Ties

[Orangaline]

What i discovered tonight:

Learning how to tie a tie spikes my mood to manic! I learned how to tie a tie and now im sitting in my room in an undershirt fighting dysphoria by wearing a bright blue tie. it has distracted me from my lack of a binder and made me fell snazzy 


learning it was really fun, it kept me occupied, and then when i was done i looked in the mirror and just smiled the life out of my face.


then i busted up laughing because i forgot i had been eating cheese-its and was so happy that i smiled with cheese-its in my mouth XD

~o

[darkblade]

Just felt like sharing something peripherally related..

A couple of months ago I was wearing a shirt that had this long piece of fabric around the collar that's meant to be tied into a bow. I like the fabric of the shirt, which is probably why I was wearing it, but I was having trouble figuring out what to do with the long thing at the collar and wasn't quite happy with having it in a bow. So I tied it into a tie and though it looked pretty odd and super long for a tie I was much happier with it.

Then my roommate saw me, laughed, and said, "why are you even wearing this shirt?"

Guess she noticed something was up before I did.

[bambam]

That's awesome man. I learned how to tie a tie when I was in high school, right before the homecoming dance. It was pretty awesome cause a lot of my guy friends didn't even know how to tie one so they came to me for help. It can be a real gratifying feeling to learn something, even as small as that. But that's also good that it helped with your dysphoria.

[Orangaline]

Just felt like sharing something peripherally related..

A couple of months ago I was wearing a shirt that had this long piece of fabric around the collar that's meant to be tied into a bow. I like the fabric of the shirt, which is probably why I was wearing it, but I was having trouble figuring out what to do with the long thing at the collar and wasn't quite happy with having it in a bow. So I tied it into a tie and though it looked pretty odd and super long for a tie I was much happier with it.

Then my roommate saw me, laughed, and said, "why are you even wearing this shirt?"

Guess she noticed something was up before I did.

im confused a little, was she being mean, or just wondering?

but what you said reminded me of whe i went shopping for ties,  i was about to grab a fake one and my cousin like hit my hand and was like " no thats a fake tie get these ones, " and started throwing a bunch of novelty ties at me XD

That's awesome man. I learned how to tie a tie when I was in high school, right before the homecoming dance. It was pretty awesome cause a lot of my guy friends didn't even know how to tie one so they came to me for help. It can be a real gratifying feeling to learn something, even as small as that. But that's also good that it helped with your dysphoria.

i totally feel ya on the whole gratifying part. its also reasuring because it reminds me that even though i was socialized as female i can learn things that some cis-males havnt!

[darkblade]

im confused a little, was she being mean, or just wondering?

but what you said reminded me of whe i went shopping for ties,  i was about to grab a fake one and my cousin like hit my hand and was like " no thats a fake tie get these ones, " and started throwing a bunch of novelty ties at me XD

She was just wondering why I was wearing a shirt I obviously didn't like xD Sometimes I feel like she knows me better than I know myself, even though we've been rooming together for just over 2 months. She's pretty awesome, probably my biggest supporter right now.

Yeah I have a bunch of fake ties from a long time ago... Should probably go and get some real ones..

[LordKAT]

I actually still have one of those ties with a zipper. and my bow tie has a collar.   Not all 'fake' ties are bad. I don't use the zipper one but usually like my flames and unusual or colorful ones.

[aleon515]

I have no where to wear one. Albuquerque is very casual. I'm pretty sure no one wears a tie even to a funeral. I should get a bolo tie, maybe have use for it.

I don't think ties are hard to tie, esp there's a knot called a four in hand. There are videos on how to do it on youtube. I watched a few of them until I saw one that was clear and easy to follow. Four in hand isn't elegant, but imo, looks a lot better than those pre-tied ones. I've got a learning disability which affects how I can learn that type of thing so, it's seems like most people should be able to pick this up.

--Jay

[Bran]

I bought some ties when I was just starting to figure myself out.  It was an awesome feeling-- I'd just wander around the house wearing a shirt and tie with no-one watching no one watching.  My area is so casual that only a few very old-school people wear ties to work, so I'd look pretty odd doing it even if I was presenting as male.  I wore a three-piece men's suit to a friend's wedding, complete with tie and pocket square. (One of the brides was in a suit and tie, too, though I'm pretty sure she just identifies as a lesbian.)

I hadn't consciously thought of wearing a tie as a way to counteract dysphoria.  But, you know? That's totally what it is for me, too.

[GnomeKid]

I'm kind of shocked that ties are such a thing people take onto in becoming male.  There seem to have been a good few posts about them lately.  No offense or anything intended towards the OP.  Congrats on finding something that works for you!  Any way to stop the mental anguish is good in my book. 


and congrats on actually learning to tie one.... it astounds me when people say they can't..

[aleon515]

 Actually they aren't comfortable (esp for someone like me who doesn't like stuff up around their necks). I realize it is "power wear" for men, showing people you are in charge, so to speak, of whatever it is you are in charge of, that is.

I do like to wear one (for awhile anyway), because it looks neat and dapper, though that's exactly why people in New Mexico don't really wear ties very often (unless you work for a bank or something).

It seems to read very male, which is another reason trans guys seem to like them, I mean as a group. I do know of lesbians that wear them but it still not entirely common.

--Jay

I'm kind of shocked that ties are such a thing people take onto in becoming male.  There seem to have been a good few posts about them lately.  No offense or anything intended towards the OP.  Congrats on finding something that works for you!  Any way to stop the mental anguish is good in my book. 


and congrats on actually learning to tie one.... it astounds me when people say they can't..