What can I do about my job???

[Kalynn_Michelle]

Hello everyone. I am currently about 2.5 months into HRT and things are happening rather quickly. I have a job, and I live in Maryland where it is illegal for an employer to discriminate against me based on gender identity. Beyond that it's a government job, so it's safe. I don't mind the job too much, and i almost wish i could stay awhile longer, but I am terrified at the prospect of transitioning there. The place is filled with a lot of macho guys that say misogynist things all day, gay bash, trans bash, and are generally very closed minded. I don't know of a single person there that I think would take it well, and i fear I am going to just be ostracized there soon. Now of course legally they can do nothing, but i even fear violence could be an option for a few of them :/ I have been searching every night, every lunch break, and whenever possible to find a job with a less testosterone fueled atmosphere but nothing pays comparably, and most lack benefits. The pay is important to me at this point because I'm going to be paying for electrolysis, voice therapy, and maybe ffs one day. Have any of you gone through a situation like this, and does anyone have some suggestions? I'm stressing out really bad over this the further i get into transition :c

[suzifrommd]

Welcome to Susan's, Kalynn from a fellow Marylander.

If you are subject to any harassment on the job, that is considered discrimination and legal action is available to you.

When you transition on the job, make sure you touch base with your supervisor and the HR folks. You might even tell them of your concerns and see if they have any advice. It is THEIR JOB to make sure you can do yours. It is also their job to make sure that your employer is not slapped with a major lawsuit, which is you will do if they condone, allow, or fail to prevent harassment due to your gender identity.

Does that help?

[barbie]

Your job performance, human nature and relationships with your colleagues are more important than your appearance. If you perform well, fewer people will alienate you.

I also once lived in MD where many people were Catholic, and some of them explicitly hated me. Fortunately, that kind of hatred based on religion does not exist in my country where Catholic are one of the most open-minded people.

barbie~~

[Alice Rogers]

Are your bosses approachable? Someone somewhere on the command chain might be understanding enough for you to talk to about it. The last thing they would want is negative publicity about discriminatory environment.

All it takes is for the right person to have quiet words with those that might be a problem and they would be afraid for their jobs.

Alice
xx

[Rachel]

I am out to HR, my boss and benefits as well as some co-workers.

My boss and HR said when the time comes we will gather the department and I inform them of my gender then I would leave the auditorium. Next they would go over the Harassment and Trans policy and reinforce it will be strictly enforce. I have about 1 more year, perhaps, then I will be in the open.

[Kalynn_Michelle]

Thank you all so much for the encouragement! The more people I talk to the more I keep hearing a similar sentiment; that being don't let the fact that they are uncomfortable drive me out. Given there are other reasons I'd like to move on, but the sense of urgency is much diminished. I will contact hr soon and let yhem know my plans. I hope it never comes to legal action, or others losing their jobs for harassment. I fear that puts me at a higher risk of bring targeted for violence. I think I'll just ride it out for now and keep an eye out for better jobs thanks again! You are a wonderful bunch <3

[Amy The Bookworm]

Thank you all so much for the encouragement! The more people I talk to the more I keep hearing a similar sentiment; that being don't let the fact that they are uncomfortable drive me out. Given there are other reasons I'd like to move on, but the sense of urgency is much diminished. I will contact hr soon and let yhem know my plans. I hope it never comes to legal action, or others losing their jobs for harassment. I fear that puts me at a higher risk of bring targeted for violence. I think I'll just ride it out for now and keep an eye out for better jobs thanks again! You are a wonderful bunch <3

You never know ... you making your company have to deal with this could improve things over all for your job! Let us know how it works out for you!

[Kyra553]

To be honest none of us live in  ideal places to transition. Many have it worse then others so enjoy the breaks you have from no options at all. Personally I live in a very difficult state to transition in (Kansas) we have no additional rights to gender identity and most are very anti gay umbrella. But that's not holding me from how I need to be nor should your place hold you back. So appreciate what you have because there is always somewhere worse. (Even I don't have it as bad as it could be)


Also welcome to the forum. ^_^ You will always have friends here to help you.

[Ms Grace]

Your workplace should provide a safe work environment. Are there other women there? How do they put up with misogynist talk and behaviour? I know how you feel though, I worked in a government department (hospital) during my first attempt at transition. I would have been covered by legislation but I didn't feel safe there due to a number of macho and immature men, this was despite the anti discrimation officer being lesbian. You have to feel safe.

[Kalynn_Michelle]

there aren't any other women there working in the field. what i do is roadside tree work, and i work alongside crews that do road repairs and such. there are females in the office at the shop, but none working out on the roads with us. I think you all are right though, and i should stick it out until something better comes along. Sometimes a little encouragement is all you need I guess

Ms. Grace, I'm kinda in the same position you were! I am safe as far as my job because of State law, but the entire place is macho immature men!

[Kyra553]

I work with convicted inmates everyday meaning many are murders and rapists. Let that sink into how hard it can be to transition. lol

[JoanneB]

Garret County?

Dealing with the big transitioning full time and employment is a big stressor. Protections are mostly meaningless. Even a union unless they are totally behind you. Management can always find a way to get rid of you. Become a too big of a PITA and they will try. Your recourse is to sue. Have fun finding a lawyer willing to do that on contingency in hickville, or anywhere.

Can you deal with doing part-time? Everywhere except for work? Part time does eat up a lot of emotional energy. But can buy you time to find other options

[Kalynn_Michelle]

I am actually not full time as is. I don't even go out presenting female usually. I've sort of placed myself in this awkward spot where I'm living at home, and working with highly homophobic people, but I had to start HRT for my mental well being. I'm out to everyone except my Dad and my fellow employees. So i can't be myself at home usually, and most of my coworkers live nearby (small town) so it makes things really hard. So yeah, I have no trouble being part time, my issue is going to be hiding certain features. My breasts seem to be growing significantly, as well as my hips. it's good because i'm pleasantly surprised at my body's reaction, but i might be outing myself to the rest of the world a bit sooner than expected. If for no other reason, I need to leave my job because it's physically injuring me on a daily basis now. I'm losing muscle and need to lift pretty heavy things, and it's not a good mix. I'm coming home exhausted and pulling muscles at least once a week :/ I'll figure something out soon I hope. In the meantime, if anyone knows a nice place in Frederick or Howard County (or somewhere near!) give me a shout

[JoanneB]

I do know from my TG Group members that Montgomery Cty is a great place for T's. They had a Trans protections in place for almost 10 years now I think?

[suzifrommd]

I'll figure something out soon I hope. In the meantime, if anyone knows a nice place in Frederick or Howard County (or somewhere near!) give me a shout

The Howard County school system is hiring substitute teachers. Not sure what their requirements are, but there is an anti-discrimination law in Howard County protecting gender identity.

[Kalynn_Michelle]

Thank you all for the suggestions! I'm still searching but have high hopes for a receptionist job for a government building with security guards! I'm hoping I get that. I can't imagine anything could be much safer in terms of dealing with visitors