I just can't help myself, I'm Jealous

[MelissaAnn]

I just can't help it . I am so jealous of pregnant women I ever sense I was 16 years old I wanted to experience being pregnant. I want to know what  it feels like to have a baby inside of me moving and kicking. I feel this way even more now that I'm transitioning, it really does bother me sometimes how some women take it for granted that they can get pregnant, especially the women that have babies just so they can get more money out of the government.

What brought this on was I went to my GP yesterday for a checkup and his nurse is pregnant. Now don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy for her, she is a very sweet nurturing person. So last night I had a dream that I was post op and I was pregnant. Needless to say I was very disappointed and emotional when I woke up. Especially knowing that uterus transplant's are happening, but in my lifetime a trans woman most likely will not receive one. This is making me a little blue today.

[mrs izzy]

Add me to that same list.

Only issue I am way to old now and health would never allow.

Sigh!

[suzifrommd]

It helps me to know that there are millions of cisgender women who also cannot get pregnant. I feel a kinship to them.

[ImagineKate]

Oh heck yes. I get jealous all the time of baby bumps and expecting in general.

But when my wife was pregnant I kind of got to experience the sympathetic pregnancy but I know it's not the same. We had fertility treatment because we couldn't conceive the old fashioned way and I was basically with her all the way through the process, injecting hormones and other stuff... plus I went to all the OB/GYN appointments and I still go to the doctor with her.

But I wish I could be pregnant myself.

As for infertile women, I kind of feel their pain. There were some who were in the clinic, on medication for months and nothing. It was pretty depressing for them.

But I have 3 kids who love me so at least I have that, and I'm happy with them.

[LizMarie]

That's something of a good sign though, you know?

When I asked my therapist how she knew I was trans and not gay, she stopped, looked at me and said, "Let's go over the evidence. You've considered genital self-harm. You dream of being a bride, a wife, wanting to get pregnant, to carry a child, to give birth, to nurse a child. Gay men don't feel that way. They love their penis. They enjoy being men. You're not gay; you're trans." So I guess it's a healthy (but obviously not required) sign of being trans if you want to conceive, carry a child, give birth, and nurse it.

[Christine Eryn]

A parent is one thing that I never aspired to be. I can seriously barely take care of myself, especially on the finance end.

[Hailey zy]

I've never felt jealous of just pregnant women but jealous of all women. Going thru High School wasn't easy with that little voice in the back of head always saying why don't you have breast or long hair. That voice drove me crazy all day long, but now that I've started to transition it has mostly gone away.

[ImagineKate]

I've never felt jealous of just pregnant women but jealous of all women. Going thru High School wasn't easy with that little voice in the back of head always saying why don't you have breast or long hair. That voice drove me crazy all day long, but now that I've started to transition it has mostly gone away.

Well yes that too. What's worse for me is that for primary and secondary (elementary and junior high/high) I went to boys schools.

[Wild Flower]

Im Scarlet OHara on this type of things. I only want a daughter to give her the childhood i never had.

[Jess42]

I am not jealous in the least. Maybe a little envious of their ability to be mothers to genetic children. But the stretch marks, the bloating the discomfort for nine months. Not to mention the complications that could become involved. If I had to deal with it I would and gladly for my child, but not for me though. It isn't the most comfortable thing in the world for 9 months. Not to mention the hormonal changes from day to day. Pregnancy would be a nine month pain in the butt. One I would go through gladly but would not look forward to other than the final outcome. The tiny little life in my arms and tears of joy. That would be worth it. But it is just as much worth it signing adoption papers. There are plenty of couples that can't have children because of one or the other. No big deal because there are plenty of children tha need mothers and fathers.

OMG. Now I am thrown back to my days in Korea. Running a bus for the American something or other when we hosted an orphanage and gave those children a good day. For that day I had one boy and one girl that clung to me all day. My Gawd and instant bond and mother bear spirit that I have never ever experienced before. I am still haunted because they both begged me to adopt them. I even looked into it but a single soldier and seemingly a male one even though... Well you all know. OMG. I think I just found one of my triggers. I lost my heart. If I would have been female I could have possibly. If I would have been married, , I could have. Wow. What if I would have told them I was trans. Yeah the same especially back then. Well that is one of my triggers. So now I know. Time for bed and crying all night again.

[Handy]

A parent is one thing that I never aspired to be. I can seriously barely take care of myself, especially on the finance end.

This; for me not being able to get pregnant is definitely on the list of 'perks'. That said, I can completely understand how it would be a source of dysphoria for some people. Don't give up hope; no telling where medical technology will be down the road. I don't know if it will be in our lifetimes, but certainly one day trans women will be able to give birth.

[TSJasmine]

I totally understand that feeling :/ I get so annoyed when biological girls tell me stuff like "You should be so glad you can't get a period!". Like, I nearly cried the other week because I can't help but think about how I want to have children with a man. How my entire life ahead of me is honestly thought / planned for the future of me & a family. Not just me as an individual, but to provide for a family with a husband & child. I wish I could so bad... Thinking about it right now is making me teary eyed honestly. Oh well...

[katrinaw]

Would have loved to be pregnant and give birth... Despite!

We all feel sad on this subject, as being born in the wrong gender has robbed us of this amazing feeling!

Locked these wishes away a long while ago, unfortunately....

L Katy

[Hideyoshi]

I get a pang of sadness whenever I see a pregnant woman. I don't lose sleep over it, but it's just another thing that makes me dysphoric

[FairyHime]

I'm on the boat where it's one of those things constantly hitting me. To me the idea of being a mother just feels right, and I can't wait to experience that one day, but there's always that huge gap in my heart from knowing I can't have my own baby growing inside. I don't get to feel its heartbeat that first time, or feel it moving around, or any of that.

I know I'll feel happy one day being me and I don't want to give up on kids since adoption and other options exist, but it's always hard imagining not feeling cheated by the fact it's something I will never get to experience.

[RosieD]

Jealousy is never a good thing, it's ultimately a self-destructive emotion. Similarly, dwelling on things that aren't possible rather than accepting them and moving on is just going to cause you pain. At some point, maybe even quite soon, technology will allow trans-women to bear children but we aren't there yet. In the meantime there is always adoption or donating to relevant research efforts as outlets.

Rosie

[spx_1112]

I wouldn't call it jealousy or envy but I wish I could experience the miracle of life myself. Hugs Shannon

[Michelle G]

It helps me to know that there are millions of cisgender women who also cannot get pregnant. I feel a kinship to them.

Exactly

[spx_1112]

PM girls if you want to stay in touch. Hugs Shannon

[LilDevilOfPrada]

Am I the only one who is content with just knowing I could breast feed my own child? I mean the right proe and e regimen makes it possible and that to me is enough.