Right now I'm just feeling so down.
I, I... I've lost my female voice. I mean I still have it and can somewhat use it but, for whatever reason, it's become
hard impossible for me to use it this last week, especially while having a conversation versus a word or two. I just realized this and recorded myself and no wonder the newish bosses were calling me a he.
(Though they quickly re-corrected themselves but it still hurt) I hope I can regain it, this, this is just horrible. It's bad enough my Dysphoria has been acting up and I'm having a tough time wanting to continue to live in this body under these circumstances especially seeing how I can't give birth, can't experience the exact feeling of how a vagina formed at birth feels and I hate looking in the mirror or at myself and seeing a man or any of this useless hair and thing on my body.
I'm sure I'll pull through this, just got to get my mind off it (Easier said than done) but I also know how fragile I really am and how easily I could do something stupid I'd regret. Dang! Why'd I have to be born this way!?
