn quickly because I wasn't acting self-conscious or embarrassed or uncomfortable. You essentially need to be the person who puts everyone else at ease has been my experience. If you act freaked out you had better believe they will be too!

[aylaliara]

It might be a bit "weird"/awkward initially but you should find they'll adapt pretty quickly - that's been my experience when people saw me as Grace for the first time. Some were bemused, some amazed, some unsure what to say, many others never even batted an eyelid. In all cases it was over with pretty darn quickly because I wasn't acting self-conscious or embarrassed or uncomfortable. You essentially need to be the person who puts everyone else at ease has been my experience. If you act freaked out you had better believe they will be too!

Have to echo this. You might feel a little dysphoric this first time, but push through it and try to enjoy it, and other people will follow.

[Luna Star]

It might be a bit "weird"/awkward initially but you should find they'll adapt pretty quickly - that's been my experience when people saw me as Grace for the first time. Some were bemused, some amazed, some unsure what to say, many others never even batted an eyelid. In all cases it was over with pretty darn quickly because I wasn't acting self-conscious or embarrassed or uncomfortable. You essentially need to be the person who puts everyone else at ease has been my experience. If you act freaked out you had better believe they will be too!

Let's hope so 

Have to echo this. You might feel a little dysphoric this first time, but push through it and try to enjoy it, and other people will follow.

And let's hope the same applies here

[Ms Grace]

How do you expect your cousin will be seeing you in female clothing? Presumably you won't be trying them on in the shop? If it's at home you might want to try the stuff on yourself first and feel comfortable with yourself before any big reveal.

Often we over think things waaaaay to much (like how people will react when we come out to them) and find that the reality was actually nothing to worry about. I'm thinking that will be the same here.

Practice makes perfect, these days I'm oblivious to what I'm wearing around other people about 99% of the time (whether I know them or not). About the only time I an a bit self conscious is when I'm getting more looks than usual, and I can't figure out if it's because they're reading me or because I look hot!

[Luna Star]

How do you expect your cousin will be seeing you in female clothing? Presumably you won't be trying them on in the shop? If it's at home you might want to try the stuff on yourself first and feel comfortable with yourself before any big reveal.

Often we over think things waaaaay to much (like how people will react when we come out to them) and find that the reality was actually nothing to worry about. I'm thinking that will be the same here.

Practice makes perfect, these days I'm oblivious to what I'm wearing around other people about 99% of the time (whether I know them or not). About the only time I an a bit self conscious is when I'm getting more looks than usual, and I can't figure out if it's because they're reading me or because I look hot!

haha , well I think I will have to try them on, how am I otherwise able to know if they fit well? And honestly I don't know how she would react, probs a bit shocked still since she wouldn't be used to see me like that

[Ms Grace]

That sounds like a plan. But I just want to check how you will be doing it...most change rooms are gender segregated, you won't be able to use the women's if you are presenting as male and presumably you won't want to be taking women's clothing into the men's to change into. It can be a bind. I actually took a guess at my size and bought a few cheap items online and then I had women's clothes to go shopping for women's clothing in! It's all about logistics!

[Jill E]

It's invaluable having someone like this willing to shop with you. There's a significant difference in the anxiety I experienced when I was shopping by myself verses shopping with a friend or family member there with me. If you are one to get anxious, I'd recommend getting a general idea of your sizes and taking things home to try (and obvs return what you dont like/want). Also, having someone with you at first can help ensure you're picking out appropriate outfit. I dont know how many other experienced this, but I found some of my tastes at first were a bit young for me (only by a few years, but in your 20's it makes a difference imo).

If you are wanting to use the changing room you identify with, I'd recommend getting a carry letter from your therapist. I've found a number of stores have gender identity policies in support of those transiting. Carry letters can also be helpful if you're ever pulled over and want to be addressed however you identify (among other situations). Depending on your area people can be pretty respectful.

[Luna Star]

I can't believe I haven't thought about the changing rooms which are split. Then again taking the girls clothes to the men side wouldn't be too big of a hassle, since it would look like I would be carrying those for my cousin. It helps that she kinda is as tall as me so . The problem with guessing is that. Well sure I can figure out my size, but not sure if it is just me or the clothing. Since sometimes you can get something in size let's say A and end up it being too small when it is too big on another piece of clothing just because the brand is different.

And to be honest if someone would see me going in the changing rooms with those clothes, that wouldn't be too much of an issue for me. Already have went to a store filled with women where I once encountered a classmate when I was buying makeup (and I skillfully avoided her )
And one time when I was looking for clothes/undies I came across my English teacher, and I was alone at that time. Took a ton of willpower to survive all of that though. The biggest issue for me is basically to get past most people without them raising an eye. (And having an "excuse" when I WOULD meet a relative)