Meeting with a therapist

[darkblade]

Hello,

So as of right now, I've been thinking about me possibly being trans (I'm thinking FtM) for about 3 weeks, I'm mostly just really confused. I began seeing a therapist about two months ago, and I've also had one meeting with a psychiatrist last week, but my therapist managed to get me an appointment that's in a couple of days with someone that's supposed to be very knowledgable about gender issues. Not sure if she's what you would call a "gender therapist," but according to my therapist she's the person to direct all my questions to.

I don't know if I'll be able to get another appointment with this therapist, and even if I could I don't know how frequently I'd be able to talk to her. It's going to be a videoconferencing appointment and an 8 hour time difference doesn't really help much. I was wondering whether you guys have any tips or ideas for how to make the most out of my appointment. Any questions I should think about perhaps? I can get pretty incoherent when I speak so I'll probably write everything I want to talk about down, but more importantly my own thoughts are incoherent and I might spend the next two days thinking of what I want to say, only to remember the actual stuff I wanted to say the day after.

Thanks 

[Rachel]

Hi Darkblade,

I would try to relax and just be honest do not hold back with you answers and questions.

The first question I was asked when I did intake was why do you think you are trans. 1 hours later and a lot of tissues I was done. I asked her do you have any other questions and she said no. She then gave me a name and number of a fantastic gender therapist.

[ImagineKate]

First question I was asked by the first therapist was where do I see myself in the future. I said I want to be an ordinary but beautiful woman. The second therapist I went to last week really only asked how long I knew I was trans... Never once was I asked if I doubted that I was trans. Probably because I showed up dressed en femme ? I really only cried once during the sessions we had and that was when I said that all I want is to be accepted and I am afraid of being a freak.

My advice - be honest but don't be afraid to ask for what you need.

[Alexmakenoise]

I second the recommendation to dress as your target gender. 

[darkblade]

So just dress the way I want to dress and be myself, yeah? My therapist suggested I make a list of questions I want to ask, but I should probably not overdo it and over prepare and list down everything I think may be peripherally relevant, right?

I've been keeping a diary for the last two weeks, just to keep track of my own thoughts and hopefully help me make sense of it all. I probably shouldn't go through and try to summarize it, should I?

Thanks guys 

[Jenelle]

I would try to relax and just be honest do not hold back with you answers and questions.

So much this.  This is the advice I took when first meeting with my therapist and it really help to see the tone for our relationship. If you are presented with a question you are not comfortable with just say so. I have done it a couple times and both times she helped me to find out why which was pretty awesome

[LuCyFuRs]

My appointment with a therapist is the Friday after Thanksgiving. I'm totally dressing normal (femme) for the initial consultation. I'm tired of hiding who I am. You may be a bit nervous but look at it like a baby step!! Your not a freak. I keep asking myself the same thing. No one on here is a freak! We just have a different path in our lives and some of us are able to walk down it easier than others. Just think about how better you will feel with all the stress gone. Think of it as walking down the path and stopping by a river and looking at the water pass by all the rocks. And all those rocks are the road blocks and doubts you had all this time. Thats how I think about things sometimes. It helps me alot! And lots of crying! I wish you the best!

Jenn

[ImagineKate]

Dressing up as your target gender is fine. I do it. The first session I did not as well as the session with my wife (because I didn't want to make my attire the focus of why I was there). But the other three sessions I did dress up as my target gender. However due to the fact that I was also going to work I did not go in a dress or skirt. I do go in a pair of women's jeans and women's tops or shirts. Again this is ONLY because I went to work and don't want to rock the boat too too much. Otherwise I would have showed up in a dress.

As for what it got me, maybe in my mind it got my therapist to take me a bit more seriously. I dunno. Each of the two I've seen did smile when I walked in dressed in my target gender. They also said I was in a good place. They also address me by my chosen (female) name.

And believe it or not I feel more comfortable and open up more when I'm dressed in my target gender.