Self Harm Problem

[perrystephens]

Okay, I haven't technically self harmed in about 8 months even though I still want to badly but I sometimes dig my nails into my skin on my arms and hands so deep and for so long they leave marks that last weeks. I didn't even connect it to my self harming until recently, I just decided it was a bad habit like nail biting or something, because its actually kind of a casual thing. I just do it whenever not thinking about it, but it started around the same time as I stopped cutting and burning myself, and I can't stop and I think people will start to notice the marks if they haven't already. I'm starting to think about going back to regular self harm so that way it can all be concentrated on my thighs and stomach where no one will see it. I don't get life-threatening dangerous when I self harm so even though I understand why it's a problem for my mental health probably, I don't think it would do any permanent physical damage except for leaving some scars that no one will ever have to see (i'm asexual, anyway). And I don't know what else to do to get that feeling again and to stop leaving claw marks on my arms and I've tried snapping a rubber band on my wrist and putting my hand in ice water until its numb and pretty much everything else and nothing works. Idk what to do... And its not like extra scars really matter anyway because my thighs and stomach and even wrists are already covered in scars. Why shouldn't I? I know there's probably a good reason but I can't think of one. What else could I do to stop?

[Valleyrie]

I think it's a really big achievement to not have self-harmed in 8 months, so good on you for that. It would be great if you could keep it up obviously but if you do get to a point where you start doing it again just make sure you stay safe please. I was going to suggest the rubber band and ice method but you've seemed to already tried them to no avail. Do you currently see a therapist? I think they'd be much more helpful in this matter. If you live with anyone who knows about your self-harming and is supportive you can get them to hide or at least remove the tools you use from sight to reduce the temptation (or you can talk to them).

Does digging your nails into your skin help to replace that feeling of cutting? Maybe you can do it a little less harder and be more aware of when you are doing it. You can get a red pen and draw red lines where you usually cut to simulate it - just a suggestion. Try your hardest not to if you can, distraction is key here. If you find your mind wandering too much try to occupy it with other thoughts (positive ones preferably) and try to be mindful. Do things that you enjoy doing when these thoughts cross your mind. Have something nice to eat or drink. You could even try taking a cold shower.

I know self-harming can help to cope but it's only a short-term solution that leaves scars and isn't good for your mental health in the long run. If you want to try and make your scars less apparent you can rub lemon on them, I heard that works to reduce their visibility. I wish I could help more, take care.

[Devlyn]

Congratulations on the eight months milestone, perrystephens! Not much I can add to what Valleyrie said, she covered a lot of ground. When I stopped drinking, it was just straight willpower. It's a good idea to celebrate your achievements and pat yourself on the back frequently. Keep checking in here and we'll pat you on the back, too!

Hugs, Devlyn

[MelissaAnn]

Perrystephens,
Congratulations on your milestone you deserve a lot of credit for this accomplishment because it is not easy to do. I do agree that a good psychiatrist is in order here because your need to self harm has some deep underlying issues that need to be addressed, please stay safe honey, know that you are accepted, cherished and honored by us here on the forum. I wish you nothing but the best of luck on your journey, sweetie, and may the Angels always look upon you and guide you on your journey.

Hugs,

Melissa Ann