Career Conundrum

[m1anderson]

I am about to begin HRT, and begin my journey. At my age, given mileage may vary, assume that I can "hide" the effects passing as male for a while given my conservative work environment.

Here is the conundrum... I am being courted heavily by a very traditional and conservative financial services corporation as part of a huge growth initiative, the opportunity is compelling. However, despite the corporate inclusive HR policies that restrict any difficulties I may have in the workplace, this conservative financial services corporate job will also be located in a politically backward state as well.

Any ideas if I should move forward?

[Cindy Stephens]

You don't really have enough info.  Would you be leaving a liberal, supportive company in a supportive state for it?  While I doubt that HRT effects would overwhelm someone I assume grooms up well, do you really want the stress of two (2!!) major life changes occurring simultaneously?  Overload.  Only you can make that decision, but I would want to pick one then establish myself in that choice.  I hope you have good luck in any one of the permutations of those choices you make. 

[MelissaAnn]

Hi Allie,

Just because a corporation says that they are LGBTQ friendly does not necessarily make it so. If they decide they want to fire you. They don't have to use the fact that your transgender to fire you, they will find another reason to do so. So I would say be very careful and weigh your options very carefully. This is a huge risk, but on the other hand, the rewards might be huge. Do you know anybody else in the Corporation? Do you know if there's anybody openly gay or lesbian in the Corporation. I would also see if you can talk with them to see what their policies are towards them. Just my opinion. So take it with a grain of salt. She nothing but the best of luck on your journey and may the Angels always look upon you and guide you on your path.

Hugs,

Melissa Ann

[Jerri]

I work at very conservative corp and live in a liberal state but a conservative agricultural county of that and am full time about 9 months,
I would totally recomend talking to the hr dept if you think you may like to consider the change
it will be better to have that support before in my opinion
it all depends on how you feel about the company and you

[Emjay]

I just went through a similar situation.  I was contacted by a company over the summer about a new job, it's a larger company though in the same industry (manufacturing/automotive) as my previous employer.  The new job was a step up from where I was and the new company has a very inclusive diversity statement but still, I'm early transition and wasn't sure what to do

I wasn't ready to go full time on day one, I wish I was but it is what it is....

Ultimately, I went through the interview process, negotiated everything and before accepting the position I came out to the recruiter explaining that if this would be an issue I would simply politely decline the position and move on.  She was very nice about it and put me in touch with HR.  After speaking with them and hearing what they had to say I felt much better about moving forward with accepting the new job.  They were *very* zero tolerance about any issues that may come up when I'm ready to go full time and said that it wouldn't be a problem whatsoever.

My previous employer *probably* would have been accepting (from a corporate standpoint anyway), but in everyday work/life I think it would have been very hard coming out there and transitioning so I personally don't feel like I had a lot to lose but that's just my situation. 

For me, I felt like this was the best way to handle it.  Just putting everything on the table before accepting anything and fortunately it worked out for me.  Of course, I've been at the job about two months now and am not planning on coming out until spring so we'll see how everyday life will be once that happens but at least I feel like the organization is supportive.

If it helps, I also live in a very conservative/politically backwards state.  TBH, that part worries me much more than the job at this point.

Best of luck, I hope whatever you decide works out for you!

[m1anderson]

Thanks ladies for all the great input about inclusivity and "overload" during transition.

I think Autumn makes a great point in talking with HR, prior to accepting, but I think I want to pursue the opportunity first to see if I get the latitude for and from the organization in myriad needs I feel the role exacts. If throughout the process in resourcing properly for the role and structure, the offer represents every thing I feel it must, then once the offer is presented I will take a walk to HR (which is ironically at Corporate on another campus).

It is an executive position within an organization with ten's of thousands of employees, so baby steps I guess. Also, as an executive situation with great exposure as a transgender in transition gal, I seriously need to decide if I can rightfully try pull this off without letting any one down, crashing and burning under my own pressure.

As always ladies, you are awesome, thanks.

[Christine Eryn]

A few years ago I made the mistake of putting my career in front of my transition/happiness. Never again shall I do that.

[LizMarie]

I'm going to be very unhelpful here and say "It depends."

For example, in many respects, Texas is a very backwards state for trans people. However, inside the major cities things can be pretty good, like Houston, Austin, San Antonio, or Dallas-Fort Worth. But out in the countryside? Even out in the nearby suburbs to those same cities? Not very friendly places.

And of course a state like Texas lacks a lot in terms of explicit legal protections for transgender people as well.

So in the end, "it depends" is probably all we can say without explicit info about where you are now and where you are going.

And have you looked up the new company in the HRC corporate index to determine how trans friendly they are supposed to be? Better do that too.

[suzifrommd]

I would agree with the advice to check with HR. Find out the policies of the company toward trans people. Some conservative places have progressive policies, especially if the do business in states that are more progressive.

Also look at the local climate. Maybe make contact with some of the trans people in the area you'd be working. Do they get harassed? Are people accepting? I wouldn't make assumptions based on conservative/progressive areas, because people are different everywhere.

Hope this helps.

[m1anderson]

LizMarie, great website to check HR rights, but alas, not much help.

This is a top 200 Fortune 500 company. According to the report, "Company has not responded to repeated requests to participate in the Corporate Equality Index survey", so there is not much information. All I can do is continue the dance to see if this is a viable opportunity, peruse an offer, then check with their HR.

This process usually takes about 12 weeks. Stay tuned.

Also, albeit this is a very conservative, and albeit "backwards" state, this opportunity is in a major city so there is a fighting chance for diversity. Suzi, getting there to check out the community will need to be a long distance search, I will not be flown there until later in the process; but, great ideas nonetheless.

[BreezyB]

I work for a large organisation in the agriculture industry. I'm in the head office so it's a corporate environment. The choice to transition at work was kind of a no brainer for me, I mean there was always only going to be so longer I could pull of a male persona at work. But the most compelling part, and a dear friend highlighted this too me, is the fact I wake up every morning and put on a a suit and shirt, effectively dressing as the gender I am not, so my dysphoria is actually getting worse the further I get into transition.

Regarding whether to do take the plunge or not. I'm transitioning or in the process of transitioning at work right now. I have another meeting with HR on Friday. I started by seeing whether the company has adequate policies in place, they do, which was great. I then looked into legislation around employment protection, and we have it available so that was great too. I then started planning. My transition at work is being done over approx 8 months. I'm working closely with HR, Management and my colleagues.

I was on a leadership pathway which was supported by the company. Most recently a promotion came up. I actually decided now wasn't the right time for me to take on more responsibility. Plus I would be line managing around 9 team members. I decided I have enough people to consider during my transition to also need to worry about the individual needs of my team. I'm already considering the impact of my transition on my colleagues so I just didn't need the added stress.

I've been on HRT now for 4.5 months and the changes are definetly noticeable. To the point a colleague asked if I was ok. Mainly skin was the most noticeable, and of course the longer hair. So now I'm starting to come out to the wider group. I've decided I'll communicate to people after considering, why am I telling them. Do I need them to do anything? So I'm not communicating just for the sake of it, rather being methodical in my communication plan with work.

I wish you the best of luck. You know, you may be pleasantly surprised. I already have been. Those I thought would support me, didn't, and some I thought world never support me, have in fact been a great support.

Hugs,
Bree

[m1anderson]

I was on a leadership pathway which was supported by the company. Most recently a promotion came up. I actually decided now wasn't the right time for me to take on more responsibility. Plus I would be line managing around 9 team members. I decided I have enough people to consider during my transition to also need to worry about the individual needs of my team. I'm already considering the impact of my transition on my colleagues so I just didn't need the added stress.

I wish you the best of luck. You know, you may be pleasantly surprised. I already have been. Those I thought would support me, didn't, and some I thought world never support me, have in fact been a great support.

Bree, thanks so much for the props.

Though admirable your consideration for others during your transition in not taking the promotion (I personally appreciate this), be very careful in the future passing on moving forward. As an Exec, we look for those that are willing to "buy all-in", show those in management above you (particularly if they do not know your personal reasons) that have acknowledged you potential to grow within the organization, to take on added responsibilities and challenges. When those above you recognize potential and begin to design an upward career track for you within the company, you must jump at the track or watch others, usually less competent, pass you by. Then envy and mixed feelings about the organization can become a personal psychological net negative affecting your performance and general feelings about your place in the company.

In the future, seriously consider how your choices affect your career/leadership  path, eventually, they may no longer see you as leadership potential (whatever, or how valid your reasons).  We all need resources to help with our transitions and make our lives easier.