Scary my First aproaches to coming out at work

[ToniB]

Hi all I think I am aproaching a crossroads and will have to come out soon.Our firm has been running a Diversity and inclusion week and I was reading through the information and came across a link to a transgender helpline and could not help but send them a message asking for help and information .Now it has hit Me that this is getting to a crisis point and I am getting a little scared .I know it is going to get scary and difficult when the poop hits the Fan but I don't know if I can stop it or even if I want to stop it happening .But I am freaking out right Now I want this and need this but I am also terrified of the fallout both at home and to a certain extent at work .work maybe not as bad as we have several transgendered people on our site already but it is still a huge step to take.sorry to vent but I needed to let it out

[ImagineKate]

Did you talk to anyone at work? A good first step is to have a face to face meeting with an HR representative and ask about their policy. This will give you a feel about company culture and policies.

In my case it went extremely well as the HR director I spoke to brushed it off as not much of a big deal then said I just need to notify them when I'm going to present full time in my new gender at work. Name change, gender marker on ID not a big deal either. I do have to change them on my government issued ID first though. It helps that we have a very strong anti discrimination policy and we have a sit down with the lawyers every year or so to remind employees.

You can then proceed to come out to your direct supervisor and other coworkers as you see fit. In my case I'm going to have the conversation with my manager in a couple of weeks, but I've told my closest team mates already so they aren't too alarmed by changes.

[Rachel]

I came out to my Operations Manager (friend for 27 years). I was very emotional and he was very supportive. Next HR then Benefits and both were very supportive. Then the EX VP. He was ok but it shook him, he is bigoted and over the next year he said some pretty bad things due to ignorance. I guess he is ok now, he promoted me. I told him if and when I change my name or wear a dress I will let him know a few weeks ahead of time.

Some of the things he said were. You know you will no longer think like an engineer. Then he named a female engineer and said she is ok but she has not had children yet. There were 6 or so comments like that. Recently when I told him I joined a LGBT gym in the gayborhood he snickered and I asked why and he said you know why. I wanted to say it is a safe place for me and I feel comfortable there but instead I just looked at him smiling and making chuckling sounds. I think he thinks gender is a sexuality; I do not care as long as he rates me on performance.