sexual harassment and assault? (trigger warning)

[Vestyn]

Hi guys,

I started a similar thread about this topic in the non-binary forum, but I'm mostly interested in hearing stories from masculine FAAB-people and I assumed this'd get a wider audience. I apologize if this has been discussed before - it doesn't seem to be covered in the first few back pages of this forum, though.

There's been a lot of buzz in the lefty news lately about cis women getting harassed by cis men on the street. Also, less talk but still sobering statistics about the people who tend to get the most harassment and violence: trans women, especially trans women of color. I think we can put together why some cis men find trans women to be such a threat to their masculinity that they would react with such violence, but what about trans men?

Most trans men have stories - often from youth - of being bullied for not being girlish enough or a lesbian or whatever, but what about the kind of sexual harassment that happens to cis women on the street? Does it happen to trans men, too? Or the kind of sexual retaliatory violence that occurs when a man's "true sex" is found out (ala, Boys Don't Cry )?

I ask this because I'm recently post-op (chest) but I'm not on T, still dress and act feminine-ly sometimes - in short, I don't "pass" at all, and I'm non-binary; passing is not one of my goals. As a bit of a celebration to myself I recently took a long-awaited trip to the beach where I swam shirtless in men's swim trunks, fresh scars and pear-shaped hips fully visible, and got A LOT of stares along the way; mostly curious and suspicious, some downright lewd and hostile that made me very uneasy. Yet for the most part, I've found that the more masculine my gender presentation (that is, wearing a shirt...), the less attention on the street I receive.

How worried should I be about my safety? For those of you who don't pass, do you worry about this? Has the amount of "male attention" you receive changed since you started presenting in a more masculine way?

Thanks,
V

[Amathy]

So much about safety has to do with where you live and the type of people in those areas.  I encourage everyone to learn some self defense regardless of who they are or how they identify.  Thankfully since starting my transition I've become primarily invisible and poeple just leave me alone.  I get some odd looks when I do stuff people don't expect from my gender presentation but I live in a very liberal area.

[Ms Grace]

Although it would be nice to be safe, and to be honest we should be safe regardless, but all it takes is one creep or idiot who thinks they have the right to force themselves into our personal space either in a sleazy or bothersome or violent way and our safety is immediately compromised. You might be in the safest neighbourhood ever but it still only takes that one person to ruin and threaten everything. You have the right to be safe, but take care regardless because there are plenty who do not respect your right.

[Edge]

^What they said.
I did experience a lot of f-ed up attitudes (mostly from family and friends) when everyone thought I was a woman and I experienced a couple of rapes and a lot of coercion. I've barely encountered this as a guy.
That said, I know plenty of cis men who have been raped and/or molested (at least two of them by women). So even if it's less likely, it's still a possibility no matter what gender and it's better to stay safe than rely on statistics.

[Alexthecat]

Top surgery, no T here. Went to a local pool and did locker rooms and sauna with no trouble. I think they all thought I was a dude. No one asked about the scars.