gender shifting or just dsyphoria going up and down?

[kittylover]

sometimes I wonder if I'm actually genderfluid for several reasons- some days I want to dress like a guy , other days I dress more girly
some days I feel okay using the lady's room other days I can't bring myself to go in there
some days I feel sure that I want hormones and I hate how I look, other days I'm fine with it and feel sure I don't want hormones
about the only thing that stays the same is that being called she always hurts....
but I'm not sure if my actual gender is different on different days or I just have more dsyphoria on some days then others.
how do I know which one it is?

[Trying to be me]

Granted I'm pretty new to all this stuff but to my understanding, you sound very genderfluid to me. The fluid part means you move around, often from day to day, which explains by you want to represent at male on some days and female on others and why some days you can't bring yourself to go into the girls bathroom. The dsyphoria comes from your brain saying "hey I'm a guy, why are you wearing a dress or why do you have boobs?!" Or  similar thing when your brain is female. You may not realize that's why, thus the confusion. So the dsyphoria is coming from your genders changing.  Being gender fluid doesn't just mean you are neutral or both genders. It can mean you are male, female, both OR neither. At least, that's my understanding of it.

[Taka]

gender fluid is a dynamic gender. it changes for reasons that are often difficult to analyze or understand, and may not really be important at all.
dysphori is a dynamic thing too though. it can change unpredictably from weak to strong and back again. there will usually be more obvious reasons for why, like having worn gaab clothing for too long, having been called the wrong name or pronoun one time too many. or opposite, having been called the right things, or been accepted as oneself, or having successfully used the bathroom that feels right.

for some people, the answer hasn't started to reveal itself fully until hormones were tried.
the emotional or mental effects of hormones can vary a lot. what is important to remember if you try, is to listen if a voice starts telling you it's wrong. the wrongness can be a whole many things. it can be because the person isn't really transgender, needs other medical treatment than hrt etc.

i'm thinking that it's sometimes good to think less and be more.
take note of what you are and what you feel at all times.
this is the real you.

i have given up explaining my gender as fluid or queer or whatever. it's a non-binary sort, which means i have found that i cannot possibly live my life happily as one of the two binary genders. the least i need to not feel trapped, the same kind of trapped that transsexuals feel is what i suspect, is the ability to choose. knowing my apart from this isn't really all that important, tje rest of it become dealing with body part dysphoria, hormonally induced dysphoria. and from there, to just be who i am and like what i like at all times.
because i can like what i like independently of gender.

which sex do you want your body to have, and what gender do you want to present and live the role of, for the entire rest of your life?
if you have to choose one or the other, and you can even get it easily and without any resistance from anyonewhich would you choose?
when i thought about it for a moment oncei realized that having to make the choive was the most distressing thing for me. i can't imagine choosing once and then never having the opportunity to choose again.
but how do you feel about this?

[littleredrobinhood]

I've been having a similar experience, but for me it was a bit clearer that my gender because of my constant daydreaming.  I've been imagining myself as a man pretty consistently for several years now, but here in the past couple of weeks, I've been starting to imagine myself as a woman on occasion.

And if you've seen my most recent thread, you'd know it really caught me off guard. The first time it happened, I wasn't sure it was even me.. It took me a minute to realize it, and when I did I was like "Wait wait wait wait wait - that's ME?! Why am I imagining myself as a woman?!".

It was sudden and strange, and I tried to resist it.. But I'm learning to just accept it, and stopped trying so hard to pin a label on it.


Which is what I think you should do - avoid trying too hard to put a label on what you're feeling. Trying to force it will do more harm than good (I learned that the hard way).

[Satinjoy]

gender fluid is a dynamic gender. it changes for reasons that are often difficult to analyze or understand, and may not really be important at all.
dysphori is a dynamic thing too though. it can change unpredictably from weak to strong and back again. there will usually be more obvious reasons for why, like having worn gaab clothing for too long, having been called the wrong name or pronoun one time too many. or opposite, having been called the right things, or been accepted as oneself, or having successfully used the bathroom that feels right.

for some people, the answer hasn't started to Yuri reveal itself fully until hormones were tried.
the emotional or mental effects of hormones can vary a lot. what is important to remember if you try, is to listen if a voice starts telling you it's wrong. the wrongness can be a whole many things. it can be because the person isn't really transgender, needs other medical treatment than hrt etc.

i'm thinking that it's sometimes good to think less and be more.
take note of what you are and what you feel at all times.
this is the real you.

i have given up explaining my gender as fluid or queer or whatever. it's a non-binary sort, which means i have found that i cannot possibly live my life happily as one of the two binary genders. the least i need to not feel trapped, the same kind of trapped that transsexuals feel is what i suspect, is the ability to choose. knowing my apart from this isn't really all that important, tje rest of it become dealing with body part dysphoria, hormonally induced dysphoria. and from there, to just be who i am and like what i like at all times.
because i can like what i like independently of gender.

which sex do you want your body to have, and what gender do you want to present and live the role of, for the entire rest of your life?
if you have to choose one or the other, and you can even get it easily and without any resistance from anyonewhich would you choose?
when i thought about it for a moment oncei realized that having to make the choive was the most distressing thing for me. i can't imagine choosing once and then never having the opportunity to choose again.
but how do you feel about this?

This.  Great post imo.

[kittylover]

About Taka's question- I feel like I would be very happy being seen as a male for the rest of my life (I would especially love to never be called she again....) However even if it was super easy I'm not sure if I would choose to have a male body. Sometimes I kind of like the one I have and other times I hate it. I definitely wouldn't like it if I wasn't ever allowed to be "girly" but that's just stereotypes anyway.not sure what that makes me....

[Taka]

i think that only makes you a little uncertain. which is rather common no matter which kind of trans a person is.
have you read the ftm forums a lot?
the guys there are everything from macho or borderline male chauvinist, to extremely femme.
there are those who don't want top surgery, many who don't want bottom surgery, but most would want hrt.

what if i pose a different question...
if it takes a beard (and only that) to be seen as male, would that be acceptable for you?
you can shave it every day if you want, it's the ability to grow one in just a few days that matters.